Gifts at a wedding?

TheSicilian

Morning all,

I get married in August, and me and my OH are very much stumped as to what to get for the usual suspects (Mum, MIL, etc etc). We're doing the usual flowers, but want a memento which won't cost the earth as this has already tapped me. We're getting a pocket watch for my son for whe he's older, BM, and FOB - all of which are personalised - and to the tune of about £10 each so that's all good.

We looked at embroidered handkerchiefs, but including P+P for a personalised job were around £20 each. Whilst it may seem I'm penny pinching (I'm on MSE, surely I should be right?) I'm just trying not to spend hundreds on gifts for everyone involved as I've already exceeded what I wanted to spend on the big day itself.

Also, who are gifts usually for, the thank-you's if you like;- we've decided on Mum, FIL, MIL, BM, our children - page boy and flower girl, the 2 who're signing the register, and a small gift for hairdresser,cake maker, photographer, and the guy who made the boquet - as all did it for free/mate rates so would like to have a personal thank you so they know it was appreciated with more than just a few words in my speech.

Thanks in advance, :beer:

Bean83

I bought personalised champagne flutes for all the ladies in my bridal party - Ebay has some great ones that can have names, roles and wedding dates painted on.

I can't remember which seller I used,but here is an example:
http://m.ebay.co.uk/itm/Personalised-hand-painted-page-boy-flower-girl-wedding-favour-tumbler-gift-glass-/171053425874?nav=SEARCH

You could then get pint glasses for the men.

Kynthia

The wedding part of the forum might have threads on this subject with ideas from others. Plus books will tell you who traditionally gets a gift, but at the end of the day you generally get someone a gift if they've done a job/role or helped in some way that they weren't appropriately paid for.

Gifts includes bouquet of flowers, bottle of favourite tipple, personalised or decorated wine glass, perfume, chocolates, etc. Silver is traditional for bridesmails/bestman/flower girl so can include necklace, earings, cufflinks, bracelet, locket, hip flask, key ring, etc. Then if someone deserves a bigger gift, perhaps parents for a large contribution then a night in a hotel, theatre trip, afternoon tea, dinner cruise on the Thames, etc.

missbiggles1

I've never heard of the bride and groom buying anybody presents apart, sometimes, from the bridesmaids.

Many of these so called traditions are pure commercial inventions.

Pollycat

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I've never heard of the bride and groom buying anybody presents apart, sometimes, from the bridesmaids.

Many of these so called traditions are pure commercial inventions.

I thought the same until I re-read the OP and noticed this:

TheSicilian wrote: »

and a small gift for hairdresser,cake maker, photographer, and the guy who made the boquet - as all did it for free/mate rates so would like to have a personal thank you so they know it was appreciated with more than just a few words in my speech.

I can understand buying a gift for someone who has given their time (and possibly goods e.g. flowers, cake ingredients) for free to say 'Thank you' but I've never heard of buying a gift for the people signing the register - sounds very OTT to me.

I think it might be traditional to buy a small gift for bridesmaids and best man (I seem to recollect being given a necklace when I was a bridesmaid aged 10 or so).
Bur father of the bride? Mum? MIL?
Really?
It sounds like the OP is paying for a big part of the wedding anyway.

missbiggles1

Pollycat wrote: »

I thought the same until I re-read the OP and noticed this:

I can understand buying a gift for someone who has given their time (and possibly goods e.g. flowers, cake ingredients) for free to say 'Thank you' but I've never heard of buying a gift for the people signing the register - sounds very OTT to me.

I think it might be traditional to buy a small gift for bridesmaids and best man (I seem to recollect being given a necklace when I was a bridesmaid aged 10 or so).
Bur father of the bride? Mum? MIL?
Really?
It sounds like the OP is paying for a big part of the wedding anyway.

Thanks, I missed that bit although I don't think it would come under wedding expenses. As you say, the rest is unnecessary - you never gave the parents presents even in the days when they paid for the whole shebang!

Kynthia

Mum and MIL are usually given a bouquet of flowers and bridesmaids/bestman are usually given a small silver gift (often a necklace or cufflinks but other things have been used). I've never heard of giving someone a gift for signing the register as it's not exactly taken much time and effort. However the thought behind the traditional gifts above is to thank people for their time and effort in your wedding, so if you've had services discounted or for free I don't think it's excessive to give them something.

pigpen

the best man and maid/matron of honour are supposed to sign the register.. that is part of their role.

check out the facebook craft group.. loads of small businesses will do a gift suitable created to your own requirements and budget.. definitely more personal.

I think flowers for the mums and just something for best man/bridesmaids is plenty.. if others have helped out they are getting an invite so being fed for free, no doubt they also offered to help for free/cheap as their wedding present to you so what are you wasting money getting them stuff for? you don't return the generosity of a present with a present!

missbiggles1

Kynthia wrote: »

Mum and MIL are usually given a bouquet of flowers and bridesmaids/bestman are usually given a small silver gift (often a necklace or cufflinks but other things have been used). I've never heard of giving someone a gift for signing the register as it's not exactly taken much time and effort. However the thought behind the traditional gifts above is to thank people for their time and effort in your wedding, so if you've had services discounted or for free I don't think it's excessive to give them something.

Since when?

pigpen

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Since when?

I recall it when I was bridesmaid in 1980.. so at least that long

Newly_retired

Goodness me! My daughter got married last year. They paid for most things themselves, but friends and some family members helped in various wAys. It was a pleasure to do so. AFAI recall, nobody received a thank you gift and nobody expected one. We were all contributing, organising, decorating, cake making, DJing etc. That was part of the occasion. No need for expectations or expense.
This is MSE, not bridezilla.