Relationship decorum dont do's: What turns women off?

Bobcrowther

Anal.
Well, for most.

heuchera

elsien wrote: »

Men who call women birds.

Someone (on here, needless to say) actually took objection to a man calling 2 of his female colleagues 'ladies' when referring to them..

Maybe we should start a man's list of the things they don't like about women

lisa110rry

miss_independent wrote: »

Complete strangers who approach and ask for a date. I find it extremely creepy. I know nothing about these men. Why would you go out with a guy you just met on the street?

Personally, I also find men who are old enough to be my Dad or Grandad asking me out or making flirty/sexual comments a massive turn off. One of my good friends is happily married to a man 25 years older who has a son only 18 months younger than her, so clearly this is not a turn off to all women. The worst thing I find is men acting as if I am rude by politely turning down a date because I'd rather enter into a relationship with someone closer to my own generation as opposed than someone in their 40s/50s or 60s. In fact, any man with a sense of entitlement over women or a sense that a woman "owes" them a date or sex is a turn off. I'm hearing more and more that if a man pays for a woman's meal during a date then they feel they are "owed" sex at the end of an evening. As is a woman on a date is merely a cheap alternative to a prostitute!

Treating me as if I am intellectually inferior or weak because I am a woman also not a good move.

!!!! pics. No thank you.

Hitting, kicking, punching or being generally rude as a form of flirting. My ex used to (gently) punch my shoulder or hit my arm when he wanted me to speak to him or pay him attention. Even in the workplace. Speaking to me would have been more effective. If I ignored his hitting/prodding/tugging and sometimes even biting, he would sit on me. In a non sexual way, obviously. Again, even in the workplace. All of it without even a simple hello or good morning. Which leads to...

Immaturity/Peter Pan syndrome.

ETA: Spinkz a list of "turn ONs" thread might be a good idea... I hate being negative and re-reading the above I sound like a right moaner. And moaners are a turn off lol.

You continue to go up in my estimation, Miss. Only thing I would change is that in my sector, construction, we have to take some dodgy jokes, but are esteemed if we can pay them back. I don't struggle with that, but I'm 59.

Edited to add: having said that, the men in my company (almost exclusively men) soon learn I do not allow bad language, unless very under their breath and not intended for me to hear, nor do I tolerate rudeness in any other way. We must all be polite as if we're facing clients.

marleyboy

heuchera wrote: »

Maybe we should start a man's list of the things they don't like about women

So long as we dont mention Cooking or Ironing as ultimately the biggest bugbear would be a woman's need to read everything their spouse writes.

(awaits frowned looks from Tigs)

paddy's_mum

Poor table manners would make me struggle to remain at the table and would put me off even the world's favourite heart-throb.

DigForVictory

Behaving as if she's less than you.
In any way.
Even if she's 3' shorter - just do not start on the heightist stuff.

Then as far money, intelligence, charm? No one has a monopoly, so treat her with all the intelligent charm & respect you can conjure, & if you can make her laugh? Could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship...

System

Men who smoke.... ive had 30 years of passive smoking.
Arrogance
A foul mouth
Poor sense of hygiene (dress sense i can work on )
Men who flirt shamelessly. (If my man wants to flirt he can flirt with me)

Caroline_a

Crudeness and toilet humour are pretty horrible, and I agree with lots of the other things mentioned in the other posts.

Hypochondria is annoying too (ie I'm sicker than you) as is sulking, which I think is probably a sign of immaturity.

Stupidity when combined with an 'I know everything' attitude (but that goes for women as well!)

miss_independent

lisa110rry wrote: »

You continue to go up in my estimation, Miss. Only thing I would change is that in my sector, construction, we have to take some dodgy jokes, but are esteemed if we can pay them back. I don't struggle with that, but I'm 59.

Edited to add: having said that, the men in my company (almost exclusively men) soon learn I do not allow bad language, unless very under their breath and not intended for me to hear, nor do I tolerate rudeness in any other way. We must all be polite as if we're facing clients.

You are very kind Lisa! I believe I'm seen as quite old fashioned among my contemporaries but I don't really mind anymore. I adore manners (Spinkz...manners are a MASSIVE turn on) and like you, I am not keen on bad language and try to avoid it where I can. Unfortunately, in my (very artsy) line of work every second word begins with f and ends in k or worse still the C word and you are seen as abnormal if you don't have one night stands, multiple sexual partners at once and a significant weed habit. I sometimes feel as though I'm rebelling against their rebellion.

I was recently the only woman on a course with a lot of construction workers and the jokes got old very quickly. I can imagine what you have to go through on a daily basis and sympathise with you.


Digforvictory you are spot on.

HurdyGurdy

Lying. About anything. Broken trust, for me, cannot ever be repaired.

Swearing. So unnecessary and uncouth. It doesn't impress me.

Abuse. Actual, threatened or implied.

Bad manners/rudeness. Please and thank you should be standard in anyone's vocabulary.

But that's pretty much what I hate about women as well, so it's not exclusive