advice on what is a reasonable amount to charge for keep now son has finished uni

warby68

Person_one wrote: »

Just put 'child home pay keep' or similar into the search box, the subject pops up every couple of months, with all the same responses every time.

Thanks

I might have a look - like I said, a real eye opener to me if many don't believe in an adult paying their way

HappyMJ

warby68 wrote: »

Do a lot of people feel this way?

I'm really surprised if this is the case.

My two are only a couple of years away from earning (hopefully!). We probably won't 'need' their money but I wouldn't dream of letting a non full time studying adult live for free. My plan at the moment would be to not charge rent (that's the family home perk and should also enable saving to take place) but certainly to charge board

Yes they do. Friend of mine has a daughter she's 21 doesn't work lives in the family home for free and is having a baby. There's no point moving out of home as that would cost her money. Money that she does not have. The family home doesn't have space for another child but my friend has the same opinion that a parent should never charge an adult child to stay in the family home. My friend works very hard in a job earning minimum wage supporting his adult child, her partner and their baby. He's 5 years away from retirement and has saved nothing as every penny goes towards his only child. He can afford to support his child without going into debt so therefore feels that charging his daughter for board would be inherently wrong.

duchy

warby68 wrote: »

Thanks

I might have a look - like I said, a real eye opener to me if many don't believe in an adult paying their way

I think many is an exaggeration- certainly *some* do but there's also some who think that by doing so you are doing your "child" no favours by denying them the chance to learn to budget and realize that as adults they should be contribting . Of course some of this is down to parents who simply want to try to keep their "children" living at home rather than see them fly the nest.

If you don't "need" the income then a solution can be to not tell the child but save all or part of it - and give it to them when they finally leave to set up their own home or have already saved a house deposit etc.

Ultimately most kids get a better deal paying rent at home than they will living elsewhere and paying market rate

elsien

In my case, parent couldn't afford for me to be at home as an earning adult without me paying my way. It's circumstances as well as viewpoint, but I certainly didn't begrudge having to pay because I couldn't afford to rent somewhere on my own at that point.

Pollycat

HappyMJ wrote: »

Don't do his washing. He might have given up doing his own but eventually he will run out of clean clothing and he will have to do his own washing.

I am of the opinion that an adult child should be paying market rates for a room in your property no matter what they earn whether they are out of work earning nothing or working full time and earning thousands. Around here that would be £260 per month. I say £260 per month as that is the LHA rate for a room in a shared home in my area. On top of that I would expect a fair contribution towards groceries the figure that you spend each week divided by the number of people living in the house and payment towards any calls they make on the landline phone.

Pay market rates even if they are unemployed? :eek:

I agree about not doing his washing. Of course he's stopped doing it as he has a mug (sorry, I meant Mum ) to do it for him.

Guest101

He's 23, earning decent money, I'd charge around £200-250 and in 6 months offer it back as a deposit and first months rent for him.

HappyMJ

Pollycat wrote: »

Pay market rates even if they are unemployed? :eek:

I agree about not doing his washing. Of course he's stopped doing it as he has a mug (sorry, I meant Mum ) to do it for him.

Yes that's my opinion every penny of JSA should be paid to the household pot to cover living expenses. Anyone living by themselves and claiming JSA has to use every penny of the tiny amount that JSA pays to pay the bills in the house they live in. Why should an adult child living at home be free to spend the JSA money on....what exactly....socializing?

If having no money is not a kick up the behind to get out of the house and get a job I'm not sure what else would work.

Mojisola

treebee67 wrote: »

My son is 23 and just finished Uni he is fortunately starting full time work this month and we have been discussing this matter of paying keep.

Tbh in the past he could have put a hefty deposit on a house with all the money he has spent over the past few years and it was a struggle to get him to pay £30 a month to us!!

However it seems 10% of their gross wage seems to be what others have been saying? He will be earning £26K a year to start with, so with his tax and insurance and his student loan payment, he reckons his take home will be in the region of £1600 a month.

Are those the same friends who parents always allowed them to drink/stay out late/go to parties/not help with any household jobs? :rotfl:

At the very least he should be covering all the extra costs incurred by him living at home. If he then starts saving so that he can get his own place, be content with that.

If he won't save, charge him extra and save it for him otherwise you'll have him (and maybe a significant other) living with you for years.

We treated our adult kids at home as adults, not big children. They didn't get to have us as servants just because they were living with Mum and Dad.

If I was doing a load of washing, I'd put theirs in as well (as long as it was in the washing basket). If they needed something washing, they would make a full load with our dirty stuff.

They were expected to do their share of household/garden chores, including cooking for the family.

PasturesNew

HappyMJ wrote: »

Yes that's my opinion every penny of JSA should be paid to the household pot to cover living expenses. Anyone living by themselves and claiming JSA has to use every penny of the tiny amount that JSA pays to pay the bills in the house they live in. Why should an adult child living at home be free to spend the JSA money on....what exactly....socializing?

If having no money is not a kick up the behind to get out of the house and get a job I'm not sure what else would work.

Or, for those not up for "tough love", take all their JSA off them and give them £22/week back - that's what residents of care homes get when they're funded. If you're not paying your way in a care home, you get board/lodgings and £22/week which is to pay for your extras, haircuts, any trips out, taxis to the Hospital/wherever and clothes.

Peter333

There is no 'one size fits all' and it does vary largely.

Have to say I am not fond of either end of the spectrum; charging your working adult child nothing to live at home is wrong, and so is charging them a lot.

I do know one woman (separated from male partner 13 years ago,) who has two sons who are only a year apart in age. One stayed at collage an extra year to re-do average A level results, and they both left college together aged 18 and 19 (in June 2014.)

So she went from having around £500 a month child tax credits to having NOTHING. (Because the boys became adults!)

They both got jobs quite quickly, and she instantly started charging them £400 a month EACH for board and lodgings. I think their pay was only about £700!

It's OK to take something from your young adult child, if they are working, and they really should be contributing, and I don't think you do anyone any favours; least of all them, if you don't charge something.

But to take a large amount off them to replace tax credits and benefits is just wrong IMO.

The 2 lads we know who live with their mother who charges them £400 a month each, are both leaving home later this year, and she is kicking off big time; saying they don't love her, they don't care about her, they want her to starve etc etc... Real emotional blackmail! When they DO go, she is royally screwed.

The younger lad is going into the services, and the other lad is moving in with his girlfriend into a little flat, and he has figured out that he is not going to be any worse off financially. The only difference is that he will not have a domineering mother emotionally blackmailing him, and screwing him out of over half of his earnings, so that she doesn't have to get a job.

Me personally... I don't see any need to charge any more than £25-30 a week. In my opinion there is no way that a young adult child would cost any more than that to keep. As I said, it's pretty bad if you are taking say 400 hundred a month purely to subsidise your rent or mortgage and your living costs. Your young adult child should be enjoying their life in their late teens and early twenties; not subsidising your household bills!

Regarding the issue about doing his washing... I don't agree. Seems silly to not do it all together. Surely that's more cost effective? He can take a turn doing all of it though; as well as helping with the household chores sometimes.