Not wanting a dog

Laconic

Person_one wrote: »

You do realise that we kill thousands of unwanted dogs every year in this country? Lots of them just like the OP's dog, family pets that did nothing wrong but had owners who couldn't be bothered with them.

Of course I do! I volunteered at a shelter for years, and we only ever paid money for *one* of our dogs -- all the rest were unwanted. But it's a bit like the starving kids of Ethiopia -- it may be true, but that's not going to get your kid to finish their brussels sprouts. I would much rather the OP kept the dog and found solutions with the rest of the family, but realistically, it might not happen. If it doesn't, then the dog needs a better home, which is why I'm recommending that if it comes to that, then the OP work *with* a shelter to find a home directly from their home, not drop it off and hope for the best.

I'm really hoping it doesn't come to that.

Person_one

Laconic wrote: »

Of course I do! I volunteered at a shelter for years, and we only ever paid money for *one* of our dogs -- all the rest were unwanted. But it's a bit like the starving kids of Ethiopia -- it may be true, but that's not going to get your kid to finish their brussels sprouts. I would much rather the OP kept the dog and found solutions with the rest of the family, but realistically, it might not happen. If it doesn't, then the dog needs a better home, which is why I'm recommending that if it comes to that, then the OP work *with* a shelter to find a home directly from their home, not drop it off and hope for the best.

I'm really hoping it doesn't come to that.

That just means a different dog doesn't get a home though. The OP needs to accept the responsibility she willingly took on.

Mrs_pbradley936

green_cloth wrote: »

Hi all,


I'm not looking for advice just hoping that maybe someone else as experienced when I am feeling.


Six months ago I agreed half hearted to buy a dog for the children. My dh and the kids love the dog but I cannot stand it in the house. I work stupid hours to buy lovely things for my home and its already ruined one settee. I hate the hair and smell and generally try my best to keep away from it if I can.


We are now in a lucky position to completely upgrade our home after years of saving and I dread the dog being in it.


The dog generally is good and I know its now its fault. I just cannot click with it and I desperately wish I had not agreed to it now.


Is there anyone at all who has felt this way?

Yes other people have felt like you. They have also regretted having a baby, leaving a partner, staying with a partner and all sorts of other things. Those feelings will pass and are going to be far easier to cope with than the children hating you if you part with their pet.

As others have said - make some rules. If he is hairy have him groomed often or if the children are old enough have them brush him. Wash his bedding frequently and lastly smile - this is all part and parcel of family living!

sheramber

You say you don't want advice. Why not?

Your complaints are all workable. Your dog does not need to be destructive and smelly. That is down to the humans involved in caring for him/her.

If the dog didn't destroy things and didn't smell would you feel differently or re these just excuses you have found for your dislike of him/her ( not it).

Is this a puppy or a mature dog?

What breed ?

What exercise and training does the dog get? Lack of both could be the reason for the damage.

You say you work stupid hours. Does that mean the dog is left alone for hours? If so, the damage could be due to boredom.

Why does the dog smell? Maybe your dog doesn't like being smelly? Who grooms the dog and is it done regularly?

If you answer the above points we may be able to offer some advice.

However, if you really don't want advice I think you need to have a family conference where you share your feeling with the rest of the family and find a solution that is in everybody's interests, including the dog's.

Peter333

green_cloth wrote: »

Hi all,

I'm not looking for advice just hoping that maybe someone else as experienced when I am feeling.

Six months ago I agreed half hearted to buy a dog for the children. My dh and the kids love the dog but I cannot stand it in the house. I work stupid hours to buy lovely things for my home and its already ruined one settee. I hate the hair and smell and generally try my best to keep away from it if I can.

We are now in a lucky position to completely upgrade our home after years of saving and I dread the dog being in it.

The dog generally is good and I know its now its fault. I just cannot click with it and I desperately wish I had not agreed to it now.

Is there anyone at all who has felt this way?

You have my sympathy; as does the dog.

As with children, the dog will be able to sense that you have hostile feelings towards it, and it's really not fair on the poor thing.

However, pay no mind to the rude and cruel comments, like 'maybe the family can get rid of the OP!' Because I am guessing, as in most families, that the main bulk of the housework falls to you (the woman.) This would include clearing up after the dog, and looking after it, (probably even walking it.) It's all right for the hubby and kids to say they want to keep it, but in many cases, it's not them looking after it... it's the wife/mother. Don't know if this applies to you.

Have you mentioned any of this to your family? You need to tell them that you're not happy. Basically, as someone said earlier, if one person in the family was not happy having a dog, then the dog should not have been brought in.

If you have not told them yet, then you need to tell them. After 6 months you are never going to take to this dog, and if the cleaning up and general care of the dog DOES fall to you; you have a right to say you're not sure you want it to stay.

