Just can't wait toilet card.

missbiggles1

Stripeybat wrote: »

Yes but they also said they had Autism (and its associated issues with 'when to go'), which is a medical condition. I interpreted it as them saying they didn't have a physical bladder/bowel condition. Which, admittedly could be a wrong interpretation. Either way, I find it a little unnecessary to decide for someone else whether their disability warrants the need to use a toilet quickly - only the person themselves can say that.

Of course - presumably that's why anybody can get one of these cards without needing any proof.

System

Just ordered one for my daughter . Thanks op.

OldMotherTucker

Dekaspace - I don't believe it's ever worth the effort of going into detail about conditions or restrictions that a condition causes you.

I'll be completely honest - I find talking about toilet habits repulsive at the best of times - but I had more empathy for your possible need for a card before you went into detail. I've never quite been able to grasp Autism - my brain doesn't work that way:p

It's very hard to describe the effects of something in this two dimensional form - it always sounds weak . .

Better to not ask Joe Public if you think you need one - you don't need THEIR permission or approval. Rather than saying 'I can't do such and such because . . ' Just say 'I have Autism'. People can't trivialise what you don't say!!!

Get yourself a card - if you need to use it y then you have that option if you can manage without using it - all well and good!!

As long as you don't take the P;)

Cyclamen

Glaswegen - i second your statement about how clean disabled loo's are.. and we have to take our wheelchairs across the floors which then come into our homes.. however some are immaculate with every possible grab rail and accessory required. I try to be choosy in town and will often go and have a coffee so i can use cleaner loo's with better grab rails.

Dekaspace.. i have no issue with you getting a radar card and using disabled loo's. there are many invisible illnesses that mean the person using the loo could be 'perfectly healthy and just jumping the queue' or could 'have a physical or mental need', so its best not to judge.

I don't know if i'd have the confidence to use one of those cards from bladder and bowel foundation. But then I do tend to know where the accessible loo's are, which shops have them (i do buy a coffee) and as i dont have extreme urgency i'm covered but for those who arent they are a good idea. However i do wonder how many shops would actually allow someone to use the staff loo's.

fed_up_and_stressed

dekaspace wrote: »

And FYI I am not talking about going to a busy disablity toilet but lets say I am in a shopping centre and theres a long queue for the regular toilets and none for disability it would help me to go to the disability one.

And back to the autism side I can get distressed waiting to point my heart is beating so fast.

If I go to bar I am the opposite I keep going every few minutes and nothing happens so I can't tell when I need to go unless I really am ready to burst.

FYI I have also lost control of my body functions due to this but its rare only because I rarely leave the house and when I do its short distance so I don't go to large shopping centres much.

Are psychological conditions not valid?

Let me tell you the other side of the coin. The disabled toilets often aren't empty. When I have to use a wheelchair and need the toilet I am often sat outside like a lemming for ages and ages with no choice to use a standard toilet before a mum and about three kids who could have been in and out of the "normal loos" pile out (often after obviously using the toilets to try on clothes apply makeup etc).


Then get told. sorry we preferred to go together, there was no one waiting, the toilet was free when we went in ... So they have no idea who is desperately needing (usually) the ONLY disabled loo whilst they faff about in there through a free choice whilst someone without that choice is left to suffer.

A bit like the selfish plebs who say it doesn't matter they are only popping into a shop whilst abusing a disabled bay without considering the people who need the bay now have nowhere to park.

If you can use the normal loos then please do so. If you are using one cubicle for 5-10 mins then at least there are probably other cubicles for others. If you are taking up the only disabled loo then you are taking away that resource potentially from someone / people who has no alternative.

faerielight

Gen.. I agree.. most public disabled loos are so dirty Another toilet gripe I had when I had the ostomy was that a lot of toilets either didn't have a hook for clothes or a shelf to put the ostomy kit on.. wipes, adhesive remover, clean bag etc, so it became a gamble I couldn't risk and I stopped going out altogether.. The only loos that had a shelf were ones that had a baby changing place and they were few and far between.. It's all the added stresses.. like the dirty floors and your wheelchair wheels having to then go in the house, that put many disabled people off leaving the house.. it sucks.

I remember once being in Homebase with the bag when it burst and begging them to let me use their loo. Despite the fact they could see I was covered in poo, the young man refused, then eventually got on the loudspeaker saying " Manager to information desk, lady with a colostomy needs to use the toilet".. It was one of the most humiliating times of my life. I can't help thinking if I had had the toilet card, it might have stopped him from humiliating me over the microphone.

Fedup.. It really bugs me too when I see mothers and kids using the disabled loos for extended time. it is so selfish and thoughtless.
Dekaspace.. you don't need to defend yourself...it's just going to invoke more arguments, make yourself more vulnerable on here, and stress you out further. you have a disability.. autism.. if you feel that you need the card get it... end of.

pipkin71

If I am in town, I tend to eat lunch at M&S and their disabled toilets are regularly cleaned so prefer to go there than anywhere else. Dirty toilets, disabled or not, are rather unpleasant, worse still when you have no choice but to use them.

System

While generally I would agree with the statements about the parent and her children using the disable loo no one knows if one of the party has a hidden disability.

My daughter used the disabled toilet in the hospital I did go in with her but came out to a vocal OAP in a wheelchair , she wasn't to know that my Epileptic 18 yr old was having clusters of seizures she was just happy to jump to conclusions and assume that her wheelchair gave her more entitlement needless to say I did put her right.

9 times out of 10 she uses the general toilets but occasionally she needs to go to the disabled one for whatever reason .

faerielight

I agree, lots of disabilities are invisible, most of mine are.. I don't see the harm in asking people if they really need to use the loos if you're really desperate.

Dekaspace..It sounds like everything is overwhelming you at the moment. check with your local mental health team to see if they know of any helplines.. my city has a mental health helpline that is open from 8pm to 8 am.

Dekaspace.. I am worried that you are leaving yourself vulnerable on here and on other threads, as I can hear the stress and anxiety in your posts.. You are welcome to come and talk on the "Here we can all be heard for a little while" thread in the "Marriage, relationships and families" section of MSE.. Waves and Smiles started a safe protected thread for anyone feeling distressed.. They are all a lovely bunch I will leave the same message on your other thread.

fed_up_and_stressed

CHRISSYG wrote: »

While generally I would agree with the statements about the parent and her children using the disable loo no one knows if one of the party has a hidden disability.

My daughter used the disabled toilet in the hospital I did go in with her but came out to a vocal OAP in a wheelchair , she wasn't to know that my Epileptic 18 yr old was having clusters of seizures she was just happy to jump to conclusions and assume that her wheelchair gave her more entitlement needless to say I did put her right.

9 times out of 10 she uses the general toilets but occasionally she needs to go to the disabled one for whatever reason .

I was the person who raised about the kids in the disabled loos. I ask if they are disabled and are unable to use the non disabled loo and 9/10 times get told no. I was referring to people who admit they were just using them out of convenience actually in my original post about it - hence my stating about them saying they prefer to go in together - ie a choice to misuse the disabled loo not a need to use it.