large booking at restaurant- how to split the bill?

Person_one

Mitchell and Webb did a great sketch on this subject, with an outraged diner horrified that at the end of the meal people were paying for what they'd had and railing at the unfairness that he'd had loads of expensive food thinking others were going to chip in and subsidise him and he wouldn't have if he'd known.

Sadly I can't find the clip anywhere online, it would have been perfect.

mumps

onlyroz wrote: »

Again, you have missed the point. Nobody is quibbling over a "quid or two", and nobody is counting how many bread rolls each diner has eaten.


I see you have totally ignored my scenario involving a friend with a medical condition. How about imagining that you lost your job. Would you expect your meal invites to stop? Or would you perhaps say to your friends of 20+ years "Sure I still want come out with you, but due to my reduced income I'll be going easy on the wine and sticking to one course."

The depressing thing is that apparently ill, out of work or whatever people would just drop their "friends".

Person_one

mumps wrote: »

The depressing thing is that apparently ill, out of work or whatever people would just drop their "friends".

I suppose it makes sense, how else can you make sure you maintain a social circle that just doesn't worry about these things, that are so laid back about money that it doesn't matter in the slightest how you split the bill, that will never speak up and ask for a fairer distribution?

Jagraf

Person_one wrote: »

Mitchell and Webb did a great sketch on this subject, with an outraged diner horrified that at the end of the meal people were paying for what they'd had and railing at the unfairness that he'd had loads of expensive food thinking others were going to chip in and subsidise him and he wouldn't have if he'd known.

Sadly I can't find the clip anywhere online, it would have been perfect.

Peter Kay has done one the opposite way around too, as I recall.

seven-day-weekend

mumps wrote: »

For some people illness means a significant reduction in income. For my husband he was still in his 40s and we still had 3 dependent children, one a new baby, and one at university so maybe fairer to say 3 and half dependent children. We were lucky as he was in a good pension scheme and I could earn a good living but if we had been in financial trouble don't you think it would have been horrible if our circle of friends had demoted us to the bottom division i.e. suitable for cheap restaurants or just a coffee? We already missed out on alot, particularly my husband, is it only me who thinks real friends wouldn't want to exclude you. I'm not saying you have to invite everyone to everything but if you were in a group that went out for a nice meal once a month or every couple of months you would just be dropped?

I would offer to subsidize you. I wouldn't expect you to sit there with bread and scrape because you couldn't afford anything else.

missbiggles1

mumps wrote: »

For some people illness means a significant reduction in income. For my husband he was still in his 40s and we still had 3 dependent children, one a new baby, and one at university so maybe fairer to say 3 and half dependent children. We were lucky as he was in a good pension scheme and I could earn a good living but if we had been in financial trouble don't you think it would have been horrible if our circle of friends had demoted us to the bottom division i.e. suitable for cheap restaurants or just a coffee? We already missed out on alot, particularly my husband, is it only me who thinks real friends wouldn't want to exclude you. I'm not saying you have to invite everyone to everything but if you were in a group that went out for a nice meal once a month or every couple of months you would just be dropped?

I'd think they were being thoughtful by choosing cheaper restaurants so you could still be part of things, but then I don't see eating in cheaper restaurants as being demoted to the second division.

Life has its ebbs and flows both in terms of health and finances - you have to adjust to these changes and go with the flow.

KxMx

I don't expect to be invited to every meal or outing.

I don't expect either a friend to presume they know my finances and not invite me to a particular place solely because they deem it too expensive for me.

I think the two posters who stated they "knew" their friends couldn't afford x have a flaming cheek.

By excluding them on your "knowledge" you seem to forget the possible ways those friends could have afforded, and enjoyed that outing. Ever heard of saving up? Extra money that month? A choice to spend all on one outing instead of on three? A savings pot for treats coming to fruition? I could go on here!

missbiggles1

mumps wrote: »

The depressing thing is that apparently ill, out of work or whatever people would just drop their "friends".

I don't think anybody's been suggesting that at all.

onlyroz

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I would offer to subsidize you. I wouldn't expect you to sit there with bread and scrape because you couldn't afford anything else.

Some people don't want to be subsidised, and don't ask for their friends' pity when times are tough. Many people still want to see their friends, and don't expect their friends to start eating in Wetherspoons when they normally go to fancier restaurants - but are instead perfectly happy to scale back on the number of courses, drinks and side dishes.

onlyroz

KxMx wrote: »

By excluding them on your "knowledge" you seem to forget the possible ways those friends could have afforded, and enjoyed that outing. Ever heard of saving up? Extra money that month? A choice to spend all on one outing instead of on three? A savings pot for treats coming to fruition? I could go on here!

Well yes. For example, a friend who has recently been made redundant might not be able to attend all events, but they might decide that if they are frugal they can go to every other one, as long as they scale back on the cocktails and brandies. Should such a friend be cast aside, or told that they can only come along to the events at cheaper places?