Sensitive housing matter following bereavement

FredsMom

Hi all,
Thanks in advance for reading and any advice that you may be able to offer
My situation is that I have recently been left my mum's home following her passing away last month. The executor of the will is in the process of dealing with probate so the house has not been legally transferred to me yet.
Currently my son and his gf are staying there, my son having lived there on and off over the last 8 years or so. (The last 2 years he had been living with his gf at her mother's home.)
I don't wish to sell the house and have offered to rent it to them at half the cost of similar properties in the area, I have also said this won't come into effect for a while (I was thinking a few months) as they are both students and I wanted them to have time to sort out employment. However my son believes I should let them live there rent free indefinitely and this has caused considerable friction in the family.
They are unable to claim housing benefit as we are related and it wouldn't be viewed as a commercial letting.
I'm just not sure what to do next, I would like them to live in the house, but to pay a nominal rent too, I have always worked and have 6 years left to pay off my own mortgage, the house they are in is mortgage free.
Am I being unfair to ask for rent at all? I have 2 other children, one of whom is looking to move out shortly and don't like the feeling that they are missing out if I allow the oldest to basically walk into a house that they could never afford under "normal" circumstances.
I have tried my local council for advice about becoming a landlady but they were no use, the Money Advice Service gave me Shelter's number who, unsurprisingly were unable to help as they deal with tenants.
Any advice appreciated, apart from dealing with the loss of my mother I am in the process of a divorce and normal thinking is out of the window at the moment.

Cheeky_Monkey

Sorry for your loss.

I think your son has a damn cheek to be honest expecting to live there for free. It would also be totally unfair on your other two children.

Maybe you should think about selling it, paying off your own mortgage and then giving all three of your children some money (equal shares).

One thought though - you say you are currently going through a divorce - is there any chance your husband (soon to be ex) might say he is entitled to some of it?

pathtofreedom

If it was me I'd charge them rent. I'd also get your own buildings insurance on the place, as I'd worry if you leave it to them if something happened it might turn out they forgot to pay it and you'd have an expensive pile of bricks. If you are charging them rent though you'll need to learn about being a landlord, get gas certificates etc, and declare the income.

Maybe it is just easier to insure the place yourself, then give them 6 mornths or year to sort themselves out then sell the place. As if you can't get them to pay enough rent to cover your costs it will turn into a millstone. Get a proper contract drawn up to so you have that if they think they can have squatters rights or something so you can evict them after a year, but hopefully it doesn't come to that.

Sorry if any of this sounds harsh, I'm just trying to look at this practically. I've been though a tricky situation after a death in a family, and there comes a point where you have to stop being a door mat, as people will take advantage and say terrible things even if you're actually helping them.

FredsMom

Thanks for the reply Cheeky_Monkey.

I was feeling that way about it myself but wanted to hear other opinions. I'd rather not sell the house for sentimental reasons, but it could end up being my only option. Sadly it's impossible to have a conversation with him recently, he's 20 and he knows best..

With regards to my ex, we have been separated for 2 years and so far the (DIY) divorce process has been amicable. He never paid a penny towards the house I am living in and in a draft clean break agreement that we have drawn up between us, he has agreed that he has no claim against the marital home. I am in the process of getting this drawn up with a solicitor as my Nisi is being granted tomorrow (yay!) I wouldn't have thought he would try and make a claim, there are no children or any other assets shared and he wants a clean break as much as me.

Mojisola

FredsMom wrote: »

I don't wish to sell the house and have offered to rent it to them at half the cost of similar properties in the area, I have also said this won't come into effect for a while (I was thinking a few months) as they are both students and I wanted them to have time to sort out employment.

However my son believes I should let them live there rent free indefinitely and this has caused considerable friction in the family.

He's being very selfish in causing trouble for you at such a sad time.

If he doesn't like the idea of paying half a rent, I'd tell them to leave and find their own place to live.

TBagpuss

No, you are not being unreasonable at all. Even if you felt it was appropriate to house your son why would you want to house his girlfriend as well?

It may cause friction with your eldest if you don't let him live there free but surely it will cause friction with your other children if they don't get equal advantages.

Your son seems to have a massive sense of entitlement.

I think it would be entirely reasonable for you to tell him that he will need to pay rent, and make it clear that he's not entitled to a free ride.