Despite all the comments saying 'you made the decision to get it, it's YOUR responsibility now;' I would much rather it was rehomed with a family where everyone wants it.

We have a cat that someone had when she was a few months old, and they just didn't take to her; she was energetic,a bit destructive, and she had the runs quite often. So at 6 months old, they took her to a cats home. When we went to get a cat, we saw her, and her big green eyes, and fell for her immediately. The cats home lady even said 'if it doesn't work out, please bring her back; don't abandon her.'

We didn't of course. She was a lively little thing for weeks, and kept knocking stuff over and tearing at the carpet, but with gentle persuasion and distracting her, she stopped. Also, her runny poo eased up after 5-6 weeks too. We changed the way she was fed, to more dry food and less wet. Easy.

So even though the other family had little time for her, and took her to the cats home, she got rehomed after a few weeks, into a wonderful and kind family who loves her to bits (US! )

6 years later, she is still with us, and she is precious to us. But it wasn't meant to be with the other family.

So despite all the guilt trips, and all the 'your family will hate you for life' type of comments; if you are never going to be happy with this dog, it may not be the best idea to keep it.

Do talk to your family though, and tell them how you feel.

So they may not be happy to get rid of the dog. Tough; they'll get over it. You can't keep a dog you don't want.

System

green_cloth wrote: »

I'm not looking for advice just hoping that maybe someone else as experienced when I am feeling.


Six months ago I agreed half hearted to buy a dog for the children. My dh and the kids love the dog but I cannot stand it in the house. I work stupid hours to buy lovely things for my home and its already ruined one settee. I hate the hair and smell and generally try my best to keep away from it if I can.

You are not alone. Judging by the adverts telling us a dog is for life and not for Christmas, this is a common problem with people buying a cute dog and later having second thoughts about it.

You don't mention what breed of dog it is, but be aware that the smaller breeds can live for a long time. Our nanny's westie died aged 17! Even the larger breeds can live for up to 10 years or so. Not wanting to rain on your parade, but the problem isn't going to go away any time soon, if you are really unhappy with the pooch.

Beckyy

If dog needs more attention or training could you look into training classes/a dog walker? Keep him/her off the furniture and make sure your family know the rules, everyone must be consistent or it won't work.

They can be hard work, our dog makes a lot of housework but I wouldn't have it any other way. Could you try spending a bit of time with doggy? He/she will pick up on your resentment and you'll likely get along better if you can build a relationship.

I think it's lovely for children to be able to grow up with a dog, they learn so much from them and build a very meaningful relationship.

[Deleted User]

Give the dog up to a loving home.

OP what did you think having a dog entailed ? Did you give any thought to how this dog would fit into your clean sterile home .

Tbh you sound really cold and unfeeling calling him of her ' it'

You are clearly not an animal lover so I suggest you rehome to someone who is and give him / her the chance of the loving family deserved .

Missus_Hyde

green_cloth wrote: »

Hi all,


I'm not looking for advice just hoping that maybe someone else as experienced when I am feeling.


Six months ago I agreed half hearted to buy a dog for the children. My dh and the kids love the dog but I cannot stand it in the house. I work stupid hours to buy lovely things for my home and its already ruined one settee. I hate the hair and smell and generally try my best to keep away from it if I can.


We are now in a lucky position to completely upgrade our home after years of saving and I dread the dog being in it

I'm afraid, OP, I have very little sympathy for you and your predicament. It's not so much that you're not a dog lover ( fair enough, not everyone likes dogs), but what is unforgivable is to agree to have one, without giving sufficient thought to it and then proposing to discard the poor thing because it smells and "ruins" your sofa. :mad:

As the other posters have said, unfortunately the rescues are full of unwanted dogs, who through no fault of their own are abandoned and discarded by selfish families who thought they wanted a dog on a sort of whim and then when it became inconvenient/messy/ hairy etc. decided that actually it was too much trouble to look after it properly.

If you do intend to rehome him/her, I do hope that you'll show more responsibility and ensure that the dog gets the good home it deserves.

Huskyrunner

ohreally wrote: »

Perhaps the family can get rid of the op.

Oh, and you have a lovely thing in your home, its called a dog!

If dog hair and smell were an issue why not choose a breed that doesn't cast?

i totally have too totally agree here. You cant just bin dogs into rescue its not right, the breed we own there are 1000's in rescue and its sickening

I have 5 siberian huskies that live in my home, they are part of our family, Siberian Huskies can be very destructive as a result our five live in 3 huge crates in our dining room. I think the op needs too look at things, if your dog is destroying furniture why is it destroying furniture, if the dog skinks the house out why??..

Wash the dog, cleans its bed, if there destructive crate it, if there destructive its usually boredom lack of exercise etc