Bullied at work due to going on holiday with work colleague!

Guest101

TRatings wrote: »

It's a big UK company, thousands of employees but we are both head office which has maybe 200.

Genuinely no other factors involved.

That's impossible. At least 10% of the work force- 20 people at head office would be off at any given time.

That's 18 on top of the two of you.

TRatings

Good point for sure - although of those 200 not that many work together on as regular basis as we do.

daytona0

Forgive me for asking such a simple question, but;

How did you not know that booking identical dates off would result in some speculation from colleagues?

Then to go and lie when the rumor mill is churning out gossip is just poor form!

Also, I'm shocked that there is such a buzz in the organisation.... It could range anywhere from 'those two have a history and so we couldn't put it past them' to 'colleagues are nosey parkers'. But even so, it is unusual (but not impossible) to have a large collection of nosey parkers nagging you about it so much!

I, like everyone else, don't know whether or not you've done the naughty on your husband. If you have then shame on you (and good on your colleagues). If not, then maybe exercise some foresight in the future and plan in advance how to handle situations to ensure that this sort of rumor mill thing is minimised in the future (ie just tell them if it is bleeding obvious!). ESPECIALLY seeing as this sort of stuff can potentially end up being discussed with your partner which will only serve to create a shitstorm.

In a nutshell, too much hassle!

iammumtoone

I don't think either of you have helped your situation.

Why didn't you tell anyone you were going on holiday together, it is normal for work colleagues to discuss holiday plans. Then someone finds out and you both deny it.

You didn't do anything wrong but I can see from the other point of view it does look at bit strange, a married women goes on a 'secret' holiday with an available work colleague. Gossip will always exist in the work place and unfortunately you have played straight into their hands - not thats an excuse for the way they have behaved.

Much better to just be open about it and say you did go as friends and share the holiday snaps, they will be talking about something else next week.

TRatings

Pretty accurate.

Wasn't open about it as it was obvious what would ensue if we did.

And as you say, no matter how we dealt with it it doesn't excuse their reaction - particularly given that they are hassling my friend who has been certified off work sick.

To previous poster, have nothing to hide on an anonymous forum so can clarify I did not do the dirty on my husband.

Question now is, how to proceed?

daytona0

TRatings wrote: »

Pretty accurate.

Wasn't open about it as it was obvious what would ensue if we did.

And as you say, no matter how we dealt with it it doesn't excuse their reaction - particularly given that they are hassling my friend who has been certified off work sick.

To previous poster, have nothing to hide on an anonymous forum so can clarify I did not do the dirty on my husband.

Question now is, how to proceed?

Maybe just be honest? Explain that you had a holiday and that you didn't tell anyone because of the reaction that people have demonstrated (turn it around on them). Also explain how your husband knew (hopefully not a lie) and that he was happy with it and knew that you were friends.

Only a sad git would rabbit on after that!

As for the bullying and all that stuff.... MAYBE but one has to bear in mind that they pay your wage and half of it (at least) is just normal workplace gossip and general rubbish. If you feel you are bullied then find a new job!

ElefantEd

Guest101 wrote: »

That's impossible. At least 10% of the work force- 20 people at head office would be off at any given time.

That's 18 on top of the two of you.

None of you would get any sleep.;)

iammumtoone

As above just tell the truth. This is better coming from you rather than your friend as you will be perceived as the one with most to lose (your husband!).

When your friend returns to work act as friends would ie meet for lunch, chat at the photocopier etc. and not as if your are having an affair.

They will soon get bored.

And make sure your husband is kept fully informed of what is going on, some people can be vindictive they might mention something to him if they see him.

Guest101

ElefantEd wrote: »

None of you would get any sleep.;)

Given the subject matter it was poor wording

emsywoo123

TRatings wrote: »

Because she is a lesbian, and I have a husband as mentioned and the company is 'Christian', and employees are so shallow this would be enough source for extreme gossip.

On this basis given the pressure applied lying/sweeping under the carpet seemed the best idea at the time...

This was a terrible idea. If I went on a holiday (as a non married woman) with my married male colleague (we are both straight), didn't tell anyone about it, and then lied about it and denied it when we got back... I am amazed you could not see this coming!

Tell the truth now. If you don't, it will always be one of those things that come up in conversation when times are quiet!