Stair Gate on LO's bedroom door?

splishsplash

cookiecrumbs wrote: »

Co-sleeping may well work well for some but it is not something I want to get into personally. If she was only waking up occasionally and there was something obvious wrong - ie. she had had a bad dream or she was ill then of course I would go to her and comfort her, I am not a monster!!

She is waking up for a long period of time, EVERY night. There is nothing physically wrong with her (I even took her to the doctor to confirm this.) In my opinion - and I obviously know her best - she is just doing it for attention.

It was on the advice of a member of our local paediatric heath team that we left her to cry it out last time - it was their opinion that by getting what she wanted every night - our attention - she continued to do it because she knew what the end result was going to be. It only took a few nights for it to stop completely and she showed absolutely no ill effects the following day - in fact sometimes she didn't even remember it. It was hard, not least because I was pregnant and hormonal and listening to her cry was horrible. But it worked.

I'm not after criticism of my parenting choices - as mothers surely you must realise what works for someone doesn't necessarily work for someone else, you do what you can to get by.

No criticism intended, OP. You asked for suggestions, I offered mine. Please don't feel you need to justify or explain your parenting choices. As you say, we all do what we can to get by and there is no one right or wrong way to do things.

suki1964

Both my sister and I suffered night terrors at this age

Could it be a possibility?

pigpen

If she is climbing out you have to put her in a bed for her own safety.. she could tip the cot and hurt herself badly.

You then have 2 options..

a gate which she will be able to climb over.. if she can get out of the cot she can get over a gate.. again potential accidents.. and possibly lots of screaming at the gate and banging of doors.

Allowing her to come find you to be reassured she is ok, you are still there and she is not locked out of the room with mummy and daddy and baby.. you're all together and she is shut away.. all she wants is loving!

I'm fine with co-sleeping though I realise many people aren't so you could bung her in with you for snuggles or keep taking her back to her room with a hug and reassurance you are not going to disappear.

She could well be waking herself up flailing about in her cot and hitting her arms on the sides..my 2 year old has been in a bed for ages because she would do this.

splishsplash

Jagraf wrote: »

i don't get this sorry, but then mine are grown ups now. How fashions change over time.

Mine are grown ups now too. We didn't co-sleep per se, but the few times they needed to get back into good sleeping patterns, it seemed to help.

Jagraf

splishsplash wrote: »

Mine are grown ups now too. We didn't co-sleep per se, but the few times they needed to get back into good sleeping patterns, it seemed to help.

So is this just occasionally then - like if they have nightmares - I did do that I suppose but it was rare.

pickledonionspaceraider

cookiecrumbs wrote: »

Co-sleeping may well work well for some but it is not something I want to get into personally. If she was only waking up occasionally and there was something obvious wrong - ie. she had had a bad dream or she was ill then of course I would go to her and comfort her, I am not a monster!!

She is waking up for a long period of time, EVERY night. There is nothing physically wrong with her (I even took her to the doctor to confirm this.) In my opinion - and I obviously know her best - she is just doing it for attention.

It was on the advice of a member of our local paediatric heath team that we left her to cry it out last time - it was their opinion that by getting what she wanted every night - our attention - she continued to do it because she knew what the end result was going to be. It only took a few nights for it to stop completely and she showed absolutely no ill effects the following day - in fact sometimes she didn't even remember it. It was hard, not least because I was pregnant and hormonal and listening to her cry was horrible. But it worked.

I'm not after criticism of my parenting choices - as mothers surely you must realise what works for someone doesn't necessarily work for someone else, you do what you can to get by.

You are totally right, you do what you can to get by. all we can do is the best we can at the time

You know something, I don't care what anyone thinks, I would get the stair gate. In the mindset that this needs to be nipped in the bud now - as you know there is nothing actually wrong with her.

You deserve some time to yourself in the evening without constantly having to pander to an attention seeking child. That sounds mean, it wasn't meant to.

Armchair23

My son used to climb out of his cot before he could even walk. We could hear the thud of him hitting the floor at around 11-12 months.

We put stair gates across his room door and the stairs, but if they can climb out of a cot they can climb over stairgates. So you end up just trying to work out what provides the safest option for your kid as a previous poster said.

I think even a small illness can disrupt a well established sleep pattern in kids and adults alike

But it does just strike me that with a newish baby in the house this might well play a part in what's happening.

Maybe you could suggest that as she's now 3 and such a big girl she should have a bed of her own and incidentally this is something the baby can't have it's special for her as she's such a big girl. Maybe she could she choose a duvet cover and see that there are special treats and benefits to be the oldest child and not the baby.

Just my thoughts, but you should go with what you as a family feel you can all manage.

Much sympathy for the lack of sleep and ill health, it isn't easy being a parent sometimes !

janed9388

Armchair23 wrote: »

Maybe you could suggest that as she's now 3 and such a big girl she should have a bed of her own and incidentally this is something the baby can't have it's special for her as she's such a big girl. Maybe she could she choose a duvet cover and see that there are special treats and benefits to be the oldest child and not the baby.

agree with this, it is what we did with our 2.5 year old when her little brother arrived last year and it seemed to work.

We did however have stair gate on her room (and at the top of the stairs) until just a few weeks ago as we were convinced she would be constantly getting out of bed - this seems to have backfired a bit as now she won't get out of bed even when she should / could unless we go and get her (ie to go to the loo in the night or in the mornings at getting up time!)

dcoke

but even if the stair gate is on there is nothing stopping her shouting and screaming for you,

Spendless

At nearly 3 isn't she likely to leg it over the stair-gate? My eldest did at not much older. Stair gate was at bottom of stairs due to his baby sister. One night I found him in the kitchen making himself a sandwich!