Do you get on with your neighbours?

Andrew_Ryan_89

Hey guys,

My fianc! and I recently purchased our first place in December. First impressions was that the neighbours were very nice. Both directly either side of us helped us settled in through taking our post, telling us when the garbage is due and so on.

However, one of the neighbours seems to be a little nosey. It could be that where I was brought up in London, everyone left everyone alone. People leaving rubbish on the street, noise you just didn't make a massive deal out of it. No "Hello neighbour" or anything like that in the morning.

Here, most people are pretty friendly though the one neighbor does knock our door or catches us outside and goes on about the fence, garden or something.

Which brings me to ask a second question within this thread. In a nice way, the neighbor keeps mentioning that our fence is leaning and need to be fixed. I haven't checked the deeds so let's assume it's my responsibility. How bad does it have to be in order for it to be fixed? When you looks at it, you wouldn't even notice anything. Doesn't impede are flowers, look untidy or anything. Just a little Lean

Update. So been at my new house for around 9 months and the mentioned neighbour above is getting very annoying. At least once every other day she is knocking at my door at all hours; in the morning, whilst I'm working and in the afternoon and evening when I'm trying to relax. She knocked me the otherday to tell me my butterfly Bush was getting tall. It's not even on her side of the garden. We are getting the pond cleaned and left a couple bins out to collect rain water. She knocks me saying to move it. Other times she knocks she is asking for help as she has a physical disability or giving me food she doesn't want. Problem is, the knocking is 3-4 times a week and I find it weird that she notices every little thing that I do; when I pull up, when I leave the house, when we put the blinds up, had a painter, asking where we went when we go out and noticing when we are away for the day. Such a neighbour has its benefits but she's quickly getting annoying.

pigpen

If they mention the fence again tell them if they want to replace or fix it to go ahead you won't complain but as far as you are concerned it is fine and you won't be touching it until it is clearly in need.. and with a wink and a cheeky grin tell them not to be setting fire to it

I don't speak to my neighbours.. but they wouldn't understand if I did.. both sides are Polish and as far as we can tell only 1 of the occupants on one side speaks any English at all, and he moved in about 3 weeks ago!

We aren't rude to one another we just ignore each other.

Flyonthewall

Andrew_Ryan_89 wrote: »

Hey guys,

My fianc! and I recently purchased our first place in December. First impressions was that the neighbours were very nice. Both directly either side of us helped us settled in through taking our post, telling us when the garbage is due and so on.

However, one of the neighbours seems to be a little nosey. It could be that where I was brought up in London, everyone left everyone alone. People leaving rubbish on the street, noise you just didn't make a massive deal out of it. No "Hello neighbour" or anything like that in the morning.

Here, most people are pretty friendly though the one neighbor does knock our door or catches us outside and goes on about the fence, garden or something.

Which brings me to ask a second question within this thread. In a nice way, the neighbor keeps mentioning that our fence is leaning and need to be fixed. I haven't checked the deeds so let's assume it's my responsibility. How bad does it have to be in order for it to be fixed? When you looks at it, you wouldn't even notice anything. Doesn't impede are flowers, look untidy or anything. Just a little Lean

There's no point in which it must be fixed, it's up to you if it's your fence.

Is it possible for you to do something to temporarily fix it?

Either that or thank them for informing you, but say you don't feel it's too bad as it's not affecting anything and you'll replace it if it gets worse.

If they still keep going on you could say you don't have the funds to replace it right now due to the cost of recently buying the house or just keep politely repeating the above.

jackomdj

We live in a close with 7 houses. All the neighbours are lovely. We don't live in each others pockets, barely see each other during the winter but this weekend whilst doing some work in the garden we chatted to everyone. Anyone in the close will take in parcels, we have gone to three weddings and I know if I needed help with anything I could knock on someone's door.

Person_one

I've just moved to a very suburban street after years in city centre flats, and I'm having a slightly similar reaction to you I think!

Its an adjustment, going from somewhere where people are crammed together but generally keep to themselves and value their privacy, to somewhere with more space but less privacy, where its normal for neighbours to know your business! Takes some getting used to, definitely.

Jagraf

If the fence is my responsibility I mend it. Most people on our street play their part. Can't you just mend the fence, or ask them to help you and do it together?

I've lived in London, Midlands and the North. All neighbours have been the same - friendly acquaintances.

balletshoes

my next door neighbour is very nosy, but she's lovely and her family (all local) have always been very welcoming and helpful to us. Same as my neighbours on the other side, although I don't see them quite as much, they cut my front lawn when they're doing their own (I do the same for them but they seem to get round to it more often than I do), they've helped repair my fence when a panel blew out in the storms etc.

It maybe is just not what you're used to OP, I really like that my neighbours and I can and do stop each other on the street and instead of passing we have a chat .

OP if you don't think the fence is falling down or needs repairing, just say so, nicely, next time your neighbour mentions it.

melanzana

My neighbours are just what I want them to be.

Silent generally, not intrusive, and there when you need them, just like I am for them.

End of story.

AntoMac

My neighbours are lovely,

When we moved in 10 years ago there was a lovely old lady next door. She could sometimes be a bit loud late at night as she was very deaf, but she was delightful and we got on really well.
After she passed away her son moved in with his family. They are lovely too and every few months we go for a curry with them. We'll always pass the time of day but generally don't see that much of each other. We couldn't ask for nicer neighbours - The boy plays his music loudly sometimes but then so does my daughter.
I know if we needed anything or vice-versa we would help each other out.

UKTigerlily

The guy on one side I barely ever see, just a 'Hi' if he is coming or going to/from work. The one above I also hardly ever see, he is pretty nosy and asks too many questions but is friendly and not a bother. The one the other side I think of as being almost like a big brother, he's not around much but will do anything to help and is protective when needed so very glad he is there. I consider myself VERY fortunate to have such good neighbours right now, having had two scary ones

Peter333

I have had awful neighbours in the past, including one 55 year old couple who moved from a huge 5 bed sink estate house into a little house next to us when their 4 kids had left home. They left the telly on really loud while they went to the pub, 'to deter burglars.' Unfortunately it kept us and our small kiddies, AND the people the other side of them and their small kiddies, awake til 11.30pm. They also had very loud sex at least twice a week.

They seemed very desperate to let people know they were having sex. Like we would care, or be impressed....... *shrug* There are many more tales to tell about them and their noise nuisance and their sink estate mentality. Maybe another time... We moved out and into a detached house. Bliss...

Re the OP, I would not be doing anything to any fence panel unless I knew it was mine, and even then, not if there was nothing wrong with it!

Our neighbours now are lovely. Keep themselves to themselves and don't expect to come into our home. Couldn't cope with that. A couple we know are very much the 'come to our house for meal.....' type and expect us to ask them back. Not our scene. We will go out for a meal yes, but can't have anyone around, only family and very close friends. Our prerogative.

Fortunately, almost everyone we know feels the same.