Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

elsien

That would involve going out though, and I really CBA.

faerielight

penuin hernia
3
2
1
the hernia in my midline scar has been getting steadilt bigger, but all the cleaning made it double in size, and I had a severe asthma attacvk today and coughed loads, and it's ripped my belly,, the midline one is huge and the one on the right that they put mesh in in ove has come back,. I'm ao devestated .. i cant go through this horrow any more. I know whats going to happen, the hospital will put me through the same again with multiple surgery cancellations and force me to deteriorate til l; they strangulate my bowel again and onoy then will they operate, as the nhs crisis gets worse. plus my surgeon told me that this midline one is in a very dangerous place, the epicentre of my scarring and that he will only operate when it is life threatening as it will be very risky surgery and if I though the last one was bad, the next will be an intensive care job, plus it carries a big risk of getting the bag back permanently... I dont know how im supposted to go through this and lose my home too. And my mental health is bad enough without all this medical horrors ahead for the 6th year running. This is too much suffering, I cant bear it, any of it. I have had enough.

calleyw

elsien wrote: »

That would involve going out though, and I really CBA.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I often feel like that. Do you not have anything simple and easy in such as pasta and sauce. Any ding meals.

Not sure I call it cooking but I steamed veg and grilled a couple of veggie sausages and made instant gravy.

I was going to make myself something sweet but I discovered no peanut butter might use some of my amazon vouchers to buy a big tub of it. But will hold off for a few days.

As managed 3 non spend days :j

Yours

Calley

Wellyboots6

I caught a ponyta today, so pretty

elsien

Faerie, I'm really sorry things are so hard for you at the moment.
Can you maybe try to just look one step at a time - it sounds like it's all whirring round your head with things compounding each other. The house thing hasn't happened yet, and it may not happen at all so is it possible to put that on one side for a little bit to focus on your health?
Do you need to see your GP just as a starting point?

faerielight

thanks Elsien, I just wish I didnt know the drill 5 times over for what I've got ahead medically , it's hard to erase from my mind, but it is all going around in my head.. they're no point in seeing my gp for my belly, they leave it to my surgeon I'm too complex for them in the belly dept, I'm seeing my surgeon in sept, I just have to wait for that.

Izadora

Faerie - if you go to your GP can they not refer you to your surgeon as an urgent case so that you don't have to wait until your September appointment?

Elsien - If I really CBA I'll get takeaway delivered, is there anywhere near you which offers that? I know that some have minimum spend thresholds for delivery but I've found that Chinese food freezes quite well so I order more than I need and either have leftovers the following day or box them up and freeze them.

Waves_and_Smiles

Gentle hugs faerie. Take a deep breath and try to stand back a bit, right now you are spiraling (I do that, too) and it is hard to separate things when that happens, it just feels like you are caught up in a whirlwind. Try to recognise that you are spiraling right now which is a symptom of extreme stress, it isn't who you are. It doesn't mean you are terribly unwell and helpless to it, put anyone under a lot of pressure and this is what happens to people from all walks of life. Look at it squarely in the eyes and think ok, this is happening right now and I see it so I can work at getting my emotions to feel more even. Here are two little exercises that help me and I hope might help you.

I want you to think about who Faerie is. If I look at your posts you say you are very mentally unwell, very physically unwell, maybe soon to be homeless and have been treated badly. These are all true but they are circumstances that have happened or might happen to you (to Faerie). They do not DEFINE you. When I think of you I don't think of those things. I see someone incredibly strong who has gone through years of hurt and pain of all kinds and is still fighting. I see someone who values their friends, I see an animal lover who despite everything still cares for her cats. I see someone who has worked successfully in the past and is capable, someone who despite what she is going through always reaches out to support others. I see a lot more too and it is all strong and good . THIS is who you are, you are not the things that life throws at you, try not let them define you-you are so much better and stronger than that and you HAVE got through so much.

This one takes a bit of work to grasp but is one of the most helpful techniques I have found for when I'm catastrophising. Sit down and cuddle a kitty and ask yourself how you are right at this minute. You will think worried about your health and your housing,no those are things in the future so dismiss them for now. You may think about past things, nope they have already gone they aren't how you feel right this second. Try to bring all your thoughts into the present, feel the cat on your lap, your feet on the floor, the chair supporting you. Right at this very second forgetting the past and forgetting the future, how do you feel?

I find this technique immediately calming because usually how I feel in that moment is quite peaceful, my mind gets so full of what has been and what is to come that I ignore how I feel in the present. It does take practice but now I can do it in any situation and it immediately grounds me. Give it a try anyway, it is sort of meditation without going to deeply into it but the principal is the same.

Waves_and_Smiles

Has anyone caught an Eevee yet? I have a cuddly Eevee saved in my Amazon basket and have done for ages because I really want one. I adore those little things.

It is lovely and cool today! I positively bounced out of bed 2 hours ago wondering where all my energy had come from and realised I was just my usual self but with no breathlessness or aches and cramps at all. This is WONDERFUL!

onomatopoeia99

WaS, I have one Eevee, another appeared near work yesterday but I couldn't catch it, it escaped from the pokeball three times then ran off!