Children and bedroom fairness...

SingleSue

The first time I had my own bedroom was when I was almost 36! I shared with my brother initially and the third bedroom was used as a guest room but when my sister arrived, it was decided brother would move to the smallest room and I would share with my sister in the larger room.

At my house now, eldest and middle share the big bedroom, youngest has the very small box room.

onomatopoeia99

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

My answer before reading the above was that you are totally overthinking the matter. Usually in most families, the older child does tend to get the bigger/better bedroom. I thought it was going to be a case of limited space and options, but it appears you have plenty. It's a dilemma that happens in families everywhere.

That's what happened in my family, I was older so I got the bigger room, though it was long and thin so had a second bed in it, meaning the useable space was not greatly different.

It was slightly different in families of friends with a girl and a boy though, the girls always seemed to have the larger rooms, even when they were the younger sibling.

Person_one

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

That's what happened in my family, I was older so I got the bigger room, though it was long and thin so had a second bed in it, meaning the useable space was not greatly different.

It was slightly different in families of friends with a girl and a boy though, the girls always seemed to have the larger rooms, even when they were the younger sibling.

I shared with my younger brother until I was about 6 or 7, then my parents bribed me into going into the tiny box room with a promise of choosing all the wallpaper/curtains/carpets/lampshades etc. They'd never have fooled my brother with that and they knew it! :rotfl:

Lunar_Eclipse

meer53 wrote: »

Wait until you have the second child before even thinking about it. Second child may never arrive, they're not guaranteed.

My thoughts exactly, helps keep things in perspective and avoids wasting precious time thinking about such things.

I always had my own room and had a relatively privileged upbringing. My children also have their own bedrooms and a similar lifestyle, though none of us currently have the luxury of ensuites/bedroom suites which many of their friends do.

I have several friends who live in gorgeous country houses, complete with pools, tennis courts, beautiful large grounds and lots of house that is at least a full time job for someone to keep clean, tidy and in good order. They are lovely environments to visit and entertain, but absolutely not the type of place I'd like to call home ever. There's so much more to life than looking after our stuff.

Any size bedroom is still a bedroom. In a heated house etc etc.

Good luck getting pregnant.

Jagraf

I can't remember ever talking in the playground about our bedroom set up. I don't think kids are really bothered so long as they feel secure at home.

picklekin

I was always pretty bitter about getting the small bedroom when I was younger (as well as the hand me down clothes, back-seat in the car, breakfast I didn't like etc etc!) so I think its very nice that you are putting some thought into this, even it is a little premature. I know you love the house and the area, but its likely that you will move at a later date down the road (say 5-10 years)? In which case when you do, you swap the children over and the other one gets the smaller room.

I think you can make it up to the other child in other ways (give them their choice of breakfast hehe) and as long its explained to them I don't think it would be as bad.

blu3sky

Similar to others, the oldest (lucky me!) got the biggest room (also on a separate floor) and then my younger brother swapped in once I'd left home. He definitely feels a bit hard done by in general as the middle child so perhaps room swapping is a good idea!

We shared a bedroom until we were 9 and 7 out of choice and were (are still!) as thick as thieves- I think sharing a room had a lot to do with this!!

DigForVictory

We've just finished the second swap around & it's all working splendidly. The "Guest Bedroom" with double bed has gone to middleson, on the simple understanding that if we have guests, he's on a camping mat in a brother's floor.
The bigger bedroom had bunks & became the youngest's sole domain, but was too much for him to keep even half way tidy, so he & the eldest have swapped. Eldest got his own room and while it was the smallest, it had the best views. Now after a massive clear out, repaint, tip trips & plans for a carboot, everyone is settling into their new spaces & are happy as clams. [Still not sure how you measure how happy a calm is, but I like the phrase.]

Fair or unfair, switch folk around every couple of years or so to give everyone an equally unfair turn! You Find Things, emptying rooms...

Jagraf

My brothers room was smaller than mine but had a much nicer view and was warmer as it had more internal walls. I'm not sure that teaching kids that bigger is better is a good way to go - it seems to linger into adulthood - cars, houses, etc.

gingercordial

Depending on your children you may even find that one of them prefers a smaller room. When I was a teenager we moved to a much bigger house and my brother got a huge room - for scale the family we bought it from had six children and that room was used by triplets with three single beds and even then plenty of cupboard and floor space. He hated it and begged to move into the little spare single bedroom next door as he just didn't like the space. He's now in the Forces so obviously likes cramped accommodation! Whereas I have always wanted the biggest room I could get. So maybe one of yours will be more like him than me.