Joined 31.05.16

Poor_Single_lady

Hello Fay. I feel my thread has become a bit hopeless. Not sure what will happen. But think I need to move jobs and add the debt to the mortgage and sort of "start again".
It's payday tommorow at least. Much needed.

fay66

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

Hello Fay. I feel my thread has become a bit hopeless. Not sure what will happen. But think I need to move jobs and add the debt to the mortgage and sort of "start again".
It's payday tommorow at least. Much needed.

Yes I can see where your comming from I dont own my own home, I did in the good old days but was spending then silly been bancrupt once, Im going to try and rein these in or I wont learn

Poor_Single_lady

I'm not sure I will ever learn either. I watched my mum struggle to feed everyone and we have some photos that show a completely poverty stricken household.
My mum says that it was the same for everyone in the 80s but there are photos of her where she looks like she hasn't eaten for days.

I always said that I didn't want to be in the same position and never had any interest in starting a family (obviously it's a good job really given that I am single towers). But never expected to be so poor from my own making.

i am doing all the right things now but worry that I have left it too late and got in too deep.
Kind of just doing one day at a time approach which seems to work better than big sweeping plans.

since payday
£30 train ticket
£2.80 coffee
£10 cleaning supplies
£2 book
£5 watch battery
£8 Lidl

Thursday -
possible small top up shop
Mortgage payment
last day of the month.

fay66

Theres a lot of us in same boat unfortunately our wages arent increasing with the cost of living. Its the fat rats that are getting richer. single people seem to be forgot,

helsbell

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

I'm not sure I will ever learn either. I watched my mum struggle to feed everyone and we have some photos that show a completely poverty stricken household.
My mum says that it was the same for everyone in the 80s but there are photos of her where she looks like she hasn't eaten for days.

I always said that I didn't want to be in the same position and never had any interest in starting a family (obviously it's a good job really given that I am single towers). But never expected to be so poor from my own making.

i am doing all the right things now but worry that I have left it too late and got in too deep.
Kind of just doing one day at a time approach which seems to work better than big sweeping plans.

since payday
£30 train ticket
£2.80 coffee
£10 cleaning supplies
£2 book
£5 watch battery
£8 Lidl

Thursday -
possible small top up shop
Mortgage payment
last day of the month.

This is a lovely post, and maybe gives some insight into your attitude to money now. You know you don't want to be in that position, but at the same time you're fed up being 'poor' so you refuse to act it and treat yourself to all the things you want instead of choosing just one.

Its also easier if, as your mum said, everyone is in the same boat. When everyone around you seems to be able to spend money like water, you automatically feel poor if you don't do the same.

You seem to be doing a good job of not comparing yourself quite so much to others lately. Maybe that's the key for you.

maddiemay

Still cheering you along, but cannot post properly on this tablet, creaky hands better suited to keyboard not pointy stick thing!
Take care, you will get there, you have achieved so much in your life already. Just keep plodding along. As for the 80's it was so tough, don't want to revisit!!

[Deleted User]

Sometimes a fresh start is just what you need and we will all be here for you when you are ready to get back on the DFW journey.

Dxxx

Verbatim

A fresh start could easily mean a new journey building up more debt on top of what is consolidated on to the mortgage if more is spent than
earned.

armchairexpert

I agree with Verbatim.

PSL, you've made a few decisions which are aimed at making things easier for you (i.e., more spending money) rather than getting rid of the debt faster, including paying off a loan instead of the cards. And you say that it feels psychologically better, and you have to live, and it's hard as a single person. But you've been doing this for years, and your spending isn't really much improved, is it? You've said before you won't post an SOA because it'll show a lot of discretionary spending that you don't want to get rid of.

The thing is, there's just no magic solution to this. Consolidating debt, for someone who feels economising as a burden and is prone to overspends, is going to end in disaster. I wish that wasn't true. But it is. Why on earth would 'starting again' work, when nothing's changed?

StokieBecks

If you seriously want a fresh start, sell your flat, move somewhere a lot cheaper (not London) and go from there.

Hard to define poor as it is all relative ...my income is way less than yours and would love the disposable income you seem to have but I am chipping away at all my debts, not adding to them but still buy myself things/enjoy days out/treats etc when I want to .

My big concern is that you will add your debt to the mortgage but won't have changed your habits so will still spend on cards, adding more to your debt and what happens if your mortgage payments increase with a rise in interest rates and go above your affordability and you risk losing everything?

Obviously none of us are walking your journey we can only advise as we see it but for things to change you have to change your spending habits. Otherwise it will just be a viscious circle.

Maybe it is now time to speak to a debt charity and see what they advise.