Not wanting a dog

jackieb

I think some people are being unfairly harsh to the OP. She has came her for advice, not to be berated for making a decision which she probably made against her gut feeling but was made with the best intention. My husband and family want a dog. I like dogs but I don't really want one to look after. My husband works away for a month at a time. It's very hard to keep saying no when you are the only one who isn't on board.

JIL

You agreed to having the dog and you say your husband and children love it, that it's a good dog. But you now want to do up the house but don't want the dog in the house.
It's a home, surely you want it to be exactly that rather than a show home?
If you do the house up, you will be constantly cleaning anyway. Set some ground rules, don't let the dog on the furniture. If you got rid of the dog, what would the effect be on the rest of the family?
My one big regret is not getting a dog when the children were small. Something they all say they missed.

Rev

jackieb wrote: »

I think some people are being unfairly harsh to the OP. She has came her for advice, not to be berated for making a decision which she probably made against her gut feeling but was made with the best intention. My husband and family want a dog. I like dogs but I don't really want one to look after. My husband works away for a month at a time. It's very hard to keep saying no when you are the only one who isn't on board.

The OP specifically says 'I'm not here for advice'.

What's harsh is the thousands of dogs in rescue because people bin them for ruining the sofa.

What I don't understand is why the OP got the dog in the first place.

I don't feel even remotely sorry for the OP. I do feel sorry for the poor dog.

It's really not that hard. If you don't want a dog. Don't get one.

Dogs smell due to bad diet and poor grooming. And they become descriptive due to boredom. Those things are the responsibility of the owner. The dog has no control over those.

tazzyb

OP it seems to me you have made this thread hoping everyone would say it is okay you put your sofa above the happiness of your family and the future of a dog who loves you all unconditionally.

At the end of the day you agreed. The dog is part of your family now and loved by your OH and kids. You allowed the dog into your house. If it is a case of you are doing most of the house work and are unhappy with all the dog hair speak to your family and make a rota for hoovering and so on.

At the moment you sound selfish and house proud. Is that really who you are?

Person_one

BBH123 wrote: »

Give the dog up to a loving home.

There aren't enough loving homes for every unwanted dog, not even close.

Person_one

Huskyrunner wrote: »

Siberian Huskies can be very destructive as a result our five live in 3 huge crates in our dining room.

They live in the crates? I presume you mean they sleep in there or spend short periods in there when unsupervised?

seven-day-weekend

I have sympathy for the op. It seems she made the decision against her better judgement (being the only one in the family who didn't want a dfog, maybe she was trying not to be a party pooper), and now finds that it's not as easy to live with as she thought.

I have two cats, I have them through choice and I love them. But I don't love all the hair they shed, or the litter trays I have to clear out. But I do it because that is part of having the cats that I chose to have.

But the OP doesn't love the dog and didn't really want it, so to her these chores are just going to seem bigger than ever, and having the dog will not outweigh the hair and destruction.

I think she and her family need to sit down and have a good talk. Maybe the family members who DO love the dog could look after it, and maybe there could be one or two rooms the dog is not allowed into so that the OP can have a dog-free sactuary.

When I had a dog he was not allowed upstairs or on the sofa. Maybe this could be enforced too.

I hoe they manage to sort it out.

FBaby

I totally understand how you feel, but in my case, it resulted in me disappointing the children before going ahead. My kids have always been desperate to have a dog and when OH and I took the decision to move in together, which involved the kids moving area and therefore school/friends, we made the stupid mistake of talking about getting a dog to offset them being upset. BIG mistake as when we did move, we started to realise how unfeasible it was. We both work full-time, have busy lives, like to go away on holidays. The kids went on and on about how they would walk the dog, but the reality is that they can even be bothered to keep their room clean and make a fuss just to do the washing, so could imagine having to tell them to take the dog for a walk when cold and raining.

I'm so glad we indeed say no. The kids were very disappointed, but in the end accepted the decision. I am so relieved that we don't have to deal with this additional demand. We have a cat (we've had for 16 years) and that's enough.

Unfortunately, you went ahead with the decision and as such, you really have no choice but to accept it. There is no going back, if only because of the message it would give your kids. Deal with the issues that bother you the most and ask yourself if you'd get rid of one of your children if they became smelly and messy teenagers, because many do!

chucknorris

FBaby wrote: »

Unfortunately, you went ahead with the decision and as such, you really have no choice but to accept it. There is no going back, if only because of the message it would give your kids. Deal with the issues that bother you the most and ask yourself if you'd get rid of one of your children if they became smelly and messy teenagers, because many do!

This is my take on the issue too, it would be outrageous to take it out on the dog, she made the mistake, the dog is only guilty of being a dog, and obeying the house rules that she (at least partly) set.

We don't allow our dog on the sofa, it doesn't mean that we don't love him, we do, he is family. In fact, a lot of our life revolves around our dog, take holidays for example, he ALWAYS comes with us, so we can't fly off somewhere now, we have to drive, so that he can come with us, it wouldn't be a proper holiday without him anyway, I would rather stay at home with him, than go off somewhere without him. There will be an exception this summer, when I fly to the Isle of Man for about 5 days, but my wife will be with him at home. Even then I did consider driving up to Liverpool to get the car ferry so that he could come with me, but it just isn't practical.

FBaby

Unfortunately it inevitably comes back to people not thinking ahead of what having a dog implies. OH and I would love a dog, really really would, but no so much to make the sacrifices we would have to do so. We talk about getting one when we retire, but the reality is that we also talk a lot about travelling the world, so my gut feeling is that we never will.

Still I think you can make it work OP as the things that seem to bother you most are things you can do some things about.