Re-paying gifted monies after break up

Marvel1

Mojisola wrote: »

You don't have to agree to a sale.

Could you get permission from the mortgage company to rent it out for a couple of years?

If it's more than a one-bed place, could one of you stay there and take in a lodger to help with the bills?

To be fair with an ex and no children involved, you would want to cut all ties and move on and no longer have contact with them asap.

Mojisola

cjdavies wrote: »

To be fair with an ex and no children involved, you would want to cut all ties and move on and no longer have contact with them asap.

That might depend on how big the financial loss would be.

silvercar

cjdavies wrote: »

To be fair with an ex and no children involved, you would want to cut all ties and move on and no longer have contact with them asap.

Agreed. Particularly a short relationship that ended when she was playing away..maybe it is the parents who should be writing off this money, given it was their offspring who has caused the relationship to end.

...well you did ask for a moral judgement!

AdrianC

People don't "play away" if all is happy at home.

Thrugelmir

Mojisola wrote: »

You don't have to agree to a sale.

Could you get permission from the mortgage company to rent it out for a couple of years?

If it's more than a one-bed place, could one of you stay there and take in a lodger to help with the bills?

These forums are littered with tales of woe. From instances where a clean break was not made at the time.

Person_one

AdrianC wrote: »

People don't "play away" if all is happy at home.

There's never any excuse or justification for cheating. If you're not happy, sort it or break up.

OP, I don't think there is any reason for this money to be repaid. It's nothing to do with the value of the property, they paid a one off bill that isn't refundable. The money is long gone and did what it was intended to do.

It's like expecting money back if they'd paid your council tax or gas bill for you. Or paid for a big supermarket shop when you first moved in.

It'll be tough to get through this though, you will probably come under a lot of pressure. If I were you I'd stick with the 'that money is long gone and the solicitors bill isn't refundable, all we are both entitled to is our deposits back and 50% of the equity, so let's get it sold asap and get it all behind us.'

I'm assuming neither is in a position to buy the other one out?

getmore4less

Perhaps open and frank discussion asking the parents what they thought hey were paying into.

Maybe they be more careful next time the daughter wants to spend and waste money on short term situations.

moneyistooshorttomention

AdrianC wrote: »

People don't "play away" if all is happy at home.

That is sometimes the case - it depends a bit on the partner (ex-partner in this case).

Some people are just naturally unfaithful and will get up to all sorts - no matter how good a partner/spouse they have. But there are others that will "play away" because home life isnt happy.

We have no way of knowing which is the case in this connection.

CLAPTON

it would be better if you posted the actual figures so we could see them
but I would think that is there is an overall loss then it should be shared
but without the actual figures difficult to say.

moneyistooshorttomention

getmore4less wrote: »

Perhaps open and frank discussion asking the parents what they thought hey were paying into.

Maybe they be more careful next time the daughter wants to spend and waste money on short term situations.

The snag with that idea is that:

The vast majority of people don't remember very clearly what their intention was/those exact words they used (or wish they'd used), etc. Take it from someone that does remember that - and has spent time wishing they had used one set of exact words (rather than another) because the set used gave the other person the wiggle room to answer with words that could be interpreted a couple of different ways. That even though they would clearly know exactly what question was being asked of them in the context.

I asked the vendor of my current house a very clear and obvious question that no-one could possibly have misunderstood. But, in hindsight, the words he used to reply might/conceivably/with a biased listener be construed in a different way to the way I interpreted them (and he would have known that:mad:). Sometimes people are less intelligent - but more crafty.

One way or another - the ex-partners parents might well not remember this episode clearly. On the other hand - even if they do they might lie one way or another.