Devastated!

catieeb06

Myself and my husband separated around 6 weeks ago- we seemed to agree that it would be a temporary split and we would work on ourselves with a view to getting back together.

I found out a couple of weeks ago that about 2 weeks into our separation he slept with a female "friend" and he subsequently found out on Saturday that she was pregnant. This person won't consider a termination and that's her perogative but since I found out last night I cannot stop crying. Every time he tries to talk to me I find myself in tears.

I just don't know what to do.

quidsy

I can't offer any advice beyond take the time to be kind to yourself & cry as much as you want. xx

piglet74

I'm so sorry for you.

Did you both agree equally with the split, and it being a temporary one?

Was this a one night stand, or has he been seeing her since?

Have you missed him immensely in the past 6 weeks? Did you get with anyone else in that time?

Did you want it to work out with him?

This could be the ideal time to make the split a permanent one. It is going to be very hard to get past this now there is a child involved. This woman, and your husbands child will be in your live for a long time if you decide to get back together. It will not be easy!

I wish you all the best, whatever you decide to do xx

pigpen

So he slept with someone once 4 weeks ago and she is pregnant? .. I think you're being had!! He has been sleeping with her for ages, one of them is lying.. I know I am utterly cynical.






I wouldn't have him back gift wrapped with a diamond studded @r$e tbh.. if he can't keep it in his pants a couple of weeks is this someone you really want to spend the rest of your life with??

Cut your losses and run .. you have her name?? Divorce him on the grounds of adultery.. if she is in fact pregnant there is your proof!!

Pollycat

catieeb06 wrote: »

Myself and my husband separated around 6 weeks ago- we seemed to agree that it would be a temporary split and we would work on ourselves with a view to getting back together.

I found out a couple of weeks ago that about 2 weeks into our separation he slept with a female "friend" and he subsequently found out on Saturday that she was pregnant. This person won't consider a termination and that's her perogative but since I found out last night I cannot stop crying. Every time he tries to talk to me I find myself in tears.

I just don't know what to do.

Has he managed to tell you what he wants to do about this baby?

Was it a mistake that he now regrets (but will be with him forever emotionally and for the next 18 years (at least) financially)?

Does he want to be with this woman?
Does he want to be with you?

ChemistDude

Kick his cheating butt out and take him to the cleaners in the divorce.

quidsy

I have to agree with pigpen on the story timeline. The odds of her getting knocked up on the first go is very slim. Her pregnancy might be part of the reason he wanted the split. You don't say what problems you were having to split in the first place. There could be signs.

charlishae

So if she really is pregnant then she got pregnant first time and presumably she they werent using protection so maybe she wanted to get pregnant which isnt good news if she has feelings for him.

Honestly if she is pregnant I would leave him and move on, youll have nothing but stress and emotional upset for the next 18 years..

d70cw6

you split in the first place because he was starting a new family....

Gavin83

See the problem is this. You'll be considering him having cheated, he'll be under the belief he hasn't done anything wrong and in many ways both of you are right. This is the issue with temporarily splitting up and you need to be clear on what the boundaries are. Some people will consider it as just a bit of time apart while some will consider themselves as effectively single. Without this clear definition I don't actually think he did anything wrong. Of course he could have been seeing her when you were still together but there is no way to know that yet.

It's also entirely possible to get pregnant the first time. I know someone who is expecting at the moment who got pregnant on their first time without protection. It can happen. I'd be much more suspicious how she knows so quickly to be honest as 4 weeks is no time at all. Either she was hoping/expecting to get pregnant, shes lying or he's lying and the pregnancy is actually more than 4 weeks.

However who is right and wrong is largely irrelevant. You need to decide if you can deal with him having slept with someone else and potentially him fathering someone elses child. If the answer is no then there is only one solution to this.

I wish you all the best whatever decision you make.

Pollycat

d70cw6 wrote: »

you split in the first place because he was starting a new family....

Where's that come from?

Have I missed something the OP has posted or do you have a crystal ball?