Party Etiquette

Person_one

FenellaWitch wrote: »

I really am not being patronising, I'm sorry if it came across that way. I am in no way well off myself , and if it it weren't for the help of family , my child would not be having a party .

I'm sure its not intentional, you clearly mean well, but it is a bit patronising to decide what's best for other people. Just let them use their own judgement, for all the reasons stated in this thread.

missbiggles1

Person_one wrote: »

I'm afraid it is rude to tell people not to give gifts, just as it is to tell them what to get, or to ask for money instead. If they want to give something, you should accept graciously with a smile and then deal with the gifts however you wish once they've left.

What about "No flowers by request, donations to....." at funerals?

missbiggles1

FenellaWitch wrote: »

I really am not being patronising, I'm sorry if it came across that way. I am in no way well off myself , and if it it weren't for the help of family , my child would not be having a party .

I don't think you're coming across as patronising, just thoughtful of others. (Although I don't know how you can get your message across, though.)

hngrymummy

I hear you Fenella. We have a January birthday and a February birthday. Most of my son's invitations were to school friends, so when the parents approached me at the school gate to say they could come I spoke to them then. I made light of it and said that we were still recovering from the Christmas toy deluge, so they shouldn't feel obliged to buy anything. Every parent I spoke to was understanding and said they were still recovering from Christmas too. We still got presents from everyone, but most of them were small, and things like Lego that just get added into the box.
As a parent, I would never feel insulted by a request to not bring a present, or to choose a particular type of gift. Why would I? I don't want to have a house full of stuff just bought for the sake of it, so why would I imagine anyone else would want to.

duchy

missbiggles1 wrote: »

What about "No flowers by request, donations to....." at funerals?

In what way are flowers at a funeral gifts ?

Person_one

missbiggles1 wrote: »

What about "No flowers by request, donations to....." at funerals?

Well, that's a completely different situation, not sure how its relevant?

missbiggles1

Person_one wrote: »

Well, that's a completely different situation, not sure how its relevant?

I thought it was exactly the same situation.

missbiggles1

duchy wrote: »

In what way are flowers at a funeral gifts ?

I'd always thought of them as gifts but I suppose that's just one way of looking at it.

pmlindyloo

I don't know how old your child is but one idea I have seen is that the invitation says, 'No gifts please, your presence is gift enough' and then suggesting they bring, instead, a donation for a food bank.

You could have a suitably decorated box to collect items for the food bank and then your child could help you take them to the food bank.

I like this idea because it teaches children the gift of sharing with those less fortunate.

If you don't like this idea then you could, alternatively, accept the gifts and just then donate them (or older toys) to a charity shop. Same principle.

Chatting to the parents at the school gate about this or getting your child to speak to his friends (if he is old enough) might also be a way forward.

missbiggles1

pmlindyloo wrote: »

I don't know how old your child is but one idea I have seen is that the invitation says, 'No gifts please, your presence is gift enough' and then suggesting they bring, instead, a donation for a food bank.

You could have a suitably decorated box to collect items for the food bank and then your child could help you take them to the food bank.

I like this idea because it teaches children the gift of sharing with those less fortunate.

If you don't like this idea then you could, alternatively, accept the gifts and just then donate them (or older toys) to a charity shop. Same principle.

Chatting to the parents at the school gate about this or getting your child to speak to his friends (if he is old enough) might also be a way forward.

I think this is a brilliant idea and hope the OP goes with it.