Surrogacy

heuchera

duchy wrote: »

Yes it is legal

Yes Adoption societies cannot reject a couple on the grounds of their sexuality

Why do you feel adoption is preferable to adoption for this particular couple ? Maybe it is just that for you if you had to choose your personal preference would be for adoption ?

You need to read the whole thread.. and adjust the typo.

LilElvis

heuchera wrote: »

That's just semantics. It amounts to the same. Typically they get £7000-£15000.

I totally understand why some might consider surrogacy but I can certainly see why many countries ban it, whether commercial or altruistic.

I must say I am surprised it is allowed here.

It isn't semantics as there is a huge difference between reimbursing someone's actual expenses and paying them a fee over and above their costs. The difference between a gift and a purchase.

My egg donor received the princely sum of £250 for helping me and the other woman who received her eggs. She hardly did it for the money. Had I opted to have treatment in the USA the donor's fee could well have run into tens of thousands of dollars to secure someone with specific physical criteria, maybe a degree from Princeton or Stanford, a high IQ. I made a conscious choice to have treatment in the UK as it was imperative for me that my donor be identifiable to my child and that the donation was truly altruistic, even though it could have added several years onto my wait. I put my child's possible future need above my own desire to have her as soon as possible.

I don't expect you to recognise the difference as your mind is clearly closed with regard to this subject, even though it is one you have little understanding of.

Edited to add that the money this couple would need to raise is not solely for the surrogate. Legal costs and those for the fertility clinic would also be included in this sum.

System

matt.warman83 wrote: »

Hi Everyone

My partner and I (same sex) have been together for 12 years.
We are coming to the end of our fostering training so fingers crossed we are accepted by the panel we will have a child in placement by the end of April! Yay!
Fostering aside we have always wanted out own children (not opposed to adoption but would love our own (call us selfish if you will)
In our early 20's we were very frivolous and didn't save, basically just enjoyed life. Regretting this now as obviously surrogacy costs money so my question to everyone is: what ideas do everyone have for raising money to put aside for the surrogacy? We both work ful time (OH will be giving up work to be main foster care when it goes through) so apart from taking on extra work which is not really feasible for us what can we do?
We are both desperate to be parents and will be the most thankful people in the world when that day comes but until then we have a wonderful nephew and a beautiful new born niece to love and care for.
Thanks in advance for your ideas!
:A:D:)

A very good forum for ideas regarding saving is the debt-free wannabe board. Even if you are not paying off debts there are many ideas for savings and boosting your income.

Do you know how much money you will need to save up, and whether there is a time limit (for example a maximum age for surrogate parents)?

heuchera

LilElvis wrote: »

I used my personal circumstance to try to explain the difference between an altruistic and a commercial situation. Only altruistic surrogacy and gamete donation are lawful in the UK. Gamete donation is, in many cases, also part of surrogacy and is applicable in the OPs situation.

You have clearly decided that surrogacy is something which should not be permitted, despite having absolutely no understanding whatsoever of the legalities surrounding it. Initially you thought it was illegal in the UK, then you had a quick Google and decided that it was not allowed between male couples and then you couldn't make the differentiation between altruistic (legal) and commercial (illegal).

I understand, and accept, that some do not think that surrogacy and gamete donation (which are interlinked) should be legal. I would however expect that someone who takes such a stance, and is prepared to make public their assertions, has at least a rudimentary understanding of the subject.

Some people on this board do like to twist things :rotfl:

The bolded bit is probably the most sensible part of your post.

Calling anyone who disagrees an idiot is not a good way of debating the topic. OP has in any case not returned to the thread.

GlasweJen

We are part of a medical trial so getting free medical.

Otherwise you'd be looking at paying for drugs to stimulate ovaries, the egg collection, semen analysis and the fertilising of the eggs then the transfer which can all quickly add up, if you look up the cost of IVF in your area you'll get an idea, we would have been about £5500 including drugs.

The surrogate can't be paid but expenses add up, we are looking at £12K if we use a stranger. The surrogate can claim for everything; vitamins, extra food, cost of pre-natal classes, maternity clothes, days off work with pregnancy relates illness, time discussing the pregnancy with you, travel to the hospital etc.

You need a lawyer to draw up an agreement and the surrogate can still walk away with the baby at the end of it so we have applied to agencies using someone who has done it before.

Nothing is guaranteed with surrogacy, our baby will be my DNA in a donor egg and OHs sperm so genetically mine but that just means if the surrogate takes our baby we would both be liable for child support.

heuchera

Blimey there's some thin-skinned people on here..

Peccary

Matt, I strongly suggest you look into the organisation Surrogacy UK, they helped my friends find a surrogate and support both parties throughout the process and beyond.

cyantist wrote: »

As a gay couple, only one parent can be biologically related to the child.

My friend's child was conceived by IVF using donor eggs from a sibling so is biologically related to both parents. It is possible!

LilElvis

Bliley, there are some people with little understanding and even less empathy on here.

heuchera

LilElvis wrote: »

Bliley, there are some people with little understanding and even less empathy on here.

REPORTED!


(joking )