Do you/Would you vet potential dates

Alikay

Guest101 wrote: »

a 'normal' online presence.


Sorry, stop the earth, I want to get off!

That's the great thing about "normal" though...means different things to different people. For me, it may mean a LinkedIn entry, perhaps a couple of posts on Streetlife and an Amazon wishlist that contained a few good reads. For another person "normal" could mean lots of X rated posts on series of S&M forums :rotfl:. If someone came across (online or offline) as far off anyone's idea of normal, it's unlikely they'd get a date. In general we want to meet we have a lot in common with.

Guest101

Alikay wrote: »

That's the great thing about "normal" though...means different things to different people. For me, it may mean a LinkedIn entry, perhaps a couple of posts on Streetlife and an Amazon wishlist that contained a few good reads. For another person "normal" could mean lots of X rated posts on series of S&M forums :rotfl:. If someone came across (online or offline) as far off anyone's idea of normal, it's unlikely they'd get a date. In general we want to meet we have a lot in common with.

I know what you're saying.


I even work in digital comms, but I'm still shocked.


People need to stop posting stuff online for all to see, there's literally no safeguards at all. I find it strange how when discussing safety this isn't brought up.

snowleopard61

Anyone who wanted to find me online would get bored very quickly! My name (combination of first and surname) is extremely common and into the many millions on Google. My fiance’s is even more so and a search brings up entries into the hundreds of millions. Even I can't be bothered to see if either of us has an online presence! Neither of us is on Facebook either.

Luckily we didn't meet online, and I knew his employer and he knew my address, and we quickly got to know each other's families, so the potential for serious dodginess was probably limited.

Anatidaephobia

All I would do is type their name into Facebook and see if something that looked like their profile came up. I wouldn't bother putting anyone's name in Google because I would assume that most, if not all, of the results would be for other people with the same name. I'd only Google them if I already knew a reason they might come up, ie. if I knew they had published a book or something like that.

System

I'd go as far as facebook, but that's it. TBh i did that with the bf (well he added me straight away anyway) and there as sod all on there. He doesn't ever post on it, he just occasionally shares links to himself (he;s shown me his profile from his POV and there;s nothing dodgy going on, he's just an introvert)

HappyMJ

Guest101 wrote: »

The police would be so, so , SO wrong to give out this information, or even consider such a request.


There's no relationship there at that point.


It's so totally overboard that I would genuinely hope the police would actually use the words, "leave, you are wasting police time"

It doesn't matter if there is no relationship at that point. Everyone has the right to ask about potential partners. The police will consider the request and decide whether or not disclosing information is in the best interest if the person requesting that information.

http://www.scotland.police.uk/contact-us/disclosure-scheme-for-domestic-abuse-scotland

The scheme aims to prevent domestic abuse by empowering both men and women with the right to ask about the background of their partner, potential partner or someone who is in a relationship with someone they know, and there is a concern that the individual may be abusive.

Gloomendoom

Anatidaephobia wrote: »

All I would do is type their name into Facebook and see if something that looked like their profile came up. I wouldn't bother putting anyone's name in Google because I would assume that most, if not all, of the results would be for other people with the same name. I'd only Google them if I already knew a reason they might come up, ie. if I knew they had published a book or something like that.

I've just Googled my wife's name and it is the first hit on Google.

To the best of my knowledge, she has never written a book. I'm not using my own computer either.

pigpen

If I felt the need to be that paranoid about a potential date I wouldn't see them!!!

That said.. my OH I met playing an online game through FB!


ETA.. just googled us.. I don't show up at all.. the name I use on FB is not my actual name so I don't come up at all on a google or fb search.. and OH is the only person in the UK with his name (5 people in this country have his surname, him, his dad and our 3 daughters) and only 1 from Europe.. he is pretty easy to find if you know what he looks like. We are both online 24/7 and have been for years and we have no 'normal online presence' whatever your perception of that is.

Guest101

HappyMJ wrote: »

It doesn't matter if there is no relationship at that point. Everyone has the right to ask about potential partners. The police will consider the request and decide whether or not disclosing information is in the best interest if the person requesting that information.

http://www.scotland.police.uk/contact-us/disclosure-scheme-for-domestic-abuse-scotland

1: That's Scotland.


2: They must consider ALL requests. I just hope the answer is as I described it.


3: Define 'potential', there is potentially (despite the microscopic chance) that literally anyone could end up in a relationship with literally anyone else. - Going on a date, does not make someone a 'potential' partner.

barbarawright

HappyMJ wrote: »

It doesn't matter if there is no relationship at that point. Everyone has the right to ask about potential partners. The police will consider the request and decide whether or not disclosing information is in the best interest if the person requesting that information.

http://www.scotland.police.uk/contact-us/disclosure-scheme-for-domestic-abuse-scotland

So you would be absolutely fine with the police giving out information about you to a completely random person with no connection to you?