Gifts at a wedding?

Person_one

SmlSave wrote: »

I'd better ring my dad and tell him that as he's supposed to pay for the majority of the wedding I'd like a cheque :rotfl:

There was no supposed to at my wedding :eek: otherwise I would have had to invite the extended family :eek:

I'm going to tell my kids to elope

No, sorry, if you ask people to be bridesmaids, ushers etc. and you expect them to wear matching outfits, you should pay for them.

If you are happy for them to choose what they wear, then there's no such obligation, but that's not my experience of most people who want bridesmaids!

There's never an obligation to invite extended family, that's about relationships. Paying for the bridesmaid dresses and best man suit is about manners.

susancs

Any weddings I have been to and at our own, the groom thanked the bridesmaids and bride and grooms mothers and handed out gifts to the bridesmaids and bouquets to the mothers. The Bestman also received a gift often a bottle of scotch with a personalised label (ebay). Like a previous poster says I have seen personalised wine glasses for the bridesmaids like the ones below (lots local facebook sites do for £10-£15) that they use at the wedding and for any younger children e.g. flower girls a "Build a Bear" type teddy bear or bracelet with their name (ebay). A

pigpen

SmlSave wrote: »

I'm going to tell my kids to elope

I told mine if they are daft enough to get married they are paying for it themselves..

I'd elope.. or just go to the registry office and not tell anyone!

susancs

pigpen wrote: »

I told mine if they are daft enough to get married they are paying for it themselves..

I'd elope.. or just go to the registry office and not tell anyone!

I must admit I thought everone just paid for their own weddings these days, as I don't know anyone whose parents paid for their wedding. When we got married my father paid for the band as a gift and others I know had similar single gifts from parents like paying for the bridesmaid dresses, maybe the car hire etc.

pigpen

susancs wrote: »

I must admit I thought everone just paid for their own weddings these days, as I don't know anyone whose parents paid for their wedding. When we got married my father paid for the band as a gift and others I know had similar single gifts from parents like paying for the bridesmaid dresses, maybe the car hire etc.

My mother paid for the room hire for the reception.. I was happy to not have a reception if I am honest.. my dad never paid a penny.

I do know someone who got married the weekend before last and her parents paid for absolutely every single thing.

Becles

Didn't want to give flowers to the mothers as my parents were going away on holiday just after the wedding and MIL was travelling on a bus for 350 miles back home in the summer, so we didn't think a bouquet would last the journey!

Instead we bought them each a personalised photo album and said they could each pick their favourite snaps from the official photographs to fill it afterwards. They were pleased with that.

TBagpuss

Person_one wrote: »

Nearly every wedding I've been to as an adult. The only exception being the one where the reception was in an all you can eat buffet restaurant and there were no speeches, cake, first dance or any other general wedding bumf.

It might be fairly new, but its definitely the norm now.

OP I think nice flowers are enough for the parents though, no need for a gift as well. When I've been a bridesmaid the gift has mostly been a token, you don't need to go overboard, look at etsy for nice handmade but cheap stuff. For the people who've done you favours, I'd just find out what their favourite booze is and get a bottle.

Perhaps it is a regional thing? I have never been to a wedding where there have been gifts or flowers for the mother of the bride or groom, so while it may be becoming common for some I think it is a long way from being the norm.

OP, do you think that you and your partner's mothers will be expecting this? Or will be upset or disappointed if they don't receive them?

olgadapolga

Can't say that I've ever been to a wedding where flowers were given to the couple's mothers. DH and I didn't give flowers to anyone at our wedding (but as we were all 200 miles from home it would have been pointless anyway).

We paid for our wedding, but others contributed their time and expertise.

We gave silver necklaces to the bridesmaids and page boy. Had they been younger, then we'd have given them a toy or something. My sister gave my children kaleidoscopes when they were attendants at her wedding but the children got bored of them really quickly and they were consigned to a cupboard long ago (don't know why, I loved kaleidoscopes as a child).

We did get very small token gifts for those who'd contributed to the wedding effort - for example, my sister made the dresses so we got her a small something, MIL did the flowers, FIL made the cake stands but the gifts were all very small and cost a couple of pounds (but this was twenty years ago). No idea what the recipients thought of the gifts and to be honest I don't really care as it was fun to chose and give.

TheSicilian

No, of course they won't be expecting them

It's just a token gesture for the advice, and help they've given to the day.

We've decided we're going to minimalise the people getting a thankyou with more than words.

Will be best man - pocket watch (may never use but nevermind eh?) he's getting married next year, may be nice for him to have for that day.
Mum, and MIL will be getting a small personalised gift to remember the day, a trinket of some sort.
FIL will get a cigar, along with the BM.
Our LO's will get a smallk gift for their contribution toward the day, and so they don't feel left out.
No bridesmaids to worry about!!

Abbafan1972

hazyjo wrote: »

Thought it was pretty bog standard to give flowers to mums.


Def wouldn't give gifts to those signing the register. If you want them to feel special, you could always make sure the photographer gets a pic of them signing and give them a framed pic. Bit awkward though if it's not the sort of thing they'd display lol!


Jx

I thought it was only the Bride and Groom that signed the register?