1st time pregnancy - Head Vs Heart

fairy_lights

pigpen wrote: »

They were engaged 2 weeks after getting together and had a wedding booked after 6 weeks.. she had had her dress for several year prior to this..

Ummm, whaaaaaat? :eek:

Alikay

How does your fiance feel about it, OP? It really is a very personal decision. Personally, I made the lifelong commitment to my husband when we married, so planning a baby prior to that would've been wrong for us. These days, I know that some couples feel differently. Also my mum is deeply religious and would've been very upset if I'd not been married first: Her issue, I know, not mine, but it still would've affected our relationship and been an added pressure. She was heartbroken when DD1, her granddaughter, moved in with her fiance a few months before their wedding and wept with shame and disappointment which was trying for the rest of us! She did however survive the trauma, and it has now been conveniently forgotten and swept under the carpet:D.

The least relevant IMO is doing the house up before baby arrives. Obviously getting building work, plumbing and electrics done is pretty important, but babies couldn't care less about woodchip and artex - our first home, where we had our first child was a temple to the stuff!:D.

hazyjo

PS the artex may contain asbestos if you don't already know! Be careful...

alipops1986

I would get married first personally.

There really is something to be said for just the two of you on your wedding day & honeymoon! We got married in August 2013, just 2 days before our 1st Wedding Anniversary, I gave birth to our first child - our son.

susancs

I agree with those who say get married first and then have a child if at all prossible. I am also of the bring forward the wedding date, if you both want children sooner...we were engaged and got married with a church wedding and 150 guests at the reception within 8 months. We had a house that needed work, but it just got done a bit later.

honeypop

I would bring the wedding forward, then try for baby while fixing house up, or leave fixing house up for a while unless it seriously needs attention (rather than cosmetic work).

But I'm a firm believer in not waiting for the mythical 'right time' or 'enough money' to come along for things such as weddings and babies, you just never know what's round the corner to make you wish you hadn't waited so long.

beckysbobbles1

I believe you should ideally be married before starting a family.

TBagpuss

personally, I would probably bring the wedding forward and then try for a baby.
If/when you do have a child you are likely to find that your disposable income falls, you may find it easier if you haven't already got accustomed to having a bit more to spare.

As others have said, I probably wouldn't have delayed the wedingto try to get eveything 'set' with the house - you can do all that after you are married.

sheramber

we are getting married in 1 year 9 months, which we need to save for.

Will you be able to save if you have the extra expense of a baby?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I'm a traditionalist - get married first.

I'm not.

Get married first. It'll be the last time you're guaranteed to have a waist *that* small or boobs *that* high.