Big fight over wedding dress
Andrew_Ryan_89
Forumite 530 Posts
Women and weddings are one of the biggest mysteries in life. No matter if you are 5, 10, 20 or 50 years of age, it's like there is genetic conditioning that is held from childhood and never leaves. That being the the fairy tail wedding.
My fiance and I just bought our first property back in December and now are planning the wedding. Typically I am very practical with my money and it has served me well up to this point. Despite never being in the highest paid of jobs, I have managed to buy a relatively new car for cash, saved enough for a deposit on a 2 bedroom house in London, literally have £0 worth of debt and have had absolutely no financial help from any friends or family etc. All at the age of 26.
Now that we are planning for the wedding, we always get into the argument over the dress. Spending £2k on the ring, took a lot out of me but I didn't feel too bad, nor do I regret it because I know it's something she will wear everyday and it's insured for twice the amount I got it for. Spending £6k+ on the wedding is something I am prepared to do. I hate the fact that I am essentially paying for a party for 1 day but I we are paying a per head price and not directly for the venue.
But the dress, it's something that I can't seem to let go. She came back all excited that she found a dress she loved and it cost £2k. To me that's just stupid money. A dress you are going to wear once, not even for the whole day. What makes it worst is that her sister had her wedding dress sewed by a friend who is willing to do the same for the fraction of the cost but she's insistent on spending the money.
I would rather spend the money fixing the shower, building the entertainment cabinet, reglazing the patio door, get rid of the shed that is about to collapse or just save the money for a rainy day.
Anyone agree or disagree with me?
My fiance and I just bought our first property back in December and now are planning the wedding. Typically I am very practical with my money and it has served me well up to this point. Despite never being in the highest paid of jobs, I have managed to buy a relatively new car for cash, saved enough for a deposit on a 2 bedroom house in London, literally have £0 worth of debt and have had absolutely no financial help from any friends or family etc. All at the age of 26.
Now that we are planning for the wedding, we always get into the argument over the dress. Spending £2k on the ring, took a lot out of me but I didn't feel too bad, nor do I regret it because I know it's something she will wear everyday and it's insured for twice the amount I got it for. Spending £6k+ on the wedding is something I am prepared to do. I hate the fact that I am essentially paying for a party for 1 day but I we are paying a per head price and not directly for the venue.
But the dress, it's something that I can't seem to let go. She came back all excited that she found a dress she loved and it cost £2k. To me that's just stupid money. A dress you are going to wear once, not even for the whole day. What makes it worst is that her sister had her wedding dress sewed by a friend who is willing to do the same for the fraction of the cost but she's insistent on spending the money.
I would rather spend the money fixing the shower, building the entertainment cabinet, reglazing the patio door, get rid of the shed that is about to collapse or just save the money for a rainy day.
Anyone agree or disagree with me?
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However, it was the right dress for me. But if it's 'the' dress, it's not a logical thing
I found my perfect dress in magazine and nothing else I tried on looked anywhere near as nice (to me). my sister in law tracked down the designers shop in London. I went to see the dress and try it on. i told the designer there is no way I can afford the dress as it was close to £2k as she said she had one that that had been tried on several times, it needed a few alterations and a clean but she said she could do it for less that £1k .. still a crazy amount to spent on a dress but it was a lot cheaper than if I had got it through a local bridal shop.
There really isn't! Perhaps you just know the wrong women.
Forget about arguing about the dress, the cost of the wedding itself is much more than that. If you are going down the big bash route, let her have the dress, otherwise the marriage will only last a few weeks. Guaranteed.
Divorce costs a lot too.
I'm being tongue in cheek here, but honestly, why are formulaic weddings still going on? I mean it is such a formula. Been to one, been to them all. Boring boring boring. Yawn. I go because they are close family and I love them, but I am still bored and get itchy feet, it goes on for so fuppin long.
Just having a rant. Love the couple, but not the antics surrounding it. Sorry if that offends, but I'd say a lot of people would say the same if they were allowed to!
THE DRESS HAS TO HAPPEN OR ELSE!
Sorry, wasn't my intention for that to come across a misogynistic way. Just a general observation with neither negative or positive connotations.
Update:
After my girlfriend returned from storming out the house, she said the "white wedding" is off and we'll just do something in the registry and that I had to let her know how many people we want there, budget, time etc. I told her that I am not doing that as I have already gave her a budget, had most things already planned out (just a disagreement with the cost of the dress) and that the whole marriage is more for her so she should plan things out more.
So stressful and I am struggling to see it from her side. She will say that she's not materialistic, wants to get married for love, religion etc. but can't compromise on a dress? I would like a Armani suit and shoes made out of crocodile skin but am not doing because 1) it will be expensive and 2) it's not practical.
Did she throw something when you said that? I would've done.
Oops, there's your problem right there!
YOU have given HER a budget and things are already planned out, ho hum.
Can your beloved not contribute at all or what?
I think you better think it out again!!
I'm thinking control here
Thank you, my initial post was a rant and reading this makes me feel better. Another reason that I hate doing this is I get little or anything out of it. Unlike my fiance, I am not religious and see no difference in our relationship whether we are married or not. I have a very small group of friends and frankly don't think much of most of my family but yet I have to pay for them to eat, drink and have a good time. And lastly, my girlfriend hates to fly so our honeymoon won't be in Dubai, the Caribbean or anyone really fancy. Pretty much limited to France, Belgium and Amsterdam. Asked her if we can go on a cruise and suddenly she's scared of boats now too.
God, now I have just remembered I have to buy her yet ANOTHER ring and one for myself (I'll get one from Argos for £100 or so). Then there is always the possibility of us getting a divorce and it screwing up all that I have worked for (my dad got divorced from his first wife, not my mum, and essentially had to pay his mortgage of again).
I don't fly either but you can go anywhere in Europe by excellent, fast train services, including overnight travel in quite romantic sleeper cars.