Re-paying gifted monies after break up

Mathshead

I can only assume that based on your 825 'thanks' you have provided some appreciated advice somewhere on this forum.


However, you have taken my request for legal guidance too literally, and have missed the connection with the moral side of the matter. Perhaps I should have just requested 'opinions' on my situation!

Gigervamp

Similar thing happened to me. When ex and I split up, the money that a member of his family had gifted us for the deposit, suddenly turned into a loan which was to be paid back when the house was sold.

As the family member who had gifted it to us had died a few years previously, I knew that it was ex who was going to be pocketing most of the equity.

I didn't quite lose out though, as I got just over £1000 from the sale.

I just let it go. People like that aren't worth wasting your energy on.

Mathshead

that's my inclination, but I am being a bit flaky about it, so that's why I am getting an outside perspective.

csgohan4

Mathshead wrote: »

I can only assume that based on your 825 'thanks' you have provided some appreciated advice somewhere on this forum.


However, you have taken my request for legal guidance too literally, and have missed the connection with the moral side of the matter. Perhaps I should have just requested 'opinions' on my situation!

I guess you can from a moral point of view refuse to pay, especially the so called 'gifted' deposit towards costs.


Again too many unknowns in regards to how much you would liable

Mathshead

If it is likely that I would make a gain after paying these monies, that might be a different thought process. Your situation does sound familiar though

ashleypride

Assuming you wouldn't have to repay if you had to stay together, there was no terms attached, no contract, no repayments made, and only covered costs then legally it sounds like a gift.

Morally, it is more tricky. The gift was to help you get on the ladder and a home together, which it achieved. Yes, you then split up - but the gift still did want was intended, and there was always that risk. Would the parents still expect the money back if you had split up in 10 years time?

Mathshead

The point is that I am pretty clear that I am not legally liable to re-pay these monies as they are not recorded in the value of the house, and neither are they detailed on any type of declaration of trust document. That's based on my understanding, but I am gathering other opinions to check it.


I think it's a goodwill issue really, and that's what's giving me pause for thought.

stator

If the gift was to cover legal fees etc then the money has been spent, there is nothing to repay. If you sell the house, you don't get any money from the legal fees back, so why would you repay the gift?
Assuming the gifter signed legal statement saying it's a gift and they have no interest in the property (like all lenders would require) then you have nothing to worry about.
A gift is a gift and you have no moral obligation to repay.

motherofstudents

If the gift had been made by your parents would you feel it was right to pay them back ? I guess your answer to that might help you to decide. My feeling is that if something is gifted then it does not need to be paid back (unless as you say, there was a large profit then it would be a nice gesture).
When my son and his ex split, the ex's mother wanted everything she had bought them to be returned to her whereas I considered gifts to have been bought for the two of them so they should be divided however they decided. We had lent them money and my son paid us back for that, not the ex, but it was definitely a loan.

Mojisola

Mathshead wrote: »

My relationship has broken down very soon after we bought our first property, so if we sell now there's all sorts of costs that will eat up any value improvement we've made.

In addition, it is being suggested that we should prioritise repayment of monies gifted by my now ex's parent which covered all legal and other costs on the house purchase out of the realised value of the flat. If we do that then I will come out with a loss.

The thing is that the decision to separate was not mine

stator wrote: »

If the gift was to cover legal fees etc then the money has been spent, there is nothing to repay. If you sell the house, you don't get any money from the legal fees back, so why would you repay the gift?

A gift is a gift and you have no moral obligation to repay.

I think if it was me who had broken up the relationship, I would feel obliged to repay half of the money that the ex's relative had handed over.

As it wasn't your choice to break up (and you weren't the cause of it through awful behaviour), I would stand my ground that it was a gift.