Party Etiquette

FenellaWitch

I DO love the idea of the food bank pmlindy, but I feel for a child's party it comes across as a bit "worthy" , if you see what I mean. My child is just 5. However, I think that accepting any gifts and donating them to charity is probably the way to go.
Thanks for all your replies.

redpete

I really don't understand how it can be patronising or rude to say that they don't need to bring a present. Far worse to let people think they are expected to bring something.

missbiggles1

FenellaWitch wrote: »

I DO love the idea of the food bank pmlindy, but I feel for a child's party it comes across as a bit "worthy" , if you see what I mean. My child is just 5. However, I think that accepting any gifts and donating them to charity is probably the way to go.
Thanks for all your replies.

Personally, the "worthier" the better at any age!

I think donating gifts to charity is more of a problem, not least because the givers may recognise them in the charity shop and be offended.

FenellaWitch

Ok, what I think I will do is have a word with one of the few mums I know . She knows everyone , she , as my husband says " will say hello to a cardboard box" ( don't get me wrong, she is lovely but the complete polar opposite to me) and pitch all the ideas and see what she thinks is best. She knows all the parents of my child's class as her child is in the same one. Is this a reasonable idea?

indsty

How about something like - Jonny is really into wild birds just now and would like any present to be some sort of bird food he can take to the bird rescue centre? (Or cat and dog home treats, or hedgehog sanctuary etc).

Jagraf

what message are you trying to put across to
Your child? The reason I ask is that I appreciate its a terrible waste to have too many toys, but a party for 30 is quite extravagant (although better than kids being left out). How will your son feel about not having any presents - not that he should expect them, but will he notice?

Just give them the option not to buy and then let them choose, otherwise you are asking them to behave in a certain way which may make them feel uncomfortable.

FBaby

Person_one wrote: »

Oh I bet you have. Received any wedding invitations in the last few years? :cool:

Was going to say that no I hadn't, but suddenly remembered that we were invited to the wedding of an old work colleague of OH, who not only asked for gifts, but wrote a dreadful poem to say that all they wanted was cash! Bad enough, but considering their wedding was as cliche as it gets which must have cost at least £20K, I thought it was quite bad taste to do so, especially as we are talking about people in their 40s!

The worse part of it though.... despite giving them £50, we never got a thank you card. I'd never met them before, and no need to say that we haven't seen them since, hence why I forgot about them!

balletshoes

redpete wrote: »

I really don't understand how it can be patronising or rude to say that they don't need to bring a present. Far worse to let people think they are expected to bring something.

because we're talking about a child's birthday party, and whether we like it or not, there is an etiquette there, in that its the norm to bring a present when you're invited to the party. I don't have a problem with the OP's sentiment, but she should expect that her child will be getting presents from the kids who turn up to the party.

balletshoes

FenellaWitch wrote: »

Ok, what I think I will do is have a word with one of the few mums I know . She knows everyone , she , as my husband says " will say hello to a cardboard box" ( don't get me wrong, she is lovely but the complete polar opposite to me) and pitch all the ideas and see what she thinks is best. She knows all the parents of my child's class as her child is in the same one. Is this a reasonable idea?

what are you going to say? I'd be wary of telling the parents in advance that the gifts they buy for your child may end up in a charity shop.

pigpen

Just get rid of some of the old ones at home first! Fill a couple of boxes and drop them at charity shop!


Its really mean to not allow him to have presents at his birthday.. thats part of what makes them special! He knows party = presents.. he must have been to parties before!