How do you explain to friends/family that you've got no money?

Popstess

d70cw6 wrote: »

people do like to over complicate their lives.

try being honest and say you cant afford to do x,y,z.

I wish I was as lucky as you and everything was as black and white as that but unfortunately some of us can't help having complicated lives and it's not their fault.

Izadora

d70cw6 wrote: »

people do like to over complicate their lives.

try being honest and say you cant afford to do x,y,z.

But when people's idea of skint is that they can only afford 3 holidays that year, saying that you can't afford it can often seem like you can't be bothered. A friend of mine thought I was snubbing her because I kept turning down invitations and didn't seem to understand that her suggestion of "Just put aside a couple of quid a week" isn't all that helpful when you have absolutely no way of cutting anything down to create any leftover whatsoever.

Popstess

Izadora wrote: »

But when people's idea of skint is that they can only afford 3 holidays that year, saying that you can't afford it can often seem like you can't be bothered. A friend of mine thought I was snubbing her because I kept turning down invitations and didn't seem to understand that her suggestion of "Just put aside a couple of quid a week" isn't all that helpful when you have absolutely no way of cutting anything down to create any leftover whatsoever.

Exactly!!!

d70cw6

isnt that their problem, rather than yours?

Newly_retired

If your finances are not going to improve for a couple of years, say, maybe your lifestyle and choice of friends and social life has to change?
It depends what led to your difficulties. If it was something specific, a one off, that is perhaps something you could admit to, and recover from. If it is because of your general lifestyle, then a complete rethink may be necessary.

Bobcrowther

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

I saw no reason to be ashamed of poverty that wasn't of my making so to say. I couldn't help being so poorly-paid and I couldn't help the fact I'd never met Mr Right (so have always had to pay all bills, etc, on my own) - and hence I've always been quite open about my finances and couldn't give a toss if I embarrassed anyone responsible for that (my employer, Councils charging single people 75% CT rate, etc).

Imagine blaming your employer for your low pay!
If only there was a way for you to learn more skills and earn more money. Unbelievable. :rotfl:
Take some responsibility for your own employability or lack thereof.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Bobcrowther wrote: »

Imagine blaming your employer for your low pay!
If only there was a way for you to learn more skills and earn more money. Unbelievable. :rotfl:
Take some responsibility for your own employability or lack thereof.

And if you're too skint to pay for the courses/can't go on them because you're working every hour possible to make barely enough to meet the rent & council tax?

I've been in that situation - to get the better paid job, I'd need to take courses I just don't have the money to pay for. And I'm shattered after working three jobs.

Of course, if the OH were to miraculously get better overnight, he'd be able to look for work. Might even get something. But he hasn't so far, unfortunately.


I find it easy to say no nowdays - there was the inevitable 'it's been a rubbish week, let's have a staff drinks night tonight at the cheapest pub in the area' today. Yes, it's been rubbish. Yes, it might have been nice. But, seeing as the rubbish week was rubbish because I've just been told I'm being made redundant (along with a few others who are in the slightly more fortunate position of qualifying for large redundancy payments because they've been there longer than I have and earn more than I do in the first place), the last thing I'm going to be doing is spending a tenner on drinks when it's needed to buy food for the week. Or sipping tap water, wishing my stomach wasn't rumbling so much as they have proper drinks and food.

'Are you coming?'

'Nah, can't afford it' [shrug]


Worked perfectly well. And then home to some pasta and pesto.

Homeownertobe

Newly_retired wrote: »

If your finances are not going to improve for a couple of years, say, maybe your lifestyle and choice of friends and social life has to change?
It depends what led to your difficulties. If it was something specific, a one off, that is perhaps something you could admit to, and recover from. If it is because of your general lifestyle, then a complete rethink may be necessary.

I agree with this too. While many people would be willing to change their habits temporarily for a friend, if that friend essentially withdrew from the group because they couldn't afford the level of socialising, then maybe it's best that they go.

Might sound horrible but people outgrow friends all the time, for many, many reasons. Why shouldn't finances be one of them?

AnotherJoe

Popstess wrote: »

I wish I was as lucky as you and everything was as black and white as that but unfortunately some of us can't help having complicated lives and it's not their fault.

That's not actually what the person said. They said some people over complicate their lives. Which is what you are doing if you say "a bit skint" or simikar evasive words which can be misunderstood".

If you said "I'm in debt and need to pay it off so I simply can't afford it" then people might understand.

There's a difference between having a complicated life which may not be of your own causing, and making it even complicated than it is or need be.

Popstess

AnotherJoe wrote: »

That's not actually what the person said. They said some people over complicate their lives. Which is what you are doing if you say "a bit skint" or simikar evasive words which can be misunderstood".

If you said "I'm in debt and need to pay it off so I simply can't afford it" then people might understand.

There's a difference between having a complicated life which may not be of your own causing, and making it even complicated than it is or need be.

That's not what they said either if you read their post again. However as always it's easy to read text different to how it was meant without tone of voice and body language.