It may be that you should consider renting it out for a year or two (and if you wish, helping your son out with his rent) rather than letting him live there. To be honest, if he expects to be able to move in rent free indefinitely it may well be that you'd find there were lots of issues with trying to manage a landlord/tenant relationship as well as a parent/child one.

If he and his GF are currently living in the house then I think it would be entirely reasonable for you to give them a tmescale to either move out or to signal formal tenancy agreement and start paying proper rent (don't forget to check your formal responsbilitiies as a land lord)

Yorkshireman99

FredsMom wrote: »

Hi all,
Thanks in advance for reading and any advice that you may be able to offer
My situation is that I have recently been left my mum's home following her passing away last month. The executor of the will is in the process of dealing with probate so the house has not been legally transferred to me yet.
Currently my son and his gf are staying there, my son having lived there on and off over the last 8 years or so. (The last 2 years he had been living with his gf at her mother's home.)
I don't wish to sell the house and have offered to rent it to them at half the cost of similar properties in the area, I have also said this won't come into effect for a while (I was thinking a few months) as they are both students and I wanted them to have time to sort out employment. However my son believes I should let them live there rent free indefinitely and this has caused considerable friction in the family.
They are unable to claim housing benefit as we are related and it wouldn't be viewed as a commercial letting.
I'm just not sure what to do next, I would like them to live in the house, but to pay a nominal rent too, I have always worked and have 6 years left to pay off my own mortgage, the house they are in is mortgage free.
Am I being unfair to ask for rent at all? I have 2 other children, one of whom is looking to move out shortly and don't like the feeling that they are missing out if I allow the oldest to basically walk into a house that they could never afford under "normal" circumstances.
I have tried my local council for advice about becoming a landlady but they were no use, the Money Advice Service gave me Shelter's number who, unsurprisingly were unable to help as they deal with tenants.
Any advice appreciated, apart from dealing with the loss of my mother I am in the process of a divorce and normal thinking is out of the window at the moment.

It is obviously a difficult situation but your son is trying it on big time. The bottom line is that he has to go. You need professional paid for advice on how to evict him. You also need to make sure the property is insured and that any council tax is paid. I realize this will be hard but the longer you allow him squat there the worse it will be.

amersall

Agree with all the other posters, he has a damn nerve.
Nobody lives for free.
Sell up, pay your own mortgage off and give all your children some money.

moneyistooshorttomention

Actually - even charging this son half rent would be unfair to your other children. Reason being that the rent money from this son (whatever level its set at) is going to be going into your bank account/savings. Whatever you have in the way of money in your bank account/savings will, presumably, come the time get divided equally 3 ways between the three of them.

If this particular son pays you only half the rent due on the place - then there will only be 50% of due rental income there in your savings come the time to be divided between the three of them - as this one son would have already taken out 50% for himself basically (thus he would be getting approx. 67% of the rent money due on this house for himself - 50% upfront as reduced rental and the other 17% as a third share of the extra savings in your account from having received rent on the place iyswim).

Your other two children are already likely to be upset at some of their potential future inheritance money going into the pockets of this son of yours courtesy of a cheap rent.

Hope I've explained it clearly enough for you to see what I mean.

FredsMom

Thank you for the reply pathtofreedom,

No it doesn't sound harsh at all, I'm usually pretty practical and switched on but when you're in the situation it can be hard to see the best option.

I'm perfectly aware that he is being dripfed by his gf and her family, what business it is of theirs I have yet to figure out, but of course I am keeping this opinion to myself.

I am in the process of transferring utility bills etc, so I will be the one paying for the insurance and probably the gas, electric etc etc for the foreseeable future .

Good thinking re the contract, it might be that I give them the option of paying rent or 6/12 months to sort something out. I feel like I am bending over backwards to accommodate them, like you say..a doormat. Some horrible comments have come my way recently but I have ignored it, again, as you say, there is only so much you can do or take.

RAS

Sorry for your loss.

Plainly things with your son have not been easy if he has been living with his grandmother on and off for the last 8 years. He may view this as "his home" and that may be part of the issue.

However, given his attitude, I would be inclined to ask the executor if they could support you and tell the little dears that they both have to move out by a set time (possibly after exams?).

Part of the executor's duty is to secure any assets and to ensure that they are passed to the beneficiaries intact. It the place properly insured?

And have you got a gas safety certificate; even for lodgers you now need one (assuming England and Wales); in Scotland you probably need to be registered and given the new laws may not want to rent out the house without proper training.

Do not transfer the utilities to yourself, please.