Re-paying gifted monies after break up

Kynthia

I think this would be morally more difficult if they had gifted a deposit in the property as when you sold you would be getting a share of that money back to you. Even if you then needed to pay some costs out of it leaving you to make a loss you would have had a share of their monies.

However they paid the solicitors bill which is not the same thing. That money is gone and is not in the equity of the property. If you were the cause of the split or there was a profit then maybe you could offer something out of goodwill. However the bill has been gone, your ex ended the relationship, it was never a loan and you aren't making a profit so I can't see tgat you need to pay anything. Your ex can out of her share if she wants.

G_M

I really don't understand this debate.

There's another thread running concerning the definition of 'first time buyer', to which there is no clear answer without further contextual information.

But 'gift'? I see no ambiguity in the definitionof a 'gift'.

System

ethank wrote: »

You could not of bought the house without the parents help. Was this really a 'gift' or was it as 'gift' in the eyes of the lender only, with the family helping you both out and expecting it back. If the latter, pay up and move on.

The lender didn't come into it.

The ex's parents paid the legal bill and ancillary costs for them. In other words costs that could not be included within the mortgage or deposit

Clutterfree

When your ex's parents offered to pay the legal fees did they say something along the lines of

"we will pay your fees, you can pay us back once you get back on your feet"

or did they say

"we will help you out and pay your legal fees, don't worry about paying us back, it's a gift to you both".

?

G_M

Clutterfree wrote: »

When your ex's parents offered to pay the legal fees did they say something along the lines of

"we will pay your fees, you can pay us back once you get back on your feet"

or did they say

"we will help you out and pay your legal fees, don't worry about paying us back, it's a gift to you both".

?

OP was very clear. Way back in post 1:

it is being suggested that we should prioritise repayment of monies gifted by my now ex's parent which covered

moneyistooshorttomention

Legally speaking - yes...I would have thought it depends what's down in writing.

Morally speaking - do you remember the exact words that were used when they handed over this money towards the purchase. If the exact words were "It's a gift" - then its a gift and they cant turn round later and say its a loan. Also were the exact words, if so, that "It's a gift to her" OR "It's a gift to you both"?

I would base my decision morally speaking on what those exact words were and act accordingly. If it was a loan at the time it was given - that must be repaid first. Who repays it would be down to whether it was a loan to you both or a loan just to her.

If it was a gift - then the gift would have been to her (presumably) and not to you both.

If it was a gift and it was just to her - then its down to her to deal with it (and suffer any consequent loss) and nothing to do with you.

Personally - I think its totally irrelevant who instigated the split-up. Things arent necessarily that straightforward as to be able to say "It's their fault - and their fault alone". Sometimes its 50/50. Sometimes the person apparently breaking up the relationship has been "set up" to do so by the other party. From the other side of the screen we have no way of knowing. I would detach emotions from the facts and the facts are just, purely and simply, down to whether it was a gift or no and, if so, who the gift was to (her gift only or a joint present). With it being her parents - I would say the gift was to her.

Mojisola

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Morally speaking - do you remember the exact words that were used when they handed over this money towards the purchase. If the exact words were "It's a gift" - then its a gift and they cant turn round later and say its a loan. Also were the exact words, if so, that "It's a gift to her" OR "It's a gift to you both"?

What should the OP do if the ex's parents said "We'll pay the legal fees" - with no precise mention of gift or loan?

moneyistooshorttomention

Mojisola wrote: »

What should the OP do if the ex's parents said "We'll pay the legal fees" - with no precise mention of gift or loan?

Then that gets a good bit more difficult:eek: - as OP then has to sit down and try and dispassionately/objectively work out what their exact intention was at the time:(:eek:

It would be a "my head hurts" scenario if their words at the time were unclear or missing.

paddy's_mum

Mathshead wrote: »

house purchase out of the realised value of the flat.

I'm confused - is it a house or a flat?

Something tells me we're not getting the full story here.

In the OP's shoes, I would be paying 50% of the money simply to be able to walk away with head held high and no room for anyone to be slinging insults of the daylight robbery kind at me.

Mojisola

Mathshead wrote: »

My relationship has broken down very soon after we bought our first property, so if we sell now there's all sorts of costs that will eat up any value improvement we've made.

In addition, it is being suggested that we should prioritise repayment of monies gifted by my now ex's parent which covered all legal and other costs on the house purchase out of the realised value of the flat.

If we do that then I will come out with a loss.

You don't have to agree to a sale.

Could you get permission from the mortgage company to rent it out for a couple of years?

If it's more than a one-bed place, could one of you stay there and take in a lodger to help with the bills?