Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

elsien

I cry when I'm angry. Which I really wish I could stop doing as when you've got steam coming out of your ears and are trying to make a point/get something resolved dripping all down the person you're talking to is less than effective!
No idea how to go about rewiring the reaction though.

Pyxis

codemonkey wrote: »

Is there much point in darning socks anymore? I suppose if they're good quality wool socks. My socks are all pretty rubbish. I try to throw holey ones away but they're wiley and end up in the laundry sometimes. Then I wear them again and think 'hmm better throw them out' and somehow they end up in the laundry pile again. Actually holey socks make decent dusters.

Them there wily socks! :T
I love that!

Ono, you should write a story about Horace the Holey sock and how he defies all attempts to throw him away!
"Horace the Holey Sock dodges the dustbin!"

He's a Homing Sock - keeps coming back! :rotfl:


(Why is it that Holey socks keep turning up, but perfect socks go missing? :rotfl: It's a Sock Conspiracy!)

onomatopoeia99

Elsien, I used to when I was much younger. It was borne out of frustration, about not being able to achieve something / having messed something up (so the object of my anger was me) or not being able to communicate to someone why they were making me angry (whether they were being deliberately ignorant or accidentally, it made no difference).

Don't know how you stop it, for me nowadays the walls are so high, nothing bad gets out, no-one sees. I'm very, very careful about who I let close enough to hurt me that much. I'm not saying this is a good way to be, but it's one of my defence mechanisms.

elsien

I think mine's more about having learned somewhere along the line that it's a bad thing to shout and get cross. And discussing feelings with people close to you? Goodness, no, couldn't possibly do that. Oh well, I suppose recognising why I behave as I do is a starting point even if I then don't get around to trying to change it. The thought of the type of self - reflection that WaS is able to do would fill me with horror if I had to try to apply it to myself.

Flybaby

Oh Code, WaS - no, no, no................there is a massive difference between someone who "can't" drive for whatever reason and someone, like my hubby, who "chooses" not to drive. I am really sorry If I made anyone feel bad.


The narked feeling came from him not realising the full implications of his choice. He loves riding his motorbikes and quite simply doesn't want to drive a car. In that instance, I think the non-driving person just needs to be aware of what the driver does and remember to say please and thank you and not take it for granted. Hubby started washing my car a few years ago whenever he washed his bike and when I asked why, he said he had thought about it and thought that washing the car and maintaining it for me was a way he could show his appreciation for all the extra bits I do coz I'm the driver. I thought that was nice.




I drive my mum around all over the place all the time (even though she can drive) and she always says thank you for driving me, even though I remind her that she spent years driving me about as a child.

Georgiegirl256

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

Please keep wittering on! Your "blog" posts and the insight they bring are fascinating, and have certainly hugely increased my awareness of how MH conditions affect people's lives, in a way that TV news reporting never has.

Ditto this!!

I'll admit it, I really didn't have a clue about a lot of MH conditions before joining this thread, so I find your posts interesting, informative and a real eye opener.

So, keep wittering away!

Elsien, I can be the same. I think sometimes with me, it comes down to frustration. I'm a weird mixture of my parents, in that I'm like my Mam in that if I've got something to say I'll say it, and will stand up for myself, but I'm like my Dad in that I hate confrontation sometimes.

Waves_and_Smiles

Yay! people are awake!

You didn't upset me fly! I knew you were referring to a different circumstance.

It isn't a bad thing not to be as self-reflective as me and sometimes I envy people who aren't. Remember I begun psychotherapy at 13 whilst my personality was still forming and I was very open to suggestion, it certainly saved my life but made me extremely analytical. Added years of therapy just built on that. The downside is I don't have spontaneity, I cannot do anything without examining my motivations because it is built into me to do so. I do envy people who just react or take action and then deal with the fallout later, there must be a huge freedom in that. I don't know how not to reflect on my beliefs and actions, it's totally ingrained in me and automatic.

Hahahaha! I am sure I won't stop posting novels, they help me sort out my own thoughts and if they entertain other people then that's a bonus!

Pyxis

There's a discussion on Victoria Derbyshire at the moment about whether mental health issues are inherited.


Bit of a non-starter question, I'd have thought.

Brain chemistry profiles can be passed down through generations, as can predispositions to brain chemistry changes (that need a trigger to be activated, admittedly).

Another case of the media not understanding that mental health is all down to chemistry.

Is it because no-one wants to admit that their emotional states and feelings are just down to neurones and chemicals?

Well, wake up and smell the coffee, peops out there! :rotfl:

codemonkey

Elsien, I'm the same as you with the anger crying. My mum does it too.

I'm a bit of an emotional pacifist really. I hate confrontation and shouting and try to avoid wherever possible. But when I'm furious, I cry which makes me more angry because it dilutes the message somewhat.

The majority of my family are drama queens who thrive on confrontation. I just want everyone to get along. If I didn't look so much like my parents, I'd definitely think I was adopted.

MH is a tricky thing because certainly it involves the chemicals but also there are environmental factors coming into play which is why just drug treatment alone isn't as effective as combining it with some therapy in a lot of cases. I also think there's some kind of predisposition coming into play. I definitely think it needs more resources and more emphasis because I'm pretty sure MH is tied into a lot of medical conditions and as a result we're treating the symptoms rather than the problem. I also have great admiration for those who are open about their conditions as it shouldn't be regarded as a bad secret that one must never speak of.
I'm guilty of hiding my issues even from the people closest to me because part of my issues is that 'nobody must ever know because they'll think you're disgusting and not want to know you anymore'.

calleyw

Flybaby wrote: »

Oh Code, WaS - no, no, no................there is a massive difference between someone who "can't" drive for whatever reason and someone, like my hubby, who "chooses" not to drive. I am really sorry If I made anyone feel bad.

Fly you put it way better than me. That is what I meant.

If I did not drive. When my husband went to hospital I would have been unable to see him most days due to buses. I passed on my 6th attempt. Not that I was rubbish just went to pieces on the test.

Yours

Calley