Advice please on son buying my council house

LittleMax

dizzybee wrote: »

Yes this is very hurtful i haven't slept for a week, my boss has also noticed that i am not my self, have just spoken to my housing officer about bedroom tax and at the moment it works out at £13 per week so not to bad,I may get a discount has i have a daughter with special needs.i have rang my son at work and told him i will need to speak to them when i get home,i just want to get this off my mind.

Be strong Dizzybee - don't enter into a lengthy discussion about it just say you have taken advice and the answer is no.

It's so hard when it's family pressuring you, but believe me I have seen so many times where parents get turfed out by grown up children. Contrary to what your son may believe you would not automatically be rehoused. It is very sad that he and your DIL are not considering you or his sister.

Cakeguts

There is no need for your son to do this. As he is living with you he and his girlfriend can save as much money as possible to buy a home for themselves somewhere else. It is also good practice for them to save money because a mortgage will probably be more expensive than what they are paying at the moment and they need to learn to save for property repairs. As her dad is a builder they should be able to find something that needs updating somewhere else and not threaten your home.

Do not ever give up your secure tenancy at your house.

Cheeky_Monkey

Thank the Lord he is not my son :eek:

You have my sympathy OP

McTaggus

Dizzybee, I'm so sorry you have been put in this situation. Please, as much as it may cause a rift between you and your son, no son should ever treat a parent this way. The answer, for your own protection and that of your daughter, should absolutely be no. Say it with your head held high, and if he decides to fall out with you about it, know it's his issue and not yours. Family rifts are always difficult - you can't choose your family after all! - but you need to also recognise that he's not treating you with fair respect or with consideration.

Take good care, don't worry, and just say NO.
x

TBagpuss

I'm sorry you've been put in this situation. As other posters have said, this is a really terrible idea. You should not even consider giving up your home uinless you would end up with somewhere equally secyuure for yourself and your daughter, which as far as I can see, would only happen if your sonwas ion a position to buy a differnet house foryou, outright.

He should be looking at saving hard for a deposit - making use of Help to Buy (and the new help to buy ISA, if he qualifies)
He and his partner may be able to look at buying a property in poor condition to renovate, if her father is happy to help.

It's possible that your son is simply incredibly niave and assums that you could easily be rehoused in another council proeprty. However, it does sound more as though he and his partner are simply incredibly selfish and greedy, and expect you to sacrifice your and your daughter's security fior their benefit.

Norman_Castle

dizzybee wrote: »

Just looking for some advice please my son and his girlfriend soon to be wife are desparte to buy a for ever home,they have asked if they would be able to buy the council house that we are living in, i have been here for 17 years and after looking at the council web site my son could buy it for £6000 after discount,but my main concern his where do i go, there answer to this is stay with them and after two years i could go back on the council waiting list.

Suggest to your son and girlfriend they put themselves on the council waiting list so they can discover why its called a waiting list. If they are eventually offered a place they could live there for 17 years and then buy it.

CathA

Not quite the same, but similar.

My mum's neighbour signed her house over to her nephew (she had no children and it was a privately owned house anyway, not council). She was supposed to be able to stay there for life.

Long short story, he got into financial difficulties, house was sold, she had to move out/was evicted but luckily she was re-housed by the council. Not something you would wish on a lady of advanced years (she was about 80? I think? She lost her beautiful garden, had to get rid of loads of stuff that her and her hubby had collected over the years.

Don't do it.

Tiger_greeneyes

OP - I know you're torn between wanting to help your son and keeping a roof over your head but you have to think about yourself and your special needs daughter. It sounds like your son has only considered his side in all this but not yours. Your son has his own family so it's time he stood on his own two feet like a man. You can earn up to £4,000 a year by renting out your spare room so you could invite them to stay for a couple of years and buy your house in your own name. That way they'll be able to save a deposit for their own house. Something tells me he won't be up for that though, even though it won't put anyone in a precarious position, unlike his proposition.

If your son and his girlfriend need a council property because they're disabled or have a disabled child then they should go on the waiting list. If he's able to work then they should sort out their own living accommodation like everyone else and leave the social housing for people who actually deserve it. For every tenant who is living in a council property and is able to work, there is an elderly, disabled, parent of a disabled child etc with a desperate need to have a home as they are unfortunate to not have any of the other options your son has. The council isn't there to be made money out of, it's there to help genuinely needy people.

Sorry - I'm not having a go at you OP, your son is selfish to expect to make money out of you for something he doesn't need and that's not his - and thoughtlessly risk yours and your disabled daughter's security and privilege of social housing. Please don't sign away your house, no matter how hard he tries. He has other options, you don't. If they want their own house they can work for it instead of expecting it on a plate at your expense. Maybe they could have an MSE wedding and put the funds they save towards a deposit. I can't see that happening though.

pinkteapot

OP - this is utterly outrageous. If you weren't such an established board member I'd assume this was a Friday wind-up!

So, your son wants to take your house and profit from it, even though he has no idea where you or his disabled sister may end up living as a result. It's rare that a post on these forums shocks me anymore but I'm speechless! :eek:

[Deleted User]

OP - whenever your son has a go at you for not letting him buy it, or keeps going on and on at you, or perhaps calls you every name under the sun because you won't sell to him, please please PLEASE come back and re-read this thread and remember it is YOUR HOME NOT HIS !!!

So he wants to buy YOUR secure council home to make a profit in a few years time and move somewhere else? Well where does that leave you?

They would buy it (with your name on the deeds too, as you are the tenant and they cannot buy the home if they are not the actual tenants), and then they would part-own it and want to make a few changes, decorate their room etc. They would then start talking about the grand plan of when you aren't there anymore they will do x,y and z to the place. It would not feel like your home anymore, in fact it wouldn't feel like your home as soon as it was bought, and if you ever have an arguement you can guarantee the words 'well it's my house too now' will crop up!

What happens if him and his girlfriend/wife-to-be split up? What happens if their circumstances change sooner than expected? If they lose their jobs, who's paying the mortgage? What if they have a baby? Or 2 babies? What if they want to move sooner, or if you guys all have a massive fall-out? What if you become ill, or if any of you have an accident and need to sell the home to pay for your care?

You cannot sell the house any earlier than 5 years without having to pay back some or all of the discount back to the council. So if they want you out after 2 years, then how are you going to stand a chance of getting re-housed if you are already named on the deeds of another house? It would be your home, so leaving it at any time would be making yourself and your daughter intentionally homeless. They might help your daughter if she's disabled, but not you.
You would be lucky to get back on the bottom of the council waiting list, and then with the high demand and short supply for council housing, it will be a loooooong wait for you to eventually reluctantly take a 1 or 2 bed flat in a pokey part of an area that you hate, purely because you are fed up of not having a permanent place to live.

Any profit made from the sale of your council home will be taken by your lovely son and his mrs to fund their lavish posh house dreams. They will be happy and laughing at their fortune and you will have no money and nowhere to go.

Please stay put where you are and do not agree to buy the house. You have a safe and secure tenancy for you and your daughter, and that is the most important thing. If you are concerned about the bedroom tax, then look into a mutual exchange or swap and choose a home that suits your needs. Your local council will have their own swap site online, or you can visit one of their one-stop centres for more information or help with this.

You are going to have to be firm because it sounds like they have this idea in their head and are not going to stop until you say yes. Try swapping your council home for a smaller one first, that will shut them up!
Say "No, I'm not interested, I'm sorry but I love my home and I want to be living here for the long term." If he says but what about us etc? say "I'm letting you stay here so you can save your deposit and you can look into help2buy schemes etc, or get yourself on the council waiting list. If you don't like it then please leave."

Good luck xx