Pet hate - being asked for a title

theoretica

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Emails are more informal but you certainly wouldn't write that in a business letter or address an envelope that way because it's totally incorrect.

Incorrect can change. Mrs John Smith was once correct but now isn't usually used, and if we are changing things the need for a couple of letters before a name on an envelope is a fairly minor change. Once the presence of such titles did have a meaning in social class, but now everyone gets them they don't have that meaning.

Mojisola

missbiggles1 wrote: »

It isn't really strange because in English we have the term Ms which isn't an equivalent option in any European language I'm familiar with.

But women only started to use Ms because 'Miss' persisted in Britain.

If we had started using Mrs for all adult women, there never would have been a need for a 'marital status neutral' alternative.

Years ago, a male friend was very strong in his stance that 'all this Ms thing is a feminist fuss - what's wrong with using Miss' until he got a couple of letters from me addressed to Master John Smith.

He got quite upset - 'Master is for a child, not a grown-up!'

I said 'Miss is also for a child - why do you keep using it when you're writing to me?'

Mrs_Ryan

Bobcrowther wrote: »

You know what's another indication of marital status? Engagement rings!
Let's start a thread about those and how misogynistic and demeaning they are, in fact let's start a petition for parliament to discuss. Let's get them banned!
How DARE people look at your finger and KNOW that you're due to be wedded.
Oh the misogyny in this awful patriarchal society we live in.

I wear a small gold and diamond solitaire on my engagement finger and I am neither married nor engaged I only got it back recently from the jeweller's and before that I wore the silver Claddagh ring OH got me on there.
If OH needs to provide a phone number, he gives mine due to his mental health issues. It really annoys me when people ring for him and when I answer they say 'Is that Mrs X' rather than simply asking to speak to Mr X, to which I explain who I am and that they need to deal with me as OH is unable to speak on the telephone. If I'm addressed as Mrs X I will correctly say no, I'm Miss Y then explain I am Mr X's girlfriend and that I will be dealing with things for him with his permission.
When I changed my name I tried using Ms for a while and discovered I mostly got called Mrs which annoyed me so much I had to revert to Miss to assert my unmarried status.

Person_one

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Emails are more informal but you certainly wouldn't write that in a business letter or address an envelope that way because it's totally incorrect.

Maybe 'correct' will just have to change, it used to be considered totally incorrect to address a married woman by her 'maiden' name, after all, addressing something to 'Mr & Mr Lastname' used to be totally incorrect. Times change, conventions have to be adapted to accommodate advances in the way we view things.

Ames

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Emails are more informal but you certainly wouldn't write that in a business letter or address an envelope that way because it's totally incorrect.

According to advice in Writing Magazine a few months ago, Dear First Lastname is the correct way to address someone in a business letter such as first approach to an agent.

Pollycat

avogadro wrote: »

I believe the splitting of Miss and Mrs according to marital status occurred way back in the 17th century. Most countries have let the former title fall into disuse and now address all adult females as Mrs, but for some reason this hasn't happened here.

I avoid using titles unless the addressee has indicated a preference. When I email a company for example, and I have a contact name, I will simply write Dear Jane Smith/John Smith. The same when addressing envelopes.

It seems it isn't only us Brits having issues
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2012/feb/24/madame-mademoiselle-sex-french-women

GlasweJen

I've just realised when I'm married we'll become "Dr and Rev Newsurname", call centre operators everywhere are going to assume we're a couple of gay men!

Peter333

GlasweJen wrote: »

I've just realised when I'm married we'll become "Dr and Rev Newsurname", call centre operators everywhere are going to assume we're a couple of gay men!

:rotfl::rotfl::T

I feel a sitcom idea coming on!

System

Pollycat wrote: »

It seems it isn't only us Brits having issues
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2012/feb/24/madame-mademoiselle-sex-french-women

That is interesting. And the French have a slightly trickier time than us due to their language having grammatical gender, which English of course does not.

southoftheriver

I use Doctor as my professional title which makes it easier.