Big fight over wedding dress

Foxriver8

For what it's worth, I got a very cheap dress, bought it online, didn't even try on any others, and it is my one regret about the day. Yes, £2k is a lot but maybe she can shop around and get the same dress cheaper? The thing is though, yes, £2k is a lot of money, but 2,3 or 5 years down the line are you going to noticeably "miss" that money? I know if I had just spent a few grand on the right dress a few years ago I would be happier with how I looked on the day and I doubt my finances would be in much different shape over all, and as you live in work in London (which I don't) I would imagine this would be even more so for you.

However - I do get that this is a money saving website, and you are not comfortable with £2k on a dress. As I said, maybe see if she can get same dress cheaper elsewhere? If she can sell it afterwards for £500 that would bring the effective cost down to £1.5k? Would she be willing to compromise on something else on the day (flowers, make your own invites or something) in order to use the money for the dress?

Hope you get it sorted 😀

Foxriver8

ALIBOBSY wrote: »

The sad fact is SOME women (not all by a long shot) spend time planning a wedding day, when actually the thing that is most important is planning your marriage (this will hopefully last many, many times longer than a single wedding day lol).

We had a simple wedding just really close family, we had a lovely ceremony in the local registry office, a meal at a lovely local pub followed by a buffet at my mums. I got a lovely crushed velvet dress, a jacket and hat and shoes in matching colours. We had a lovely very happy personal day for under £500, I guess if you count our rings as well it would be closer to £650/£700 max. Almost 20 yrs later we are still together have 4 children and are very happy. A big wedding day doesn't make a marriage. I don't regret a thing and because we had a small wedding my parents were able to give us a few thousand towards our first house deposit a couple of years later.

Sit down and talk calmly with your partner, and work things out together. If you can't do that now your marriage has no chance.

Ali x

Notwithstanding what I just posted above, I also love this way of doing things :). I suspect this would be an even bigger discussion though and something your OH might just not go for at all

tatabubbly

Why are you even getting married? Sounds like you are half arsed about it and making a massive deal out of the one thing she's asked for. I got married in September and my Hubby gave me an unlimited budget for my dress, I picked one for £495 cos it's the one I liked so FYI all us woman aren't predisposed to want an expensive dress.

pleasedelete

Brides parents pay for the dress traditionally- what is their view? How much are they putting into the fund?

Does your bride have £2000? If so then I suppose it is her choice to spend it as it is yours to buy alligator shoes.

I love clothes and typically spend £300/£350 on my day/work dresses which are fantastically made and last forever but I would not pay £2000 for a wedding dress as you can get a great one hand made for much less than that and they are only worn once.

pleasedelete

tatabubbly wrote: »

my Hubby gave me an unlimited budget for my dress,

Why did he have to give you anything?

Surely a budget is mutually agreed from mutual funds?

ALIBOBSY

Foxriver8 wrote: »

Notwithstanding what I just posted above, I also love this way of doing things :). I suspect this would be an even bigger discussion though and something your OH might just not go for at all

There certainly was no stress involved lol. OH rang me at work and said what are you doing 4 weeks on friday I said nothing, he said book a days leave we are getting married :rotfl:.

TBF we were already engaged and had discussed a small wedding, so he went and booked a date at the registry office. The meal we had at the local pub was in fact off the christmas menu as it was in December so was 3 courses for around £12 each I think. We even had crackers and paper hats :T.

It was all about us and the people closest to us and was lovely. We then honeymooned in scotland. It meant we could afford a few days in a really posh hotel and enjoy ourselves-I was 5 months pregnant so didn't fancy a long flight anyway.

Whole thing was about us and was lovely, been to and heard about many big expensive weddings where the marriage was over in under 5 years.

Ali x

DigForVictory

I am not a fan of being photographed. However, when I got married, I had to just smile & get on with it.

A dress that made me feel better would have helped.

We're not all wired to want the Great White (Disney has a lot to answer for) but if you've managed to agree this much this far, then there's scope for negotiation & if necessary, scaling back to accommodate The One.

It's gone a bit quiet since we started asking you questions. Hoping you're both well & happy.

boomish

I agree, you don't need to sped 2k on a dress, you just have to shop better! My daughter is getting married this year, we are spending similar money but she has a budget and doesn't want to over spend on any part, she found an amazing dress for 499, I don't know the place but it's a shop in Bromley , it's very popular, it has a cap I think of £499 but the dresses look the same as any dress of 2k..thatsnot my opinion thats her's and her mother and all the fashion advice she has had from friends & family that have gone looking with her.
Hope that helps

cashewnut

I LOVED my monsoon dress I married in earlier this month. £240 and worth every penny

My friend had her bridal shop wedding dress (£1300) cleaned recently and the dry cleaning bill was £100!

tatabubbly

pleasedelete wrote: »

Why did he have to give you anything?

Surely a budget is mutually agreed from mutual funds?

It was our mutual funds? We were both paying into our savings and we agreed on the budget together for everything apart from dress which hubby said 'spend what you like'.. So I did :cool: