advice on what is a reasonable amount to charge for keep now son has finished uni

treebee67

Hi I'm new to the forum, so apologies if this has been asked before. I did find a old thread on here, but as times have moved on, I would like to know the current state of play. My son is 23 and just finished Uni he is fortunately starting full time work this month and we have been discussing this matter of paying keep. Tbh in the past he could have put a hefty deposit on a house with all the money he has spent over the past few years and it was a struggle to get him to pay £30 a month to us!!
However it seems 10% of their gross wage seems to be what others have been saying? He will be earning £26K a year to start with, so with his tax and insurance and his student loan payment, he reckons his take home will be in the region of £1600 a month.
he then has other outgoings like car, mobile ins etc. So we were thinking of asking £200 a month so just under the 10% and equating to £50 a week, we want to be reasonable, he is not in every night for food, but is catered for, I do his washing when he decides to give it too me as he gave up doing his own, electric, water and broadband costs would be a big chunk of his contributions.
Im not saying we are desperate for the money but they need to know the values and true costs, ive tried to instil in them, plus I used to save some of their child benefit money and put it away for them in a Isa which they were able to buy their first cars with when they matured, which I would probably aim to save half of what they pay me anyway, ( I have 2 boys, the younger pays £20 a month at present as he is still at uni and works part time with a variable wage)
so what are everyones thoughts on the matter please?

Person_one

There have been about a million threads on this topic. Everybody has their own idea, from 0 to full market rent for a bedroom in a shared house. £200 sounds fine if that's what will help you cover his costs and it still leaves him plenty to save.

I think nearly everybody will agree that you should stop doing his washing for him though!

HappyMJ

treebee67 wrote: »

Hi I'm new to the forum, so apologies if this has been asked before. I did find a old thread on here, but as times have moved on, I would like to know the current state of play. My son is 23 and just finished Uni he is fortunately starting full time work this month and we have been discussing this matter of paying keep. Tbh in the past he could have put a hefty deposit on a house with all the money he has spent over the past few years and it was a struggle to get him to pay £30 a month to us!!
However it seems 10% of their gross wage seems to be what others have been saying? He will be earning £26K a year to start with, so with his tax and insurance and his student loan payment, he reckons his take home will be in the region of £1600 a month.
he then has other outgoings like car, mobile ins etc. So we were thinking of asking £200 a month so just under the 10% and equating to £50 a week, we want to be reasonable, he is not in every night for food, but is catered for, I do his washing when he decides to give it too me as he gave up doing his own, electric, water and broadband costs would be a big chunk of his contributions.
Im not saying we are desperate for the money but they need to know the values and true costs, ive tried to instil in them, plus I used to save some of their child benefit money and put it away for them in a Isa which they were able to buy their first cars with when they matured, which I would probably aim to save half of what they pay me anyway, ( I have 2 boys, the younger pays £20 a month at present as he is still at uni and works part time with a variable wage)
so what are everyones thoughts on the matter please?

Don't do his washing. He might have given up doing his own but eventually he will run out of clean clothing and he will have to do his own washing.

I am of the opinion that an adult child should be paying market rates for a room in your property no matter what they earn whether they are out of work earning nothing or working full time and earning thousands. Around here that would be £260 per month. I say £260 per month as that is the LHA rate for a room in a shared home in my area. On top of that I would expect a fair contribution towards groceries the figure that you spend each week divided by the number of people living in the house and payment towards any calls they make on the landline phone.

justme111

Suppose it depends on whether you mind him depending on you in life and living with you as one household or
not.
£200 include board then - you intending to charge him so little (£200 would just cover board and utilities and be a bargain at that so basically accommodation is for free) tells me you do not mind him being subsidised part of family rather than fully functioning adult. In any case you can say £200 now with a review at Christmas so that everybody has time to adjust to his new working status

elsien

I was paying £40 pw on a lower wage 15 odd years ago. And still thought I was onto a good thing.
Depends a) what you can afford and b) whether you think he needs to learn a life lesson.
What has he suggested he thinks he should be paying and is it realistic?

silvercar

We really have had this conversation so many times on here.

For the umpteenth time. My view is, unless the parent(s) need the money to keep their heads above water, it is wrong to charge your children for living with you.

PeacefulWaters

I pay £105 a week for a large bedroom in the north. All bills and food included.

Charge him similar but save half of it for him.

warby68

silvercar wrote: »

We really have had this conversation so many times on here.

For the umpteenth time. My view is, unless the parent(s) need the money to keep their heads above water, it is wrong to charge your children for living with you.

Do a lot of people feel this way?

I'm really surprised if this is the case.

My two are only a couple of years away from earning (hopefully!). We probably won't 'need' their money but I wouldn't dream of letting a non full time studying adult live for free. My plan at the moment would be to not charge rent (that's the family home perk and should also enable saving to take place) but certainly to charge board

AnnieO1234

I'm in my thirties so not that long ago. I did my own laundry and food, but wasn't charged board.

Xxx

Person_one

warby68 wrote: »

Do a lot of people feel this way?

Just put 'child home pay keep' or similar into the search box, the subject pops up every couple of months, with all the same responses every time.

Georgiegirl256

silvercar wrote: »

We really have had this conversation so many times on here.

For the umpteenth time. My view is, unless the parent(s) need the money to keep their heads above water, it is wrong to charge your children for living with you.

Agreed to both points. Yes, this subject has been done to death on here, and I'm sure a search would have thrown up more threads, as it was only done a few weeks/month or so ago.

Anyhow, my parents took the same view as you and didn't charge me any lodge. You'll get people saying "they're doing you a disservice, how can you possibly go on to be a fully functioning adult with any budgeting skills whatsoever?!" :eek: Well you can install those skills without having to take any money. If you need to take some lodge to contribute to the family home then that's a totally different story altogether of course.

I managed to leave home with budgeting skills and to know the value of money. I have savings in the bank, don't have any debt (apart from a mortgage) and manage to budget, save and shop well....all thanks to my Mam's excellent saving skills which she has passed on to me.

Washing you could make him do his own? But again, it's easier and more cost effective to put it all in together. If one load is going on and there's room to out his clothes in too, then surely that's more cost effective than running the machine twice? Again, the problems come when people aren't equipped with any basic skills when they leave home. So do make sure he knows at least how to use a washing machine etc. although having been at Uni, I'm sure he already does.