What are we saving FOR?

margaretclare

When anyone finds out that, although retired wrinklies, we're still saving, I'm often asked: 'what are you saving FOR?' The next remark is usually to the effect that we should spend it, if we don't the government will only get it, we'll have to pay for care etc etc. 'Spend some of it, go on a cruise...'

Just now and then, I'm glad that we DO save and that we HAVE got savings. Last year we needed the roof replaced and the tiles, delivered on site, had to be paid for in cash. This year we planned to get a garden wall built, a project that was first mooted some 17 years ago! We've just replaced 3 fence panels but this is a wall that we can paint white (and yes, I know about the legislation, and next door agrees and is all in favour, so no problem there). This wall is going to cost approx £1100. When the builder man walked back to his van, I saw that he and DH were looking at the front drive, which is a mess, to put it mildly. This man does paving as well, is a local man, the type of guy we like to do business with. The £1100 is already budgeted-for, no problem there, but if we get the drive done this year as well? Isn't it marvellous to have SAVINGS! You never know when you're gonna need them.

Getting the drive done will be absolutely the last job that this little 1932 bungalow needs, and it will look nice at the front. The wall at the back will be painted white and we'll be able to grow plants against it.

So, for anyone who asks us 'what are you saving for?' we'll have something else (apart from the roof etc) that we can point to.

Margaret

seven-day-weekend

Well done Margaret and I agree you still need 'rainy day' money whatever age you are.

I'd like to do a bit of travelling (only UK and Europe) as well though, when I start to receive my pension.

margaretclare

Hi 7DWE

I agree about the travelling (but not a cruise!) We have been a bit limited this year - were planning to visit Niagara in July but then I fell and fractured my pelvis. We were away last weekend in Wensleydale, gorgeous scenery, steam trains, nostalgia, what could be better. We're still planning the Rhine valley journey but that will probably be next September.

Best wishes

Margaret

TomsMom

Well, I really had the wind taken out of my sails today.

Margaretclare may remember from another thread that I said my daughter had commented "We need that to pay off our mortgage", upon hearing that we were going on holiday to Oz SKI-ING (spending kids' inheritance, it's been a bit of a jokey remark in recent years in our family), and I said I was pleased that at least my son had a different attitude.

My daughter came to visit this weekend (we see her only about twice a year) and she told me my son had been on the phone to her last week whingeing about our holiday. When I asked why he was whingeing about it he had apparently said "I don't know where they're getting the money from and that's our inheritance they're spending" :eek:

I'm mortified. He's never given any indication that this was his attitude, my d-i-l's attitude has always been we should spend and enjoy it while we can. Plus he's commented that his sister has a money grabbing attitude.

Hubby and I are 60/59. Fingers crossed we reckon we have a good possibility of 10 more years of being physically active enough to gad about on holidays like this. After that we may be slowing down - who knows! So we plan to enjoy what holidays we can in that ten years then see how things are and more sedate holidays will probably be the order of the day.

So, how much do you keep as savings?

Definitely enough for unexpected emergencies, property repairs or maybe, like my mom, an operation privately and quickly to ease pain that would otherwise be a long wait on the NHS. In present day terms, maybe £10,000-£15,000?? What do people think?

As long as we don't have to pay for care there will always be the house to be sold and divided up on the death of the surviving partner so the children will get that - unless I decide to bequeath it to the local cats' home instead

seven-day-weekend

I would give Tom a stern talking to Tomsmum and point out that it is YOUR money until you pop your clogs and even then you may leave it to the cats' home. Cheeky wotsit!

As to how much....well we have more than the amount you suggested but at the moment we have a very small income and so feel we need this as a cushion.

Once I start getting my State Pension, we'll spend a bit more of it. (SKI-ING).

I would have thought £20k was quite adequate. This will be enough if your roof caves in or your Ferrari breaks down.

margaretclare

My daughter came to visit this weekend (we see her only about twice a year) and she told me my son had been on the phone to her last week whingeing about our holiday. When I asked why he was whingeing about it he had apparently said "I don't know where they're getting the money from and that's our inheritance they're spending"

I'm mortified. He's never given any indication that this was his attitude, my d-i-l's attitude has always been we should spend and enjoy it while we can. Plus he's commented that his sister has a money grabbing attitude.

