Sensitive housing matter following bereavement

FredsMom

Thank you Mojisola, that is still on the table at the moment too.

FredsMom

Thank you TBagpuss,

They have been living together at her mothers' for a couple of years and she is expecting a baby in May. They had been looking at properties to rent before my mother passed away, but yes, I see your point.

At the moment, the younger two children aren't aware of the situation, but I am and yes it's unfair.

I have thought about renting it out and until this last week it was my intention to let it to my son and his gf. It's still on the table that I rent to other tenants though, once I have figured out my responsibilities as a landlady.I am painfully aware that the landlady/tenant relationship, if there was one, would likely be problematic, it's just another issue to factor in to the equation.

FredsMom

Thank you Yorkshireman99,

I have been in contact with the CT dept, they are aware there are new residents in the property. Insurance will be sorted this evening, it's something I hadn't previously given priority to..

With regards to eviction, it's not a route I want to take but realise I have to keep an open mind

FredsMom

Thank you amersall,

No, of course not, I just needed to hear that I wasn't being unfair. As with all the other options, selling up is on the table but probably a ways down the line.

Yorkshireman99

FredsMom wrote: »

Thank you Yorkshireman99,

I have been in contact with the CT dept, they are aware there are new residents in the property. Insurance will be sorted this evening, it's something I hadn't previously given priority to..

With regards to eviction, it's not a route I want to take but realise I have to keep an open mind

I understand how difficult this is but you are just being emotionally blackmailed. Your son should ashamed that he is doing this.

pathtofreedom

FredsMom wrote: »

I am in the process of transferring utility bills etc, so I will be the one paying for the insurance and probably the gas, electric etc etc for the foreseeable future .
.

Don't change the utility bills to your name, he needs to pay those if you are going to rent it. Have a good read through this guide https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/67759934#Comment_67759934 it is a lot to take in but will help you understand how charging him rent might cost you more money in the long run with all the yearly checks you have to do etc etc

Can't he just put the bills - apart from the insurance - into his name for now. Then give yourself 3-6 months then decide if you sell or if you make it formal with the right certificates, contract etc. You don't have to have a deposit so that's one less thing to worry about. So then if he does stop paying or it is just costing you too much to keep it then you can evict him.

Everyone needs time to grieve, and that includes you. I've been the one sorting everything out for everyone else and giving away all my savings, for the good of the family. There comes a point though where he'll need to stand on his own two feet. Maybe you can make a deal that he needs to get a job within 3 months, if he does that you'll do a contract so he - and only he don't include the GF on the contract - can rent it at a rate that covers your costs. If he keeps the job and his side you'll keep allowing 6 month extensions, or whatever until he's finish uni. If he's a student even if he doesn't have a job he must have some sort of loans etc, the uni might be able to help him with housing as well. I don't think he'd be able to claim HB while a student anyway. You could try and match the dates up for any rental contract with term times ending, so he could look to move into a shared house with uni friends next year or something, as you're being nice by not kicking him out mid year maybe.

Then once he's finished uni, only that course though, you could sell the house and gift the other two part of the proceeds equivalent to the discounted rent this one was getting, so stop any ill feeling of one getting more than the others. If he doesn't want to do that, then it is up to you then if you just rent it out to a stranger, or sell it and give any cash to any of the kids or use it to pay off your own mortgage.

I'd hold of on any really big decisions for 6 months if you can though, to let the dust settle a bit, and then it can stop some of the grief and ill feeling. By that time the excuse, it is what granny wanted or whatever is less valid, and you're sorry but granny isn't here any more and you're not made of money to subsides his life for the next x years.

FredsMom

Thank you moneyistooshorttomention,

Again, another factor that I hadn't considered and yes you did explain it clearly, thank you. It's not even that I need the rent money, but that I feel he SHOULD pay. I have always tried to treat all 3 equally. If my next in line moves out, I would be happy to help her out with rent if needed or pay a bill that comes in, as parents that's what we do, but I have 3 children and need to be fair to each of them.

pathtofreedom

Ah cross posted, the baby complicates matters, but if anything you need to be harder on them. Else you will be guilted forever into letting them stay in the house once the baby comes. Never rent / loan money to friends or family, I've been burnt very badly by this, it never ends well. You won't be doing him or the baby any favours, if he doesn't learn how to live and support himself either.

dancingfairy

Obviously we don't know him, you do. Someone he has spent considerable time with and was possibly close to ( his nan) has died, he risks losing a home that has been in his life for quite some time/ throughout his teenage years and his girlfriend is pregnant. His parents are getting divorced. There is quite a lot going on in his life and let's face it some 20 year old can be immature anyway.
He shouldn't necessarily be allowed to just live rent free though and just because he is perhaps struggling it doesn't give him automatic rights.
Ideally you need to sit down, preferably somewhere neutral and have a proper chat. How does he see his furure,. How is he going to provide for his family?
I think a grace period of 6 months or so may be reasonable but only you know whether he would take the mickey with it.
In some senses it would be better if they all got a home together and claimed whatever benefit they were entitled to and you rented the house out.
I hope you can sort something out.
Best wishes.
Df

Spirit_2

If they were supposed to be moving out anyway, then can you offer to help them with the rent on their new home for a short period? funded by letting or selling your inherited property.

If you want to treat all offspring equally, you can do the same for your daughter when she moves out.

If you feel very sentimental about it, could you move in there and let your current house?