Children and bedroom fairness...

RainbowLaura

Hi everyone,

We are hoping to have a second child within the next year or two, and are in a dilemma about our house. If we move at all, we'd rather do it now while it is easier!! The thing is, we really love it here and would rather not... in fact, it would break my heart to leave this little house. The only niggle is the bedroom arrangement, which is over two floors like this:



Currently our little girl is in the small bedroom on the middle floor next to us, but thinking a few years ahead it seems very unfair that one child would have the lovely top bedroom with dressing room whilst another has the little single. To give an idea of size, currently we have a double bed in the top bedroom and a single bed in the "dressing room" for when family visit, and the dressing room actually has 4 fitted wardrobes, a bookcase, a storage chest and a bedside table in it as well, and works pretty well as its own bedroom... I'm thinking the large top bedroom could become a shared playroom with the dressing room as a bedroom. Does this sound "fair"? I'm just not sure about having a bedroom coming off a shared room if you see what I mean, due to privacy etc in the future...

Very much a "first world problem" I know, but I don't think we'll have the option to move once we have 2 little ones so decision time is now or never!

Person_one

I think you mean a first world problem.

I'm not a parent, but I know a lot don't like to have young children on a different floor, in case of illness, emergency etc. Would that bother you?

With older kids or teenagers, I'd say you have the top floor and let them have the two smaller bedrooms, but maybe not ideal with babies/toddlers.

Dill

Personally I think with 3 bedrooms plus one dressing room which would also serve as a bedroom, you've got plenty of room for 2 adults plus two or possibly even three children.

If your children are the same sex they could even share a room, if not they can have a room each.

If you like the house, there's no need to move, as far as I can see

whitewing

As you love the house, I would wait and make the decision when the next child(ren) get here.

RainbowLaura

Person_one wrote: »

I think you mean a first world problem.

I'm not a parent, but I know a lot don't like to have young children on a different floor, in case of illness, emergency etc. Would that bother you?

With older kids or teenagers, I'd say you have the top floor and let them have the two smaller bedrooms, but maybe not ideal with babies/toddlers.

Oh dear, yes I did, clearly haven't woken up yet today!!

I'm thinking that sharing will be fine for the first three years or so, until our daughter is ready to move upstairs. The problem with us having the top bedroom is that our current bedroom has an en-suite, so it would still be just as "unfair". However, thinking into teenage years, the very long term plan is for us to move upstairs and put an en-suite in the dressing room, and knock the current en-suite into the small bedroom so that both middle-floor rooms are a decent size. That will need to be when both children are okay to be on a different floor to us though.

RainbowLaura

Dill wrote: »

Personally I think with 3 bedrooms plus one dressing room which would also serve as a bedroom, you've got plenty of room for 2 adults plus two or possibly even three children.

If your children are the same sex they could even share a room, if not they can have a room each.

If you like the house, there's no need to move, as far as I can see

Thanks Dill, I also think there is plenty of room for a family here, it's just the awkward layout And being 3-storey there are a lot of restrictions in terms of what we can do about it! Thank you for the reassurance, it is nice to feel like we don't have to move... the problem is that the majority of my daughter's friends at playgroup who live in the same area are all in huge houses and it makes ours seem inadequate! It's hard to try and focus on what we've got when we're in the smallest house type on the development

whitewing wrote: »

As you love the house, I would wait and make the decision when the next child(ren) get here.

If we have another child, I don't think we'll get the mortgage we need to move unfortunately

Dill

RainbowLaura wrote: »

... the problem is that the majority of my daughter's friends at playgroup who live in the same area are all in huge houses and it makes ours seem inadequate! It's hard to try and focus on what we've got when we're in the smallest house type on the development

Wow, sounds like a good (affluent) area!


My neighbour has three boys, and they're all in a 2 bedroom flat! I often wonder how she manages. I would think that before long she will have to move.


It sounds like you've got one of those town houses, they are lovely, I can see why you don't really want to move. There are lots of them in the town where I live, and many of them have a basement and attic as well. Not very much garden though. I think space is at a premium so they built tall houses on a small amount of land :rotfl:

Tigsteroonie

The average three-bedroom semi has two bigger bedrooms and one small, single bedroom; so the unfairness dilemma happens in many families.

When I was growing up, my parents dealt with this by decorating one larger & the single bedroom in a generic way, and then regularly swapping myself and my brother between bedrooms with 6-9 months in each. The larger room had both a single bed and a sofa-bed, so the incumbent had to accept they would be moved out temporarily if any guests came to stay.

Georgiegirl256

RainbowLaura wrote: »

Thank you for the reassurance, it is nice to feel like we don't have to move... the problem is that the majority of my daughter's friends at playgroup who live in the same area are all in huge houses and it makes ours seem inadequate! It's hard to try and focus on what we've got when we're in the smallest house type on the development

My answer before reading the above was that you are totally overthinking the matter. Usually in most families, the older child does tend to get the bigger/better bedroom. I thought it was going to be a case of limited space and options, but it appears you have plenty. It's a dilemma that happens in families everywhere.

My answer after reading the above is that it isn't so much about 'Children and bedroom fairness', rather a case of trying to keep up with the Jones which is kind of sad really.

pigpen

the 'dressing room' becomes the bedroom with the addition of a window for the child you currently have..

the new child has her current bedroom


Bedroom 2 becomes a designated play room with study area and a 'guest bed' for sleepovers.

RainbowLaura

Dill wrote: »

Wow, sounds like a good (affluent) area!


My neighbour has three boys, and they're all in a 2 bedroom flat! I often wonder how she manages. I would think that before long she will have to move.


It sounds like you've got one of those town houses, they are lovely, I can see why you don't really want to move. There are lots of them in the town where I live, and many of them have a basement and attic as well. Not very much garden though. I think space is at a premium so they built tall houses on a small amount of land :rotfl:

Yes that's why we don't want to move, it is a nice area. If we move it will be to a bigger house in a not so nice area!

It does put it in perspective to hear about bigger families managing in a small amount of space - I think it's easy to forget sometimes that my own Grandad shared a room with six siblings, and they all turned out okay!! How times have changed!

They are very stingy with plot sizes now aren't they - even a lot of the big houses around us are over three floors and have small gardens. They definitely prefer to build upwards rather than sacrificing a bit more land!