Husband off sick and no sick pay. Ideas needed to survive it

k3lvc

Persephone_Mulberry wrote: »

It's a good idea but unfortunately not - we're actually having to look at paying them to do extra days on occasion as he looks after her one day a week (part-time work) but at the moment there are days he potentially isn't going to be able to cope with it.

Also apparently it's quite important with children who are dealing with parents suffering depression to try and keep up their routine - and she would be horribly sad and confused if she stopped going to nursery for her two days a week.

OK - time to be harsher (and I feel I can as I'm the Husband that's been in the depressed/off work situation with young child(ren) - albeit I didn't have quite the same financial worries)

Even with everything you can find to take out of your SOA you still have a £200+ gap

Children are resilient things and can thrive on variety as well as routine - depending on your locality there are often free kids groups that will give both of them (some of) the social interaction needed.

If this is absolutely impossible in your eyes then something else significant will be going - either car and associated expenses or TV/internet/phone/mobile

As a final option in terms of childcare how old is child ? Will they qualify for more funding soon and are you utilising childcare vouchers to minimise cost ?

kathrynha

Definitely agree with trying Aldi. I shop for 2 adults and a 10 year old for about £40 a week, and that includes lots fresh fruit and veg, and lots of meat, so if you miss out the meat you will save even more.
I'm not catering for gluten free, but am dealing with various allergies, and if you cook from scratch it is easy as they have all the basic ingredients you need.

A number of things on your list seem rather high, but I am guessing you are tied in to a contract, but if not the mobile phone cost definitely need looking at.

Entertainment at £60 a month seems a lot when you are skint. Replacing evenings out with evenings in saves money, and there are lots of websites with suggestions of free things to do with a kid. Especially easy to save on that at this time of the year when the weather is nice.

It's also worth checking you are getting everything you are entitled to benefits wise.

HappyMJ

Persephone_Mulberry wrote: »

I don't know anything about that sort of thing - is that in any way a step towards risking our house? #anxious The reason we have such good equity is because we bought the house from my dad at a big discount (sort of an advanced inheritance I suppose) and the value has gone up since we bought it - if that makes a difference.

That's why I suggested paying just the interest so you don't owe any more than you do now.

You can resume normal repayments when you can.

As long as you talk to your lender your house will not be at risk.

Especially in your case as you have so much equity. They start to get worried when there is little equity in the property and repossessing the property won't repay the mortgage. You have a long time before that happens.

Banks are required to be helpful when customers are facing financial difficulty. They will work with you.

bouncydog1

I don't eat meat but do eat fish. However a large portion of my diet is veggie. Lentils, chickpeas, cous-cous, beans, pasta, veggie stock cubes, herbs, spices, sultanas, etc. None of these are expensive to buy and with a bit of imagination and internet research for recipes, it's possible to live very cheaply using these things. I don't buy organic eggs, but I do buy free range and these are not expensive. Surely they do them in Aldi or Lidl?

missbiggles1

Persephone_Mulberry wrote: »

Hi. Thanks for the suggestions! I'm not sure I can cut the mobile bills as we are both still in contract - any ideas re that?

Petrol - maybe, hopefully, but I'm going to see how that goes. Plus I work.
Childcare - it won't drop, because he is at home ill, not at home just having some time off. Also it would be really disruptive to our little girl, which I want to avoid.

I'm not speaking of my specific comments but something has got to go. That's an enormous amount to pay on mobiles anyway, given that neither of you were working full time and if you husband isn't going to work you will save money on petrol (unless where he worked was in walking distance). You can't just "see how it goes", you have to stop spending it.

nkkingston

Do yourself a thorough benefit check. With your current income I'm sure there's more you're entitled to.

Food costs are definitely a place where you can start cutting. It is going to involve cooking from scratch a lot, and it's probably not going to be very exciting food (but that's not a bad thing - three year old's aren't known for their love of exotic curries!) but if you batch cook and freeze you can make sure it doesn't overwhelm you.

Definitely speak to the bank about reducing the mortgage payments. They don't want you to lose your house! It's a massive faff for them, and if the mortgage terms gets extended then, well, that's more money for them in the long term.

Aso try ringing your mobile company and asking about the contracts. Depending where you are in them, they might be willing to reduce the amounts. Most people are massively overpaying on contracts - they pay for more than double what they use in terms of internet and minutes - and like the mortgage company, it's much more convenient to them as a company if you keep paying them even a smaller amount, than if you stop paying altogether and they have to come after you for it.

This might be a slightly back to front way of looking at it, and probably a thought for the future, but do you have space to keep a couple of chickens? You can get ex-battery chickens very cheaply and you can feed them predominantly on scraps (vegetable peelings etc). There are costs in getting a good chicken run set up, and they don't lay all year round, so it's probably not ideal right now, but it can also potentially help with depression - being responsible for the welfare of something that can't look after itself can really help on the days when getting out of bed just doesn't seem like an option.

HappyMJ

bouncydog1 wrote: »

I don't eat meat but do eat fish. However a large portion of my diet is veggie. Lentils, chickpeas, cous-cous, beans, pasta, veggie stock cubes, herbs, spices, sultanas, etc. None of these are expensive to buy and with a bit of imagination and internet research for recipes, it's possible to live very cheaply using these things. I don't buy organic eggs, but I do buy free range and these are not expensive. Surely they do them in Aldi or Lidl?

That depends on your definition of expensive.....

Aldi - Colony cage mixed sized eggs - 6.7p/egg
Aldi - Colony cage - 7.5p/ large egg
Aldi - Free range - 14.8p/large egg
Aldi - Organic - 23.2p/large egg

An egg from a hen in a colony cage is half that of a egg from a hen that is considered "free range" and a third of that of a hen kept in the best conditions.

It's a big difference to a household consuming 3 eggs per person per week. 90p/week for 4 people or £2.78/week for 4 people.

bouncydog1

Maybe - but I'd sooner do without eggs than eat those from chickens consigned to a life of misery!

crazy_cat_lady

Jack Monroe is vegan now so I'm sure that there will be loads of stuff on their blog that is suitable for you food wise. (cookingonabootstrap.com)
I am the wife trying to hold the household together with a depressed husband. In the past 8 years he's had 3 extended periods of sick leave on SSP (8 months, 5 months, and 6 months) - the most recent of which was up until March this year. The first time, I tried to carry on as normal and ran up a load of debt on overdrafts and credit cards. Second time, we were on a dmp so payments were reduced for a while. The most recent time I budgeted hard, finished paying the dmp and haven't ran up any more debt at all. It's hard work, but I did Christmas, hospital stays etc on the reduced income. And that included free range eggs and meat from the butchers...
As others have said, you have to plan. If it's boring meals for the foreseeable future then that's what it is. And sorry, but if you have no money then you need to make the most of iPlayer/DVDs etc. I got absolutely nothing present wise for Christmas last year, but I did get him home on the day which was worth more than anything in the world to me and our kids. You can't afford your entertainment and present budget at the moment. Put it on hold until he's better - that's more important. I'm sure you won't mind, and if you reassure him then he won't feel bad either. And for what it's worth, I would keep childcare going if you can - if things are looking difficult then contact your health visitor - there may be funding available for nursery to help you out while he's ill.
I just showed my dh your post and asked for his ideas. He says it's such an individual thing when someone is depressed, but it could be a long haul. Don't expect too much too soon.

cms-help

If your daughter is 3 then she is entitled to 15 free hours of childcare each week (term time only). If she's only attending for 2 days a week then most of her time there should be free?