Party Etiquette

FenellaWitch

I wouldn't dream of telling anybody that anything they may give may end up at a charity shop.Anything given would be accepted gratefully and graciously. My point is that I would really prefer people not to to an unnecessary expense, that's all.
The only reason I have invited all his class is that I would not want to exclude any children - that WOULD be mean!

I don't necessarily accept that parties= presents either, I wouldn't give a toss if someone I had invited to a party showed up without a gift . They've been invited because I want them there.
I realise that in the case of a child's party it is a bit different , but I really don't think my child would care one way or another. He will be getting presents off myself and immediate family and he has far too much stuff already.

Person_one

pigpen wrote: »

Just get rid of some of the old ones at home first! Fill a couple of boxes and drop them at charity shop!

Not a bad idea, one in one out! Kids outgrow toys pretty quickly at this age, and there are lots of places to donate decent condition second hand toys, not just charity shops.

Person_one

FenellaWitch wrote: »

My point is that I would really prefer people not to to an unnecessary expense, that's all.

Giving gifts can be a source of pleasure though, even if it is an expense. I also think its a good skill for children to learn, how to choose a thoughtful gift within a budget.

kingfisherblue

FenellaWitch wrote: »

He will be getting presents off myself and immediate family and he has far too much stuff already.

Why not ask family for money towards days out later in the year, or put money aside for that as your child's gift from yourself? Or vouchers for the cinema, wildlife park, museum, or somewhere your son will enjoy? My kids love eating out, so breakfast on his birthday is popular with my older son especially.

Or buy seeds/plants and some child sized gardening stuff, and give your son a corner of the garden or a few pots to grow things in.

Your son might be a bit young, but family could consider a magazine subscription.

If you have too much stuff (and yes, I've been there!), you could ask for a new bookcase or kid's storage unit from family/yourself.

You don't have any control over what children from school will bring as gifts, but you can speak to family about presents. To minimise the clutter, especially if your son is unlikely to play with things, maybe you could consider some of the suggestions above.

Kaye1

I wouldn't mind at all if I was told not to bring a gift.

I often don't know what to buy (especially for boys) and spend ages trying to find something appropriate.

Really, the only thing I would be concerned about is how your son would react- if he is ok with that, then I would go for it.

Secretly, I think a lot of parents would be glad not to have to buy something.

Jagraf

FenellaWitch wrote: »

I wouldn't dream of telling anybody that anything they may give may end up at a charity shop.Anything given would be accepted gratefully and graciously. My point is that I would really prefer people not to to an unnecessary expense, that's all.
The only reason I have invited all his class is that I would not want to exclude any children - that WOULD be mean!

I don't necessarily accept that parties= presents either, I wouldn't give a toss if someone I had invited to a party showed up without a gift . They've been invited because I want them there.
I realise that in the case of a child's party it is a bit different , but I really don't think my child would care one way or another. He will be getting presents off myself and immediate family and he has far too much stuff already.

So if you want everyone to be happy, why not just leave them be?

Why are you buying him a present if he's got too much stuff?

fabforty

DS was 5 in January and had a party with 24 children. He already has a lot of toys etc and then Christmas on top. Many parents asked me what to buy for him and I suggested practical/always needed presents such as pens/pencils/paints. I also didn't buy him a present myself, and asked family members to give money or vouchers which could be used to buy something later in the year or for a day out. I also used it as an opportunity to declutter and give away some of his older toys.
I'm not sure that inviting the whole class to a party is necessary - that seems to be a modern day phenomenon. Leaving out one or two children would be cruel, but there's nothing wrong with inviting a small group if that is what you would prefer/can afford.

FenellaWitch

My present is a trip to Legoland. My husband parents are taking him and his cousin out for the day. My sister is getting him clothes and my father will put money in his account and take him to choose something that he would like.
I really like your suggestions Kingfisher, and Kaye, I agree that it is difficult choosing presents for children that you don't know. At this age there are so many parties too - it can get very expensive!

pigpen

FenellaWitch wrote: »

My present is a trip to Legoland. My husband parents are taking him and his cousin out for the day. My sister is getting him clothes and my father will put money in his account and take him to choose something that he would like.
I really like your suggestions Kingfisher, and Kaye, I agree that it is difficult choosing presents for children that you don't know. At this age there are so many parties too - it can get very expensive!

None of those are 'presents' to a small child..

days out are days out.. unless a day out has specifically been asked for it may be a treat but it is not a present!
clothes are dull beyond belief .. my boys would unwrap a corner see clothes, discard and move on to the next until they were a lot older.
...and money in the bank is invisible..


presents are wrapped surprises .. bought with the recipient in mind and given with affection. I would feel exceptionally rude turning up to a childs party empty handed. Just get rid of what you already have!! If he has that much he cant possibly play with it all.

when you are 5 party does = presents.. it is a big part of it. Along with cake and friends and cards and food and games.


There arent that many parties, my 5 y/o has been to one this school year!! My 4 y/o hasn't been to any!

I have a pile of books and jewelry making/painting kits for school birthdays.

kingfisherblue

To reduce costs of presents when there are lots of parties to go to, buy a couple of appropriate collections from The Book People. You can then split the collections and give one or two books per party. Generally speaking, collections of ten books cost around £10, although obviously it depends on which collections you choose. They also have boxes of cards, which tend to be quite decent.

Parents are often happy for their child to receive books as it encourages reading, and they take up little space. Children usually enjoy being read to, or reading themselves. And books are very easy to wrap