Affording to start a family when female is breadwinner

spadoosh

Scorpio33 wrote: »

I am flabbergasted by some of these replies.


Surely whoever earns the most goes to work full time and whoever doesn't, stays at home to look after the house? The sex of which person does what is irrelevant?

Not in my case. She earns most, we'll blag our way through on my wage and what she gets in maternity pay. If she needs to go back she will but we'll try and avoid that.

Surely however a couple decide to raise their child as long as the child gets what it needs it doesnt matter who earns the most?

onlyroz

Person_one wrote: »

You could afford 6 months easily under my system.

Yes sorry reresd your post. Of course full pay would be marvellous.

Person_one

Scorpio33 wrote: »

I am flabbergasted by some of these replies.


Surely whoever earns the most goes to work full time and whoever doesn't, stays at home to look after the house? The sex of which person does what is irrelevant?


I can understand that the majority of companies are a bit behind the times in only offering extended leave to mothers post birth, and in these situations, I accept that it is best for the mum to utilise this as much as possible, but when it becomes unaffordable to stay off work, she would go back to work. As a dad, I would love to take 6-9 months off after my kids were born, but unfortunately the most I got was 2 weeks. After that I couldn't afford to take any more time off, so went back to work.


I just don't understand the assumption that the mother would go back part time when she is the main earner?

Its recommended by the NHS, the WHO, basically everybody that children are exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months of their life, as much as this is possible. The system should allow for that. After the first 6 months, I personally think that dads should be forced to have their 6 months off too. It'd iron out the pay gap faster than any other measure you could introduce for one thing!

LannieDuck

Person_one wrote: »

Its recommended by the NHS, the WHO, basically everybody that children are exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months of their life, as much as this is possible. The system should allow for that. After the first 6 months, I personally think that dads should be forced to have their 6 months off too. It'd iron out the pay gap faster than any other measure you could introduce for one thing!

It's possible to express so that Dad can stay at home with the baby and bottle-feed the expressed milk. It requires a bit more effort and organisation on the part of the mother tho. I believe it's a legal requirement that companies provide a place for a woman to express milk if requested.

If Mum's work is close enough, Dad could even bring the baby to meet Mum for lunch, so less expressed milk would be required

(I completely agree about reserving half of the parental leave for the father. I think our unequal mat/pat systems are the root cause of much sex-discrimination at work.)

Scorpio33

spadoosh wrote: »

Not in my case. She earns most, we'll blag our way through on my wage and what she gets in maternity pay. If she needs to go back she will but we'll try and avoid that.

Surely however a couple decide to raise their child as long as the child gets what it needs it doesnt matter who earns the most?

I agree that whatever works for each couple, as long as it is agreed between them, is the best thing to do.


To me, it just makes sense that in order to make life as comfy as possible, then couples should make the most of whoever earns most.

cyantist

HappyMJ wrote: »

I'd vote for that.

90% pay would be acceptable as there are no travel to work costs to pay out for.

This country only pays 90% pay for a measly 6 weeks with no maximum and it's back to full time work if you earn a decent amount, have a mortgage to pay and can't afford to live on ShPP.

Despite increases it's still one of the lowest in the EU.

I get 6 months full pay at my workplace. You just need to find a good employer!

Person_one

LannieDuck wrote: »

It's possible to express so that Dad can stay at home with the baby and bottle-feed the expressed milk. It requires a bit more effort and organisation on the part of the mother tho. I believe it's a legal requirement that companies provide a place for a woman to express milk if requested.

If Mum's work is close enough, Dad could even bring the baby to meet Mum for lunch, so less expressed milk would be required

(I completely agree about reserving half of the parental leave for the father. I think our unequal mat/pat systems are the root cause of much sex-discrimination at work.)

Not every woman can express, some try and never manage to produce enough to fully meet the baby's needs no matter how much effort and organisation they put in.

onlyroz

spadoosh wrote: »

I tried blagging this with the good lady and im a proper 21st century man (do cooking and cleaning as well as opening doors and DIY!) it took about 3 weeks for the laughter to die down.

In all honesty shes had the last 7 months of having to constantly deal with all the stuff that goes with having a baby and ive had the same time to squeeze in the last remnants of no responsibility (and ive fully taken advantage of that too!:D). She deserves some time off work if thats what she wants.

Understand some financial reasons but wouldn't dream of telling her that she had to work because she was the bread winner unless it was purely for the well being of the child. It wouldnt be when we have other luxuries that could be stopped in order for her to have the time off.

Whoever suggested telling women that they had to share the parental leave with their partner?

Person_one

onlyroz wrote: »

Whoever suggested telling women that they had to share the parental leave with their partner?

Well, I did. I think it should be 50/50, 6 months each. The child is 50% of their DNA after all, and the idea that they each have 50% responsibility should start early so that we don't keep feeding the sort of discrimination that affects so many women at work and keeps the pay gap widening.

HappyMJ

cyantist wrote: »

I get 6 months full pay at my workplace. You just need to find a good employer!

One workplace I worked at in the past openly admitted they would not employ a woman of child bearing age in their 20's or 30's due to the high costs of maternity pay and leave. It's not easy to find "a good employer" when you're looking for work you will take anything on offer.