SOA please offer advice.

Dird

kimplus8 wrote: »

yup-8, was waiting for that, thanks.
getting sterilised ASAP.

(Text removed by MSE Forum Team)

Haircuts, entertainment, presents, groceries & gas/electric all seem overly high...even for 9 people
If only you have a mobile then that's high also~ if split between 2-3 of you then it's good

kimplus8

undaunted wrote: »

What are you thinking? This charming sounding guy isn't doing you or your children a favour seeing them or "helping you" and there's no reason you should feel embarrassed about asking him to step up - assuming that all 8 are his too it's his duty to provide for your children at least as much as it is yours. Allowing him to continue like this is surely just another form of abuse & control isn't it?




Assuming that he now has any money after bankruptcy please stand up for yourself and your children & go & get your entitlement(s) asap - it's their right not a favour that he provides for them!!


As to your SOA.


Food sounds high to me. Keep an eye out for bargains & cook fresh perhaps?


Haircuts £50 p/m ? Even with 9 of you perhaps a trip to the local hairdressing college every couple of months would cost less than £100


Emergency fund £100 - just how much is already in this fund & how much worse are things going to get before a debtor goes to Court & you have an "emergency"?


No tv - saving the license but significant entertainment expenses. I know there are 8 kids and yourself but can you really afford them all / would a tv help offset a little of them? Would it be cheaper to dump the internet - which you could still access via school, libraries etc and have a tv license instead?


Other travel? What is this? Generally it's going to be cheaper to drive than use public transport - particularly for 9 of you isn't it? Where possible, could you park on free streets rather than pay for parking? (I appreciate with 8 kids this may not always be possible)


Utilities - you may or may not be able to save money by switching. If you are in debt to them consider an application to the trust fund to clear that. http://www.charisgrants.com/ Also get onto your landlord - and if necessary local council - to chase up getting a decent and possibly more economical heating system in place, make sure the house is properly insulated etc

Other travel is for my 2 eldest to get to school it's £17 per week for each of them
We need the Internet, 3 of the kids are set homework online, it would be chaos for my to take them all to the library to do homework and they use the Internet far more than we would get out of tv.
I am cutting groceries back as we speak and will go without haircuts, I can shave off some of the entertainment costs too with careful planning. Sadly not much is free around here and if we all go somewhere together it's £15 in bus fair for us all and we can't all fit in the car,
Medical cost are dentist as there are no nhs spaces at moment where I live unless it is an emergency, and for glasses for 4 kids and myself, which the school have lost twice and I have had to replace.
Currently nothing in emergency fund but I have a fridge on its way out and a washing machine so to follow suit, I need an emergency fund for this purpose as I don't have a spare 2-300 pounds to replace an appliance at the drop of a hat.
I'm going to call CMO on Monday and start a maintenance claim. I need to just stop being such a fanny and do it, you are totally right of course and it's not helping anyone by me letting him walk all over me, I spent 10 years doing that in our marriage. :-/

[Deleted User]

kimplus8 wrote: »

and they use the Internet far more than we would get out of TV.

Plus, you can watch most TV programmes on the internet, without splashing out £145-50 pa for a licence.

loupoppins

how old are your dc?
I think , despite what others have said, that 1000 isn't that bad for groceries. Does that include things like washing powder, shower gel etc? There are 8 of us in this household, me, DH and 6 dc.
we tend to spend around 1000 on groceries a month, and generally I do cook everything form scratch etc... In past years I have managed to get this down a bit by going late to supermarket to get reduced items etc.. but tbh it is a lot of mouths to feed and you need a lot of food!;)
I agree though haircuts could be reduced. I only pay for eldest ds haircuts on a regular basis. 4 daughters I all trim myself, trim my own and Hubby has his own clippers. youngest son occasionally gets my trims/alternates with hairdresser.
£17/week travel for your eldest sounds a lot - could they get any cheaper with monthly pass etc?
What does your entertainment budget include? I agree it is expensive going anywhere with a large family, but to be honest we spend very little on entertainment. We do lots of parks,walks in countryside, picnics etc Have you included cost of kids clubs/hobbies in entertainment? That is something which does add up for us. Also does this category then include cost of school trips? Do you need to allocate any money to school supplies - stationary etc?
Is there any way you could increase your hours to make more money each month? this may not work if you have very little ones though.
good luck with it all. (oh and ignore the really unhelpful judgey comments!!)

tiredwithtwins

I know how you feel about the ex ... mine is the same, and would bad mouth me to the kids - mine are 15,15 & 18 and although the 18 yo is wise to him being a loser, one of the boys thinks the sun shines out of his derrier and would turn against me.


