Bullied at work due to going on holiday with work colleague!

TRatings

Recently I went on holiday with a work colleague from another team, who I get on well with.

This doesn't seem at all out of the ordinary, and it really isn't!

However many people at the organisation that we work at sees fit to harass us because we have done this (they don't actually know we have for sure, they are just speculating because we took the same holiday time from work), on the grounds that she is a lesbian and are somehow intimating that we went for that purpose...

On arrival I received an aggressive phone call from a different colleague accusing me of going on holiday with her (although I fail to understand why this is a problem!).

The woman that I went on holiday with has had it even worse, being questioned by colleagues at the same level as her, and her line manager (!) about this. To make matters worse she has actually been off work sick since the holiday with a serious illness but they phone her incessantly to discuss this and accuse her!

Firstly, just to put the record straight for me, please correct me if I have done anything wrong with going on holiday with a work colleague. Due to the absurd and aggressive line of questioning we have actually denied that we have done so (hate lying but damned if we do, damned if we don't). I see no reason why we should have to justify our actions.

Secondly, how to proceed from here? I presume some people are skating on very thin ice regarding employee harrassment/bullying...

xapprenticex

Whats an aggressive phone call? I ask this because people tend to exaggerate and over inflate things.. Ive even had it on here. Not saying it wasn't the case with you but im just wondering what it is, was she cussing you out or threatening you or something?

TRatings

After asking this, she was accusing me of lying, you did it, I've looked at Instagram and I want to know, I thought you were a friend, obviously not!

Not really threatening me but intimating that she will make it difficult for me at work etc...

theoretica

Some organisations do have rules about personal relationships between the staff - the military does, but isn't the only one.

TRatings

No rules at all, I am happily married so the extent of our relationship is merely friends...

TBagpuss

Unless there is an internal rule about it in your workplace, you've done nothing wrong.
It may be that the fact that you have been reluctant to say that you did go away together has led to people blowing it out of a proportion - a response of "yes, we've been friends for ages, and we both enjoy [activity / lace / whatever ] " might help it blow over.
However, in the mean time, it is worth speaking to your supervisor or line manager and flagging up the comments, and the fact that it was so aggressive that you felt ou had to lie about the holiday.

It's up to your friend whether she wants to raise a formal grievance. Is it possible that they are more interested in understanding her medical issues and the impact these have on her working abilities, and that that is the reason for their questions, with the holiday being incidental to that?

Guest101

How many people work there? Over 9 and it was inevitable two people would share AL time

There must be other factors involved

TRatings

@tbagpuss, thanks very much for your detailed reply.

I can clarify that my friend's health was the least of their concerns...

TRatings

It's a big UK company, thousands of employees but we are both head office which has maybe 200.

Genuinely no other factors involved.

elsien

TRatings wrote: »

Not really threatening me but intimating that she will make it difficult for me at work etc...

What exactly was said to intimate this?
I don't know why you didn't just say you were going away together when it was first mentioned if it's not a big deal for either of you and there's no policy against it.
I don't do Instagram so have no idea how it works, but again why lie when people had access to the photos.
Surely a simple "yes I had a lovely holiday, thank you for asking" would have done the trick.
The whole thing does seem blown out of proportion on both sides.

TRatings

Because she is a lesbian, and I have a husband as mentioned and the company is 'Christian', and employees are so shallow this would be enough source for extreme gossip.

On this basis given the pressure applied lying/sweeping under the carpet seemed the best idea at the time...