Money Moral Dilemma: How should I tell my sister I can't afford these gifts?

doctorblunkett

I find it fascinating some of these responses.
a) the generic "waaah, why cant we have "real" dilemmas?". you complain, yet you still come back, and you still comment. if this thread isn't good enough, then you'd leave.
b)"all of these dilemmas can be sorted if people just talked to each other". this dilemma is asking "what approach do I take". it's essentially saying "I am going to talk to resolve it, but how should I start?"
come on people!

Bellisima

Crikey, surely you can tell your own sister the truth that you can't afford it, and to stop buying random presents for mum and expecting you to cough up a contribution! I have two sisters and I would not hesitate to explain this if it was one of them. This is probably one of the oddest dilemmas yet.

Pollycat

doctorblunkett wrote: »

I find it fascinating some of these responses.
a) the generic "waaah, why cant we have "real" dilemmas?". you complain, yet you still come back, and you still comment. if this thread isn't good enough, then you'd leave.
b)"all of these dilemmas can be sorted if people just talked to each other". this dilemma is asking "what approach do I take". it's essentially saying "I am going to talk to resolve it, but how should I start?"
come on people!

Well, if the OP doesn't know what approach to take with her own sister, how are a bunch of random strangers on t'internet going to know....

System

doctorblunkett wrote: »

I find it fascinating some of these responses.
a) the generic "waaah, why cant we have "real" dilemmas?". you complain, yet you still come back, and you still comment. if this thread isn't good enough, then you'd leave.
b)"all of these dilemmas can be sorted if people just talked to each other". this dilemma is asking "what approach do I take". it's essentially saying "I am going to talk to resolve it, but how should I start?"
come on people!

The definition of dilemma: A situation in which a difficult choice has to be made between two or more alternatives, especially ones that are equally undesirable.

There is no dilemma in Nick's post and i think that's why people find them so poor :money:if he said that he wants to contribute but cant afford it so is thinking of making a contribution on his credit card/not wanting to get her a gift but feels he has to, to not upset his family etc then we would have a real dilemma to discuss and offer our opinions.

happyinflorida

I'd have the discussion in front of your mum so she can be aware of what your sister is up to. Tell your sister straight out that you are not able to contribute anything further due to your financial constraints - ie you haven't got the money!

elizhar

If you can't afford it and there has been no discussion of cost prior to your sister buying the present then the cost is on her. We buy joint presents for family members but discuss it first, it's only fair, I would never dream of paying something then expect other to 'put in funds' without asking first. Your sister is in the wrong.:rotfl: