Mild rant!

duggo1

Can I just say I'm not a parent, so maybe have unrealistic expectations, but what should a 13 year old be capable of?

Trimming his own fingernails?
Mixing his own food together on his plate?!
Sitting at a restaurant with an adult group without gadgets and join in the conversation?
Making a bed?

AnotherJoe

I think you've mixed up the difference between being capable of something, and doing it.
If the former is the case, obviously this child has developmental issues. If the latter, parental issues.

duggo1

Hmmmm, I suspect you are right, and it's a case of being 'babied'!

elsien

duggo1 wrote: »

Sitting at a restaurant with an adult group without gadgets and join in the conversation?
?

Good luck with that one, given that an awful lots of adults use their phones in a similar way.

FBaby

It is indeed unclear what you mean by capable.
Can my 13yo physical trim his fingernails? Of course he can. Will he do it when it needs doing? Very unlikely! Will I do it for him? You've got to be kidding. Will it happen? Yes, after I pester him for days!

Just a point on joining conversation at restaurant, I once told DD off for not doing so when she was about that age, but she later told me that if she didn't, it was because the topics discussed didn't allow her to join in, and besides asking her a couple of questions about school, she was never invited to give her opinions. I have to say that she had a point, after all, if I was invited at a restaurant with people who talked about quantum physics all evening without explaining anything to me, I probably would disconnect at some point and wish I could go on my phone.

If I am out and teenagers are with us, I now make more of an effort in including them in conversations and encourage family to do so with mine, and indeed, it's amazing how they are suddenly much less tempted to check their phones.

Jagraf

It's swings and roundabouts. He might be brilliant at other things. Who is this thirteen year old you're not happy about?

I doubt any thirteen year old would join in with a table full of only adults if the conversation didn't include something they were interested in.

onomatopoeia99

duggo1 wrote: »

Sitting at a restaurant with an adult group without gadgets and join in the conversation?

What were you talking about? The gadget may have been more interesting.

peachyprice

I sincerely hope the fingernail cutting wasn't going on at the restaurant table!!

Ames

What do you mean by mixing food together on a plate?

Spendless

duggo1 wrote: »

Can I just say I'm not a parent, so maybe have unrealistic expectations, but what should a 13 year old be capable of?

Trimming his own fingernails?
Mixing his own food together on his plate?!
Sitting at a restaurant with an adult group without gadgets and join in the conversation?
Making a bed?

If you have no experience of children, either by being a parent or working with them and you don't come into a lot of contact with them either via family and friends, please don't start by trying to understand teenagers. :P

(sorry this was meant to be tongue-in-cheek but the smilies aren't working for some reason!)

balletshoes

duggo1 wrote: »

Can I just say I'm not a parent, so maybe have unrealistic expectations, but what should a 13 year old be capable of?

Trimming his own fingernails?
Mixing his own food together on his plate?!
Sitting at a restaurant with an adult group without gadgets and join in the conversation?
Making a bed?

i'm sure a 13-year old can do all of those things, but I think a more realistic question is has said 13-year old been brought up and expected to do those things in their own household?