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What are we saving FOR?
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I read threads on the student board about "how much should we give our son/daughter, lots of their friends seem to be getting £100 a week but we can't afford that much?" and just think "why do you HAVE to give your student offspring anything at all?" But maybe I'm just mean ...
No, you're not. It was their choice to go to uni and they know the score. See GarnetGem's post which says it all. Give them £100 a week and they won't appreciate it, it will just go in the Students' Union bar, and when they graduate they'll still have a loan, want to get on to the 'property ladder' and will be looking for their 'inheritance', as TomsMom says! Giving them £100 a week will not teach them to budget, which is really the most valuable lesson they can learn (not taught in school or at uni!)
Gotta go to the dentist's now for a filling, not happy, but don't want to lose another tooth. Should have gone weeks ago but when I fractured my pelvis I couldn't do the stairs at the dentist's.
Margaret[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]Æ[/FONT]r ic wisdom funde, [FONT=Times New Roman, serif]æ[/FONT]r wear[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]ð[/FONT] ic eald.
Before I found wisdom, I became old.0 -
Ever thought of winding the children up by saying something like "Of course when Dad and I retire, we're planning to move in with you so that you can keep us in the manner to which we'd like to become accustomed." :rotfl:
Like it, like it, like it! Stored away for future use (that's if I can remember it :rotfl: )0 -
margaretclare wrote: »No, you're not. It was their choice to go to uni and they know the score. See GarnetGem's post which says it all. Give them £100 a week and they won't appreciate it, it will just go in the Students' Union bar, and when they graduate they'll still have a loan, want to get on to the 'property ladder' and will be looking for their 'inheritance', as TomsMom says! Giving them £100 a week will not teach them to budget, which is really the most valuable lesson they can learn (not taught in school or at uni!)
We are now in a slightly better situation, so we may make a different decision for DS2, especially as his fees (and therefore his borrowings) will be so much higher. But more likely we'll hang onto the money and see how things are when they graduate. No-one helped us onto the property ladder, but that doesn't mean I can't do so if I choose.Signature removed for peace of mind0 -
But more likely we'll hang onto the money and see how things are when they graduate. No-one helped us onto the property ladder, but that doesn't mean I can't do so if I choose.
Good point. There wasn't even a property ladder to be helped up when we were young, there was still some hope of getting council housing eventually and uni fees and tuition were free unless you were rolling in it. The world (as is its habit) has changed. I think it makes sense to be a bit Marxist in these matters: to give according to need and expect according to ability.
We've recently given our son a large(ish) sum, to help him with his business (he did not ask - we offered - he was delighted). Partly this was to cut down on IHT, and when I explained to our daughter she was cool about it, and understood perfectly. We have helped her and her husband, but not to such an extent, because it has not yet been needed. But her eldest daughter is about to go to uni, and her two sisters will probably do the same, so we will take opportunities to help our 3 granddaughters as and when we can. DD understands this, that we are all part of the same family, and that if one prospers, we all do.All Art is the transfiguration of the commonplace
Member #6 SKI-ers Club0 -
daisyroots I think you have put things in a nutshell. Savings gives us choice0
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Hi all
Well, we got the garden wall finished on Wednesday, a really good job done well. Now we're tidying-up at the back, putting the pots back by the wall. Brick walls absorb warmth from the sun, that's why the Victorians used them in kitchen gardens. We had the man from Essex & Suffolk Water who traced the water-pipe for us, so we know that for certain. He also took samples of water to test for lead content, 75-year old lead pipes, and when we get that back we'll decide what to do. We're not going to dig up the part of the front drive where the water supply goes, not unless we have to replace the water pipes if the lead content proves to be above permitted levels. That part of the drive has a good solid hardcore base laid down by my first husband in 1991 and it's not too bad. The other side needs doing because whoever laid it many years ago laid it just on earth, no hardcore, and it's broken and weeds poking through.
Whether we'll do it this year from savings, or leave it as another project to be paid for from next year's annuity, remains to be decided. But yes, as Kittie and Daisyroots have said, saving gives us choice, that we wouldn't have otherwise. We are lucky, I suppose - I hear so much about people of our age who are scratching for every penny, and I feel so sorry for them.
Kittie, good for you for helping the young people. The only person in our family who needs help is my eldest GD, the one who was homeless up to March this year then moved into a council flat. We saw her a couple of weeks ago and I always give her a £20 note. She's managing pretty well, has now held down a job for a year, but the power company she works for is moving to Manchester, too far to travel, so she'll be redundant. She shops and budgets very well, won't have a credit card, is very sensible about everything. She never says 'thank you' but always says 'it's very much appreciated' which I guess, amounts to the same thing!!
