In Need Of Advice

System

11111111 wrote: »

I'm happy to hear you have changed your life around and things worked out good for you.

I can't last years like this, I can't eat or sleep or be bothered to do anything now. It's all going to end one day..

It will end one day in the sense that one day, you WILL feel better

don;t let it end any other way, it a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

others have suggested Samaritans, i have emailed them before (hate talking on the phone) and they replied pretty quick. i dont know about you but i find writing things down easier than talking to people. its really worth emailing them, talking can help a lot.

miss_independent

I agree with Messed Up and Tiger Eyes - emailing the Samaritans was my first way of getting help, it's an excellent suggestion. They got back to me within the day. I was the same as you, couldn't eat or sleep.

Luckily my family are mental health experts and quickly realised, with not eating or sleeping for prolonged periods and being constantly in tears, I was just days away from getting admitted to the psychiatric unit, possibly being sectioned as through not eating and being constantly awake I was a danger to myself. I could not even raise a spoon to my mouth. I wanted to escape my own body and was seriously considering jumping out of the window of my, pretty high, London flat.

Aged 27, I had to move back home to my parents house and be taken care of. I couldn't work. I didn't want to see anyone. I lost every single friend I had. I had no confidence.

My life isn't perfect but in the 5 years since then I nursed a relative until her eventual death, went to a top national institution to study and completed a Masters Degree with excellent results, got professional music jobs in the West End and all over the country, played a role in a film, had a serious, loving relationship which lasted two years and got several decent jobs in the meantime and made new friends.

We are all proof that we have been were you are now and you, like us, can go on to have a worthwhile, fulfilling life. You can. We were all like you. We all thought we would never feel even a moments happiness again and we all went on to feel those moments of happiness again.

But you have to speak to a professional. That was the first step in me getting better and it will be the first step in you getting better.

If you can't see a GP right now, do email or call the Samaritains. Remember baby steps. That's all emailing the Samaritans is - one little step forward. You can do it.

11111111

Hmmmmmm, I'd honestly buy a relationship and happiness if possible, just so I knew I wouldnt be alone in the end. I need to get real help but I'm not sure how AD's will change the fact I cant get what I want. but thanks for the replies and listening to me still.

11111111

Miss independent, you should be proud of yourself.

miss_independent

11111111 wrote: »

Miss independent, you should be proud of yourself.

Thank you. I am. I've felt that worthlessness you've described too though, there are days I still have it, but you could also feel pride for yourself in future. I've not done anything that you couldn't do too.

11111111 wrote: »

Hmmmmmm, I'd honestly buy a relationship and happiness if possible, just so I knew I wouldnt be alone in the end. I need to get real help but I'm not sure how AD's will change the fact I cant get what I want. but thanks for the replies and listening to me still.

AD's (if you are prescribed them) cannot give you a relationship. What they could help you do is eat and sleep and get to the point where you are able to take steps to help yourself make a full recovery.

As Tiger Eyes explained - if you are depressed you have a chemical imbalance and the AD's help to correct this. Once the brain chemistry is sorted, you will feel like eating and sleeping again and you may have more motivation. AD's alone are not a cure. They are a step in recovery. That is why you also need talking therapy. Your life isn't going to be sorted overnight but you can start taking the steps to get better and they all add up and before you know it, it gets easier.

On another note - relationships do not guarantee happiness. You can feel alone and depressed in a relationship. You can feel happy and fulfilled when you aren't in a relationship. Historically, I've made my worst relationship mistakes when I've been desperate for company and wanted nothing more than to make the loneliness go away - I chose someone who treated me badly and made my self esteem even worse because I thought it was better than no one. It wasn't. I ended up more depressed.

Things only got better when I started looking within myself for happiness and realised that it wasn't fair of me to expect another person to make me happy. When you are happy and fulfilled without anyone, its almost like magic that you somehow end up attracting the right people into your life.

But before I got anywhere near thinking about having a relationship I had to learn the basics of self care again - like eating and sleeping and exercising. How could my brain be healthy unless I ate properly and gave my body all the nutrition I needed and exercise to give me serotonin? And sleep to give my brain the rest it needed. These are baby steps I keep going on about. And initially, like lots of people with Depression, I needed AD's to help to do those most basic things.

I can't tell you what to do but my advice is - start small. Email the Samaritans and then go to the GP. They should get you eating and sleeping again. When you are ready start therapy. Exercise. Meditate. Read self help books. Join a support group. Do one at a time. You can't fix your life overnight. You can start really small and build it up.


I'm going to have to bow out of this thread now. I've only been able to keep up with it because I've been off work sick. I wish you well and hope you'll be posting on here with news of how much better you feel in a couple of months time xxx