Being single and happy with it?

Poor_Single_lady

I know its different for everybody but I "knew" my ex boyfriend was the one for me. After 7 years together and watching everyone we knew get married our relationship suddenly went from having few problems and being incredibly good to being incredibly toxic and it brought a lot of damage to both of us. Icouldn't make it work with someone who couldn't commit to me. He didnt want to get engaged. And he felt like I had pushed him into a corner. He asked me to move out which i did and I moved to london. We don't speak now but to be honest 4 years later I never met anybody that called to my heart in the same way. I really don't expect to. I am just saying you're nit alone. It was an awful time but at the sane time does it not feel like a weight off your shoulders, like a total freedom, a fresh air. If it doesn't it should do soon, that's not to say its fixed overnight but you becoming you will be quite something and I imagine you will suprise yourself on what you can achieve. Don't forget to be kind to yourself either, its important. Lots of people will love you and will be willing you to see how much you can do on your own.

rita-rabbit

what about meetup.com?

lots of single people there who's friends are busy being loved up. lots of activities if it worries you doing activities alone....

kingrulzuk

I’m 32 and single for last 8 years, I have been on few dates but I can’t find that right girl I’m looking for who is serious about relationship, getting married, having kids.
I have tried online dating apps like POF, tinder but after going on few dates the girls on there are just looking for fun and nothing serious.
For now I just keep myself busy with work and my family, and hope that one day that my Miss Right comes along.

mildredalien

I split up from a long term partner when I was 27 - it was horribly scary, the thought of being alone as well as just weird to not be in a relationship with him after so long! I didn't date at all for about a year afterwards, I was learning how to be on my own and readjust to a different life. He moved in with another woman 200 miles away after about a month! Needless to say he was a bit of a plonker and I'm better off without him

Anyway, as others have suggested counselling could help if you are struggling to manage your feelings about the break up. It can take a couple of tries to click with a counsellor so don't be too put off if the first experiences isn't amazing.

The other thing to remember is that it's OK for it to take a while to get over a previous relationship. You'll know when you are ready to start dating again, and if you are never ready well that's OK too, plenty of people are single for all sorts of reasons! It's better to wait til you are ready than rush into an unsuitable relationship, that's for certain.

Kim_kim

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

I know its different for everybody but I "knew" my ex boyfriend was the one for me. After 7 years together and watching everyone we knew get married our relationship suddenly went from having few problems and being incredibly good to being incredibly toxic and it brought a lot of damage to both of us. Icouldn't make it work with someone who couldn't commit to me. He didnt want to get engaged. And he felt like I had pushed him into a corner. He asked me to move out which i did and I moved to london. We don't speak now but to be honest 4 years later I never met anybody that called to my heart in the same way. I really don't expect to. I am just saying you're nit alone. It was an awful time but at the sane time does it not feel like a weight off your shoulders, like a total freedom, a fresh air. If it doesn't it should do soon, that's not to say its fixed overnight but you becoming you will be quite something and I imagine you will suprise yourself on what you can achieve. Don't forget to be kind to yourself either, its important. Lots of people will love you and will be willing you to see how much you can do on your own.

I've been single over 2.5 years now. I've been quietly nursing my broken heart since I then.
Generally I'm happy single, but it would be nice sometimes to have a partner, holidays, xmas morning (waking up alone), New Year's Eve.
I want it to be "right", it scares me my ex was mr right. I wasn't even with him that long; only a couple of years in mid 40s. But it was the special one.

I think I'm coming around to the idea that maybe it is time to try the dating game again.

melanzana

A most inspiring thread.

Hats off to those who have contributed their stories. Thanks.

loveabargain13

kingrulzuk wrote: »

I’m 32 and single for last 8 years, I have been on few dates but I can’t find that right girl I’m looking for who is serious about relationship, getting married, having kids.
I have tried online dating apps like POF, tinder but after going on few dates the girls on there are just looking for fun and nothing serious.
For now I just keep myself busy with work and my family, and hope that one day that my Miss Right comes along.

Snap... yes I always believe in fate though. :j

kingrulzuk

Can I find Miss Right on MSE :think:

PeacefulWaters

I'm loving being single!

Wilma33

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I think that's going a bit over the top, quite honestly. It's quite normal to miss somebody and grieve over the end of a relationship - no need to medicalise it (unless you have other MHI, of course). Humans are pretty tough and can cope on their own with far worse problems than splitting up from a boyfriend.

:mad: I paid for private counselling a few years after I split up with my boyfriend. I was really struggling to cope with the break up and the NHS waiting list was too long. It was some of the best money I have ever spent. I wouldn't say I'm "over" it now, but I'm much, much better than I was before the counselling. If you think it might help you then go for it! How can something that helps you cope with life be "over the top"?!