advice on what is a reasonable amount to charge for keep now son has finished uni

silvercar

Person_one wrote: »

The thing about charging market rent, is that if a young person moves out and pays market rent at their own place, there are added advantages in terms of privacy and freedom that they won't get at home. Living at home is not comparable to living away, so I don't see why the calculation should be based on that.

Also seems odd to charge a certain percentage of the home that the parents have chosen to live in. Hardly the child's fault that parents have a mortgage of X or heating bills of Y.

HappyMJ

Peter333 wrote: »

So I don't buy into this 'charge them what they would pay if they lived away from home' and 'charge them the market rent' suggestion. I mean why would anyone do that? :huh: Especially when they're still in their teens!

If someone is charging their adult child a lot, to subsidise the bills and rent/mortgage, then how on earth are they going to cope when said adult child leaves home?

Charging them 'the market rent' is not treating them like family; its treating them like a lodger.

If they're in their teens and have left school and got themselves a job then £30 a week is fair enough. They'd only be earning minimum wage with no education and £30 a week from what at 18-20 would be minimum wage of £5.30/hour that would be a significant portion of it after travel costs have been taken into account. At 23 though that is not young they are clearly not in their teens. They're an adult earning a very good wage. They've been to university, have a job and by now should be bringing some very good money in. Most probably earning more than their parents so should therefore be paying their fair share. OP states they'll be earning £26,000 that's a pretty good wage and to pay just £30 a week from that to me is just wrong.

gettingtheresometime

I will add son's washing to make up a full load but I don't do his otherwise.

He also does his own ironing and will also do mine at the same time.

He has what we eat otherwise he buys his own.

michelle09

My parents asked for just under market rate when I got my first full time job. Apparently their aim was to save it all and give it back to me as a deposit when I bought a house. Unfortunately they didn't tell me any of this and so I moved out because it didn't cost that much more to move right next to work!

I would charge my something towards bills - not to subsidise our household, but to cover what they used. But I would expect proof that they were saving the equivalent of market rate rent towards a house deposit. If they didn't save it, I would charge them market rate and save it for them.

pigpen

silvercar wrote: »

Student loans/ grants for students living in the family home are paid a lower level to those studying away, reflecting the ongoing contribution the government expects parent(s) to make to their adult children.

he doesn't get anything.. not a penny... no grants or loans or bursaries.. nothing.. and it sure as heck isn't related to my income.. we get next to nothing.

silvercar

HappyMJ wrote: »

If they're in their teens and have left school and got themselves a job then £30 a week is fair enough. They'd only be earning minimum wage with no education and £30 a week from what at 18-20 would be minimum wage of £5.30/hour that would be a significant portion of it after travel costs have been taken into account. At 23 though that is not young they are clearly not in their teens. They're an adult earning a very good wage. They've been to university, have a job and by now should be bringing some very good money in. Most probably earning more than their parents so should therefore be paying their fair share. OP states they'll be earning £26,000 that's a pretty good wage and to pay just £30 a week from that to me is just wrong.

We all have our views on what is wrong. For me to take money off my children in excess of the extra it actually costs me to have them living in the family home would be wrong.

silvercar

pigpen wrote: »

he doesn't get anything.. not a penny... no grants or loans or bursaries.. nothing.. and it sure as heck isn't related to my income.. we get next to nothing.

I assume then that he is in further education rather than advanced/ higher/ university where he would normally be entitled to student finance.

It is hard, particularly as you want to encourage him to get qualifications to help him in the future. Doubly hard if your income is tight. Not much you can do other than encourage him to get a part time job that doesn't interfere with his studies, to the extent he can fund himself for social/ transport/ clothes etc.

pigpen

silvercar wrote: »

I assume then that he is in further education rather than advanced/ higher/ university where he would normally be entitled to student finance.

It is hard, particularly as you want to encourage him to get qualifications to help him in the future. Doubly hard if your income is tight. Not much you can do other than encourage him to get a part time job that doesn't interfere with his studies, to the extent he can fund himself for social/ transport/ clothes etc.

It's a foundation degree based at the college, still a degree he is working towards so no different to my daughter doing a degree at the university.. they are supposedly the same level.

Fortunately he is happy to walk and doesn't do going out or covet clothes.. he is happy with the odd bag of Jelly babies!

Apparently had his birthday not been 'mid academic year' he could have applied for the bursary and probably a grant too so he is totally screwed because he was born in January. And they have enrolled him on the next course for the next 2 years .. and I'm bankrupt already! I'm going with him to the meeting next week to see if we can sort out finances for him because we cant continue like this.

It just seems really unfair that anyone of his age is being forced out of education yet being told they can't have any support to improve their job prospects for the future. Jobs here are very few and very far between.. even bar work and takeaway jobs are scarce.

themull1

Peter333 wrote: »

I don't think you have annoyed anyone! So don't think that.

As I said, there is no right or wrong answer.

I do think that you should only be charging any extras he is costing though, as I think young people (under 25) living at home, should be enjoying life, partying, going on holiday with mates, and spending on frivolous stuff; not subsidising their parents rent or mortgage, and household bills. So I think 25 to 35 pounds a week is more than adequate for most.

So I don't buy into this 'charge them what they would pay if they lived away from home' and 'charge them the market rent' suggestion. I mean why would anyone do that? :huh: Especially when they're still in their teens!

If someone is charging their adult child a lot, to subsidise the bills and rent/mortgage, then how on earth are they going to cope when said adult child leaves home?

Charging them 'the market rent' is not treating them like family; its treating them like a lodger.

And how is the child going to ever stand on their own two feet charging them £25 a week and letting them waste the rest partying? If the 'child' is 23, earning £1600 net a month, its not unreasonable to ask for £200 a month.

Thirty years ago when i got my job at 16, i was on £220 a month, and gave my parents £80 a month. I didn't get let off with it if i went on holiday, i still had to pay £80, i wanted to do it. It helped me with budgeting etc when i was older.

SmlSave

I think these 'conversations' are interesting, all the different points of view.

I paid 10% of my wage to my parents, straight from my very first paper round. Totally moddycoddled at home.

DH paid the average cost of rent at the time, extra if he wanted washing/ironing done.

We both agree that we wasted sooo much money on stuff that would have been useful for a deposit etc. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

I know that we'll take a percentage from our kids when they start working. Hopefully we won't need it and it can go into savings for wedding/house for them.