Pet hate - being asked for a title

Mojisola

Bobcrowther wrote: »

You know what's another indication of marital status? Engagement rings!
Let's start a thread about those and how misogynistic and demeaning they are, in fact let's start a petition for parliament to discuss. Let's get them banned!
How DARE people look at your finger and KNOW that you're due to be wedded.
Oh the misogyny in this awful patriarchal society we live in.

I didn't have an engagement ring and I haven't worn my wedding ring since the day of the ceremony.

There's no law that says that women have to be marked as 'taken'.

Georgiegirl256

Bobcrowther wrote: »

You know what's another indication of marital status? Engagement rings!
Let's start a thread about those and how misogynistic and demeaning they are, in fact let's start a petition for parliament to discuss. Let's get them banned!
How DARE people look at your finger and KNOW that you're due to be wedded.
Oh the misogyny in this awful patriarchal society we live in.

I don't wear my wedding ring. Have worn it a handful of times since the ceremony. I don't like jewellery,so don't know why I got one tbh?

I don't wear my engagement ring (doesn't fit me now anyhow) and never really did from the day I got it.

I would have actually preferred an engagement present (if my husband wanted to get me something!) and would have loved another camera instead! :rotfl:

Georgiegirl256

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

It's not up to other people to have opinions on whatever title one decides to use.

As far as I'm concerned - I don't really see any thought needed to be put into the title I've used for years now (ie Ms). Obviously I'm a person in my own right and it was just quite obvious that I am Ms My Own Surname whatever my marital status. Why would I want to go to the trouble of explaining to everyone "Yes I know my title is Mrs and my surname is His Surname - but I'm still the same person that was previously called Miss My Own Surname"? How would anyone know that I was the person who did x/y/z otherwise unless I went through a long-winded "But my name used to be..." explanation and pointing out I'm still an independently-minded person despite having plonked the title "Mrs" in front of my name.

It takes 5 seconds flat to think "Putting Mrs in front of my name implies I'm less of a person than my husband" if I had one.

It's simply an indicator that you are married, nothing more nothing less.

It doesn't mean you're a less of a person, less fan independently minded person....if it would make you feel like that, then that is your own insecurities shining through. Most people don't look that deeply into it tbh.

missbiggles1

theoretica wrote: »

For me Ms is slightly loaded and means a woman who uses it has probaby thought about the issue. But Mrs in younger women and Miss in older also have similar loading for me. Only one choice would make things simpler, but would take some time for everyone to accept.

I'm sure that's true and no bad thing.:)

missbiggles1

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

It's simply an indicator that you are married, nothing more nothing less.

It doesn't mean you're a less of a person, less fan independently minded person....if it would make you feel like that, then that is your own insecurities shining through. Most people don't look that deeply into it tbh.

And that seems to me to be the issue. I don't think anybody should make decisions about anything without giving things a reasonable degree of thought.

pigpen

Bobcrowther wrote: »

You know what's another indication of marital status? Engagement rings!
Let's start a thread about those and how misogynistic and demeaning they are, in fact let's start a petition for parliament to discuss. Let's get them banned!
How DARE people look at your finger and KNOW that you're due to be wedded.
Oh the misogyny in this awful patriarchal society we live in.

Actually I wear a ring which looks very much like an engagement ring but is in fact not. I bought it myself because I had spent so many years wearing a ring on that finger it felt too naked to be without it and it is inappropriate to wear my old engagement/wedding rings when I'm with OH

I don't actually give a toss what impression that makes or what anyone else thinks about it... And their opinion would be utterly wrong.

So even an 'engagement ring' can be misleading

GlasweJen

I started using Ms (pronounced Mizz) at university. Now I don't provide a title unless asked and then request Reverend which causes a few raised eye brows but I am an ordained minister of the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. As far as I'm concerned my marital status is not relevant to my gas supplier.

OH was quite surprised to receive a letter addressed to Rev and Mrs [my surname] regarding our direct debit for gas.

Dill

Mojisola wrote: »

It's such a shame that Ms has been around for so many years and yet people still treat it as if it's weird.

It would be great if there was just one title for women, as there is for men. I'm just not convinced we've all agreed yet on what it should be :rotfl:

Ms sounds strange and has feminist connotations which not every woman wants to be associated with, Miss sounds a bit quaint and old-fashioned and Mrs is generally only used if you're married.

We could take a leaf out of the Quakers book and dispose of titles altogether. However people who have "earned" a title (Doctor, Professor, Sir..) may take issue with that!

missbiggles1

Dill wrote: »

It would be great if there was just one title for women, as there is for men. I'm just not convinced we've all agreed yet on what it should be :rotfl:

Ms sounds strange and has feminist connotations which not every woman wants to be associated with, Miss sounds a bit quaint and old-fashioned and Mrs is generally only used if you're married.

We could take a leaf out of the Quakers book and dispose of titles altogether. However people who have "earned" a title (Doctor, Professor, Sir..) may take issue with that!

And you still have the problem of how to address people in writing.

theoretica

missbiggles1 wrote: »

And you still have the problem of how to address people in writing.

The potential is endless!
Dear Valued Customer James Smith
Dear Respected Passenger Anne Jones
Dear Potential Donor Andrew McDonald

Might be quite fun!