Is it just me??

Top_Girl

Met mine through distance learning. After over two years, we finally met up for that drink and we're very happy now


I had absolutely given up on men though, literally the week before, having been on a date with a man who did a drum roll on the table with his hands every time he laughed at something I said. Friend of a friend. Friend is only just forgiven.

Lets_say

Person_one wrote: »

I'm afraid I don't understand your sentence about 'if I see photos online it's because he's already dating someone', what does that mean?

Seems pretty straightforward to me. If I'm asked on a date, I'd presume there may be others asked on dates. But if I'm warned I might see photos online, I'd assume bedroom activities are taking place, and I would not be interested.

Person_one

Lets_say wrote: »

Seems pretty straightforward to me. If I'm asked on a date, I'd presume there may be others asked on dates. But if I'm warned I might see photos online, I'd assume bedroom activities are taking place, and I would not be interested.

No, sorry, no idea. Who warns you? What photos? Do you mean somebody you meet online will tell you that they have photos on Facebook of them with other women? If so, is that really a common problem?

mariposa687

If you find out where they are hiding, let me know! I'm working on being ok with being single but struggling to be honest. I sadly don't have have any single friends left either, I'd never thought that would happen to be me but there you are. Also, I really really dislike online dating but it seems that if I'm ever going to meet someone else I may have to try it.

miss_independent

My Best Friend and I have been having this conversation tonight! I've been single for a year and a half after a heartbreak and I'm finally in the place where I feel I want a relationship again but I've no idea where to find one. Where are all the 25-35 year old single men hiding?

I've a really busy life with work, hobbies, volunteering etc and I rarely come across any single men. When I do and they are half decent, they seem terrified of me. In the past year there has only really been one guy I liked and would have happily went on a date with him, had he been interested in me. The more we got to know each other (through temp work) the weirder he got around me - he wouldn't even look directly at me when I would talk to him, ask him how his job search was going or about his new puppy. He'd just stare at the floor or the table. I was very nice and not overbearing/intrusive but he would just act weird around me. He was lovely to everyone else! Eventually, I just stopped saying much to him beyond a pleasant Hi and Bye as I seemed to be making him feel uncomfortable and he seemed happier at lunches with the older members of staff. I didn't want to make him unhappy at work but, for the life of me, I can't fathom why he was so off with me.

Don't get me wrong, like OP, I'm happy being single. I can take care of myself and have a full life and I'm not desperate. I just remember how great a relationship can be. I always wanted to settle down with a great guy and have kids of my own. I don't need a relationship per se, but I'd like one.

hollydays

Was it an eye contact thing? Some people don't like too much direct eyeb contact.

onomatopoeia99

miss_independent wrote: »

In the past year there has only really been one guy I liked and would have happily went on a date with him, had he been interested in me.

Did you ask him for a date? If not, why not?

miss_independent

hollydays wrote: »

Was it an eye contact thing? Some people don't like too much direct eyeb contact.

Yes, it was definitely a problem with eye contact on his behalf. He was fine the first few times we met (even came and sat beside me for our Christmas meal and party) and seemed really lovely. Then all of a sudden he just stopped making ANY eye contact with me at all. So given that we were working together (as cover SEN teachers), it was quite awkward.

I'd ask him a question (work related usually) and he'd answer the person next to me - as in look at them and answer the question I'd asked. The first time it happened I thought he'd just not realised it was me that had asked but then it was happening repeatedly. A couple of times it made the person he answered instead of me feel quite uncomfortable! If it was just the two of us alone he would talk to the table, floor or the palm of his hands rather than look at me.

Now obviously, being an SEN teacher, I am sensitive to "needs". So if someone is uncomfortable with eye contact in general, that is fine and I can work around it. But with him, he was fine with everyone else, it was just me he wouldn't look at me.

He'd also pop his head round the door into the office in the morning or evening and say "Hi/Bye John and Jane!" and everytime I was the only person he didn't acknowledge. And again, colleagues would say something like "Miss I is here, she's just sat there, perhaps you didn't see her?" and he'd just mumble, "Oh, yes. Hi."

In the end I just felt like there was something about me that either he didn't like or that made him uncomfortable and I just started keeping out of his way, not saying anything directly to him etc. And, to keep on topic, obviously any attraction I'd felt when we first met completely vanished quite quickly!

loveabargain13

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

I don't know what the age bracket is, but I would be found in an Italian evening class, which is nothing to do with my job and everything to do with the fact I love Italy.

Whether I qualify as a "decent man" per the OP's question is another question entirely! :rotfl:

I am taking Spanish classes, I am 32, but all the men are married and much older than me.

missbiggles1

duchy wrote: »

No one I know met theirs down the pub .....some of them don't even drink arguably better choices are made when the beer goggles are off too lol

Statistically, most people meet their partners through work.