Hubby and I are 60/59. Fingers crossed we reckon we have a good possibility of 10 more years of being physically active enough to gad about on holidays like this. After that we may be slowing down - who knows! So we plan to enjoy what holidays we can in that ten years then see how things are and more sedate holidays will probably be the order of the day.

TomsMom, you are mortified - I am mortified for you! Quite honestly, if anyone in our family even hinted at the kind of thing your son has said, he/she would be written out of our wills as fast as we could get down to the solicitor's, and there would be written details as to why we'd done that. Fortunately, nobody is likely to. When we did equity release in 2003 to pay off the mortgage we were warned that we should discuss it with our nearest-and-dearest because 'it could reduce the inheritance you leave behind'. We did as advised and no one was in the least bit interested. They're all doing well enough from their own efforts.

Since then I've come to detest the very word 'inheritance' because I've heard and read it so often in the context that you quote.

I don't know 'how much you need in savings'. A cushion, certainly, because everyone who has a house will know that there are always things that need doing - redecorating, repairs, you name it. Also if you have a car it will need replacing at some point. We've been saving because quite honestly, our income now is more than we need to live on. DH normally puts £200 over into savings every 4 weeks when the next state pension arrives, that's £200 that he hasn't spent from the previous payment, approx £2600 a year. I save too. I get 3 different annuities and one is a lump sum annuity of £1483 every September, have done since 1989, and I usually spend it either on home improvements, a holiday, some household equipment like a new fridge-freezer, or the like. I had planned to pay for the wall this September but having the drive done as well will use up some savings.

TomsMom, at your age you could easily live another 30-40 years, and who knows what you may need in that time? Not only going on holidays, but none of us know what changes may be and what you may need. DH and I are enjoying having spare money now, aged 72, when for most of our adult lives we never had spare money, it all went as fast as it arrived. And of course, we are better off because there are 2 of us with our own independent incomes. It will be a lot different when one of us is left on his/her own. We'll need money if that happens, the one left behind may decide to uproot and go somewhere else, who knows.

In any case, that money that you're spending on a holiday is yours, not your son's or your daughter's, it's yours, you earned it and it's yours to do with as you choose. There is no such thing as an inheritance until someone actually breathes their last and can't take it with them. No one has got a God-given automatic right to eye up their parent's assets - it's ghoulish, to say the least, like measuring you up for a coffin! This is something we hear of nowadays and I don't think it was so widespread formerly. Certainly DH and I never inherited a penny-piece and we've done all right. DH tells of his father, who had £4K which he left to be split between 4 grandchildren, £1K each. He also often talked about wanting to visit Israel but never got off his behind to do it, for one excuse after another, would have to get a passport and it was a lot of effort etc. DH says he should have used his money and done what he talked about so often.

I would be extremely incensed if I had a son who'd made those kind of remarks and he would certainly get a very large flea in his ear, at the very least.

Margaret

TomsMom

Thanks seven-day-weekend and Margaretclare.

Well, after I got over the initial shock of what my daughter told me and I'd calmed down enough to speak I did actually say to her yesterday

"There is actually no such thing as "OUR INHERITANCE". That money is mine and dad's, OUR money that we've worked and saved all our lives for, not anyone's inheritance, OUR money to do with what WE want. And what WE want at the moment is to spend it on holidays that we haven't been able to take in the past. If your brother wants to know where it's come from you can tell him that WE have SAVED it. We don't smoke or drink (son smokes, daughter drinks) and our social life is zilch as dad works 6 days/nights a week (we have a restaurant) so we don't have time to do anything. So all our money goes on the one thing we know we can enjoy - holidays, and that's the way it will be while we're still physically able to do it".