difficult one, you are doing your best - 8 kids is amazing and I think your spending is very conservative considering what a lot of parents spend on their kids,


hope it works out for you,


xxx

kimplus8

loupoppins wrote: »

how old are your dc?
I think , despite what others have said, that 1000 isn't that bad for groceries. Does that include things like washing powder, shower gel etc? There are 8 of us in this household, me, DH and 6 dc.
we tend to spend around 1000 on groceries a month, and generally I do cook everything form scratch etc... In past years I have managed to get this down a bit by going late to supermarket to get reduced items etc.. but tbh it is a lot of mouths to feed and you need a lot of food!;)
I agree though haircuts could be reduced. I only pay for eldest ds haircuts on a regular basis. 4 daughters I all trim myself, trim my own and Hubby has his own clippers. youngest son occasionally gets my trims/alternates with hairdresser.
£17/week travel for your eldest sounds a lot - could they get any cheaper with monthly pass etc?
What does your entertainment budget include? I agree it is expensive going anywhere with a large family, but to be honest we spend very little on entertainment. We do lots of parks,walks in countryside, picnics etc Have you included cost of kids clubs/hobbies in entertainment? That is something which does add up for us. Also does this category then include cost of school trips? Do you need to allocate any money to school supplies - stationary etc?
Is there any way you could increase your hours to make more money each month? this may not work if you have very little ones though.
good luck with it all. (oh and ignore the really unhelpful judgey comments!!)

The kids are 11, 9,8,6,4,2,1 and 8 due in a few weeks.
The groceries for ncludes everything like washing powder, wet wipes, cleaning stuff, school meals ( I'm going to make packed lunches now though).
Entertainment includes all school trips, after school clubs, any crafty hobby type bits and pieces and money for school project materials etc, also for their pocket money and phone credit which is £3 a week for eldest 2.
It also includes sons footy club on a sat and my girls dance after school. Like I said above as 3 school days I'm at work they I pay for dance and footy but consider this childcare, if they didn't use these clubs ild have to pay for after school care which is actually an extra £1each so I save really doing it this way.
I'm only taking 8 weeks mat leave and then I'll be able to get an extra shift in somewhere or pick up some cleaning work etc to boost my income.
The travel cost I can't manage to get any cheaper as I'm not in a position to buy a monthly bus pass for each of them but I could stagger it so I don't have the cost all at once??
Thanks for all your advice

missbiggles1

kimplus8 wrote: »

Ive not included debts etc as at the moment I'm not paying off any of them and want to get my SOA sorted first and then look at how I'm going to pay them off. I feel sick just looking at it, I know I'm out of control at spending so please don't be too harsh but I need to hear the truth to sort my head out. THANKS IN ADVANCE FOR ALL OF YOURHELP:A.

Household Information[/b]
Number of adults in household........... 1
Number of children in household......... 8
Number of cars owned....................

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 702.6
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 2612.96
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 3315.56

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 750
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 57.28
Electricity............................. 108.33
Gas..................................... 108.33
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 60
Telephone (land line)................... 11.5
Mobile phone............................ 24.6
TV Licence.............................. 0
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 11.5
Groceries etc. ......................... 1000
Clothing................................ 30
Petrol/diesel........................... 40
Road tax................................ 17
Car Insurance........................... 55.04
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 50
Car parking............................. 20
Other travel............................ 147.33
Childcare/nursery....................... 257.9
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 30
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 19
Life assurance ......................... 26
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 100
Haircuts................................ 50
Entertainment........................... 234.3
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 100
Total monthly expenses.................. 3308.11

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 3,315.56
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 3,308.11
Available for debt repayments........... 7.45
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 0
Amount left after debt repayments....... 7.45

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 0
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -0
Net Assets.............................. 0

Don't you claim LHA/HB for your rent? The amount you've listed for benefits just looks like the child related benefits you'd get for 8 children.

kimplus8

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Don't you claim LHA/HB for your rent? The amount you've listed for benefits just looks like the child related benefits you'd get for 8 children.

Yes that includes what I get in housing benefit. I have check everything I am entitled to. This is it.

Jon_B_2

This is a real toughie.

I think it's clear that 8 kids is what is making this inherently difficult.

It may seem a bit radical, but is there no possibility half your kids could live with their Dad?

Are you living alone? You state you split with your ex 2 years ago, yet you have your eighth child due imminently. I know a bit about the birds and bees, but there has to be someone else involved and who can therefore either be living with you/helping.

kimplus8

Jon_B wrote: »

This is a real toughie.

I think it's clear that 8 kids is what is making this inherently difficult.

It may seem a bit radical, but is there no possibility half your kids could live with their Dad?

Are you living alone? You state you split with your ex 2 years ago, yet you have your eighth child due imminently. I know a bit about the birds and bees, but there has to be someone else involved and who can therefore either be living with you/helping.

No half the kids can not live with their dad, we split due to domestic violence and we have a working agreement with social services that states that they are all to remain in my care unless it's monitored contact with him, the baby is not his.
I was seeing a guy who left me when I was 3 months pregnant to get back with his ex wife.
He is now denying paternity and will not even talk to me.
I don't expect anyone to understand but I was 14 weeks pregnant and there was no way at that stage I could have chosen to not keep the baby. I made a huge mistake on the back of my very messy break up and divorce and was on contraception when I got caught hence why I'm getting sterilised as soon as I can.