Negative driving instructor

londonTiger

maybe the 2nd instructors constant positive feedback and encouragement is a crutch for you and you need positive reinforcement to drive well.

Also, 4 hour lesson a day isn't great. I know after 3 hurs of driving my concentration would start to wain. feel a bit unconfortable etc.

spottycat

cjdavies wrote: »

Um reading this, it's a bit confusing.

Sorry I wrote this whilst on the cross ramp!

Basically we were approaching the roundabout I had checked all was clear, a car was approaching from the right but it wasn't quite there yet (at the give way line). So I pulled away and just after the give way line the instructor did am emergency stop.
He asked if I had the the car on the right I said yes, he said he never saw me look, so I said I would not have gone if I wasn't sure (we talk about me hesitating a lot) so he apologised.
We drove on, stopped on the left and he gives me a 10 min talk about roundabouts and checking...so I made sure I did some exaggerated head movements next time I checked!

AdrianC

spottycat wrote: »

Yes but I have never pulled out in front of another car...

The person who was in the car with you thought you were about to.

It's very simple. If you don't get on with your instructor, find a different instructor.

neilmcl

spottycat wrote: »

I wish I could but the other driving instructor is not available to take me for the test (I only had 3 lessons with him and never booked more) now my current instructor won't take me unless I book more lessons!

Well it looks like you have to rebook anyway so rebook when he is available.

nimbo

So the negative instructor is demanding you book more 4 hour lessons in? I wonder why?

Never learn to drive with an instructor you want to stab in the eye with a pencil (please note that this is tongue in cheek) but go for someone who makes you feel relaxed. Being tense while having a driving lesson will make you more likely to make mistakes.

I had one instructor and he just made my skin crawl. I found the instructor with the dodgy repeated jokes reassuring - and the one who shouted at me for grinding his gears in my second lesson got told to drive me home and then told to never call me again. As a driving instructor - they need to be calm in a crisis and talk you through it rather than make you shake with fear because you did a bunny hop.

spottycat

So I just finished a lesson, it was going well at first then I made another minor mistake and he goes off on one...then he points out everything wrong afterwards.
I asked him if I could pull up on the left and he said ok, I told him I was making mistakes as his tone of voice and frustration was making me nervous and I needed to stop for a moment and collect myself together before moving on.
He seemed really surprised and denied that he was getting frustrated he said he was being 'mean' to encourage me. That all driving instructors will adopt this attitude when a pupil is close to their test.
I said ok that's fine but do you think it's helping me? Do I seem confident? Do I appear encouraged when you bang your pencil in the dashboard or window?
He said this was the reality and I need to get used to it, he then went on to say the examiner won't encourage you or tell you, you have done well to which I replied they also shouldn't shout or make gestures or bang their pencil in frustration.
He then asked if I wanted to finish and go home, I said no I have payed £55 for this lesson so we're gonna finish it.
From then on he was quiet, gave me instructions and didn't say much only once pointing out when I indicated late.
When we pulled up outside my house he said I had to get used to a tough attitude because if I think I'll get another instructor they will treat me the same. I said he wasn't being tough and he wasn't being mean, he was behaving in a way which made me believe I was wrong, nothing is right, he is frustrated I am nervous.
I said if anything needs working on its that! Ok you want to have a mean attitude but at the same you are not encouraging, you point out mistakes but we don't fix them, you make me nervous then I have to get over it because that's the reality?
He then went on to say I'll only pass my test with luck and I need a lot of it, then he started making jokes and bad puns to see if I would laugh, when he saw I wasn't he said 'don't worry it'll be ok' ????
Too late to rebook my test now but at least he won't be in the car while that's happening.
Thanks for advice, if I hadn't made this post I wouldn't have told him anything and although it was awkward I feel better for telling him how I feel, even though I'll dwell on it tonight and never sleep!

Paradigm

I junked my 1st instructor after just 2 lessons, that's how long it took for me to know we wouldn't get on... complete personality clash!


Found another guy & passed after 10 lessons.


It's already been said, get rid & find another you are comfortable with... you're the customer, it's your money!

cajef

spottycat wrote: »

That all driving instructors will adopt this attitude when a pupil is close to their test.

When we pulled up outside my house he said I had to get used to a tough attitude because if I think I'll get another instructor they will treat me the same.

As an ex driving instructor reading this thread I can only say you have what appears to be an appalling instructor I can only recommend changing instructor, there may be the occasional instructor that will adopt that attitude but most instructors I knew would certainly not at this stage and would be offering encouragement, it may be too late to change now before your test but I would recommend changing if you can find another that can fit you in or in the unfortunate event of a fail.

Most instructors do not like taking others pupils to test without assessing their driving first as pass rates are recorded by the DSA and if they have too many failures they can be recalled for assessment.

PasturesNew

It could just be a personality clash. Some people we like, some we hate. My instructor was an 4rse. If I did something he didn't like he'd throw his hands over his head and scream "FUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!"

Luckily I only needed 7 lessons with that jackass before I took the test and passed. Hated him.... and he was a leery/c0cksure/arrogant sexist 4rse.... I don't hold grudges but that was 35 years ago and I still hate him.

maddogb

PasturesNew wrote: »

It could just be a personality clash. Some people we like, some we hate. My instructor was an 4rse. If I did something he didn't like he'd throw his hands over his head and scream "FUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!"

Luckily I only needed 7 lessons with that jackass before I took the test and passed. Hated him.... and he was a leery/c0cksure/arrogant sexist 4rse.... I don't hold grudges but that was 35 years ago and I still hate him.

lol I think you hit the nail on the head with personality clash it's like a lottery.
My instructor was was exactly like the one you hate but I am not intimidated or made nervous so the mix worked and I past first time.


OP it is important for you to learn and therefore you must make your own choice as to whether you are ready or not, but consider this.
A change of instructor is pretty much necessary here because you are questioning whether or not he is actually right, whether you change or not, try as hard as you can to listen to what is being said not "how" it's being said.
It would be a terrible situation if you not only failed your test but actually caused damage or injury, a car is a very dangerous machine if handled incorrectly,
If any instructor is a good "salesman" but fails at getting YOU to the required standard, you may lose the inclination to ever pass your test
Take you time and when you are ready you will have that confidence to just get in and drive without the opinion of someone else, except of course the assessor.