I felt a bit better after that. She may tell him if he brings the subject up again. I doubt if he will bring it up with me/hubby but if he does he will definitely be told what we think and I might just ask him if he wants to measure me for my coffin now :rotfl:

Thanks for listening to me and sharing your thoughts.

seven-day-weekend

That's the spirit!

Techno

Do you think your son really did whinge to his sister or do you think she is blaming him for something she thinks? Just a thought
x

TomsMom

Techno wrote: »

Do you think your son really did whinge to his sister or do you think she is blaming him for something she thinks? Just a thought
x

Well Techno, your thoughts not too far from my own!

As I said in my original post she did originally say, upon hearing of the holiday, "I need that money to pay off my mortgage" to which I replied "Your mortgage is for you to pay, nobody paid ours for us". It may have been said as a joke

I did mention to hubby today I wonder if son said this to daughter in the hope of goading her to say something more and then he would come to us and say "Sis says blah...blah..blah.. about your holiday, money grabbing sister that she is". He has described her as money grabbing before.

As a family we all love each other, however son is one of those who find emotions difficult to show. Daughter is a bubbly type of person, always upbeat. Son is more of a moody/moany type of person and sometimes delights in other people's unhappiness (gosh, can't believe I'm saying that about my own son!)

Daughter lives 100 miles away, is very very close to her in-laws and because we only see her a couple of times a year although we are still close and loving it seems that her in-laws take precedence. She arranged our grandson's christening at a time when she knew we couldn't go - first week of school holidays and we run a restaurant in a seaside town . She did the same for the christening of our granddaughter and her own marriage blessing a few years ago, so we have missed out on all of the important events of the last few years although she could have arranged them at a time when she knew we could go. But, it was her choice.

I remember also when she was living at home before she was married, it was my birthday and also the birthday of someone where she worked. The work colleague got a present costing £10, I got a book that cost £2.99!

But you love your children for all their faults.

Son has recently been going through a very difficult patch in his marriage and has come to us for support and a sympathetic ear. Although we said we don't want to be involved or forced to take sides as it was up to him to sort this out, we still listened and were there for him through his tears and unhappiness. It was nice to have the old son of years ago back. He spent a lot of time on the phone to his sister talking about his problem too. Funny, we thought, as normally he likes to be sarcastic and put her down. Things have settled down for him at the moment and the nice old son is disappearing again, he didn't even bother to say goodbye to his sister today as he was on the phone to someone.

But you love your children for all their faults!!!!!!!!!!

You will always love them but sometimes you don't like what they do.

So at the moment they can both whistle. I shall spend as much as I can while I am able. If I still have a house when I'm nearing my time I may have changed my will by then and leave it all to the grandchildren instead or maybe the cats' home

margaretclare

"There is actually no such thing as "OUR INHERITANCE". That money is mine and dad's, OUR money that we've worked and saved all our lives for, not anyone's inheritance, OUR money to do with what WE want. And what WE want at the moment is to spend it on holidays that we haven't been able to take in the past. If your brother wants to know where it's come from you can tell him that WE have SAVED it. We don't smoke or drink (son smokes, daughter drinks) and our social life is zilch as dad works 6 days/nights a week (we have a restaurant) so we don't have time to do anything. So all our money goes on the one thing we know we can enjoy - holidays, and that's the way it will be while we're still physically able to do it".

Couldn't have put it better myself. Good for you. It's worth pointing out, in addition, that you are STILL working, and running a restaurant is darned hard work, long hours, a lot of responsibility and physical effort. It's not as if you were sitting on a million or so in the bank - you're still in the working world, grafting away.

I said to DH this evening - if we get the wall done AND the drive done this autumn, can we still afford to go away for Christmas as planned? He said 'I don't see why not, after all we both have savings, what are we saving FOR?'

Leaving it all to the grandchildren...in fact that's what DH and I have done. Whatever we leave behind us after the second one pops his/her clogs is to be split between 5 grandchildren, 3 of mine and 2 of his. IMHO that's a far better idea than leaving it to the next generation to squabble over.

Best wishes

Margaret