Margaret[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]Æ[/FONT]r ic wisdom funde, [FONT=Times New Roman, serif]æ[/FONT]r wear[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]ð[/FONT] ic eald.
Before I found wisdom, I became old.0 -
I am 33 now and therefore do not post on this board. But I had to.
I have NEVER viewed my parents or grandparents money as mine. Its not. Okay - to be honest, I have joked about Dads villa in Spain as being mine when he goes - in a very VERY lighthearted way whilst in the pool, sunny day, drink in hand gazing up to the mountains and I only mentioned it to my husband.
I want my family to be happy. Thats it. If they find happiness in burning all their cash then so be it. I do not want their money.
My grandparents (Dads side) have moved in with him in Spain. Big thing to do in your 80's, sell up and move, but it made me think about when my Mum and Dad need me. I have already started saving my money, not for my own kids or holidays, but because in 20 years time or so, my parents may have to live with me and I am happy to have them.
Okay - not a great post in ways of contribution, but I just really wanted you to know that not all kids or grandkids want an inheritance. And we do not all intend to disown our parents.0 -
Thank you for this, Charlotte.
No one in our family/families (DH's and mine) want an inheritance either. When we did equity release in 2003 we were urged to inform them all 'because it could affect their inheritance'. Not one of them was in the least bit interested.
Good for your grandparents, taking that big step. Not easy for anyone to move to a different country, very difficult at their age. I am always amazed that people cling on to a house which is too big, too inconvenient, too difficult to manage, until it's very much more difficult to move. Easier to 'downsize' if you're in your 60s than in your 80s.
Everyone should save because none of us knows what is round the corner, and as Kittie and Daisyroots already, said, with a little money in savings you have 'choices' and don't have to be pushed into an unsuitable decision.
Best wishes
Margaret[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]Æ[/FONT]r ic wisdom funde, [FONT=Times New Roman, serif]æ[/FONT]r wear[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]ð[/FONT] ic eald.
Before I found wisdom, I became old.0 -
charlotte664 wrote: »I am 33 now and therefore do not post on this board. But I had to.
I have NEVER viewed my parents or grandparents money as mine. Its not. Okay - to be honest, I have joked about Dads villa in Spain as being mine when he goes - in a very VERY lighthearted way whilst in the pool, sunny day, drink in hand gazing up to the mountains and I only mentioned it to my husband.
I want my family to be happy. Thats it. If they find happiness in burning all their cash then so be it. I do not want their money.
My grandparents (Dads side) have moved in with him in Spain. Big thing to do in your 80's, sell up and move, but it made me think about when my Mum and Dad need me. I have already started saving my money, not for my own kids or holidays, but because in 20 years time or so, my parents may have to live with me and I am happy to have them.
Okay - not a great post in ways of contribution, but I just really wanted you to know that not all kids or grandkids want an inheritance. And we do not all intend to disown our parents.
Thanks for that, our son (27) is the same and althoough he jokes about putting us in a home in Sidcup(?) and selling our house and disappearing with the money, what he wants us to do is have a life.
He was overwhelmed the other day because my husband said he would pay for his air fair to come and see us in Spain and couldn't thank us enough.
He knows if all goes well he will inherit our UK house, but does not presume.(AKA HRH_MUngo)
Member #10 of £2 savers club
Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton0 -
margaretclare wrote: »Hi all
Well, we got the garden wall finished on Wednesday, a really good job done well. Now we're tidying-up at the back, putting the pots back by the wall. Brick walls absorb warmth from the sun, that's why the Victorians used them in kitchen gardens. We had the man from Essex & Suffolk Water who traced the water-pipe for us, so we know that for certain. He also took samples of water to test for lead content, 75-year old lead pipes, and when we get that back we'll decide what to do. We're not going to dig up the part of the front drive where the water supply goes, not unless we have to replace the water pipes if the lead content proves to be above permitted levels. That part of the drive has a good solid hardcore base laid down by my first husband in 1991 and it's not too bad. The other side needs doing because whoever laid it many years ago laid it just on earth, no hardcore, and it's broken and weeds poking through.
Whether we'll do it this year from savings, or leave it as another project to be paid for from next year's annuity, remains to be decided. Margaret
Margaret, looks like you've chosen a good time weatherwise for all this outside work as well - dry and sunny is the forecast for this weekend.
Just a thought about those lead pipes. Don't let them dig them up and cart them away without paying you for them. Lead is fetching very high prices these days - a church in London (forget exactly where) had the entire roof stripped recently - it is worthwhile for crooks to undertake such dangerous enterprises because lead is so costly. Don't let anyone persuade you they are doing you a favour for taking the lead off your hands, or worse - charge you for "disposing of it"All Art is the transfiguration of the commonplace
Member #6 SKI-ers Club0
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