Do you/Would you vet potential dates

Alikay

barbarawright wrote: »

I have a very common name. Five pages of Google and I only appear once - something innocuous I wrote on a mailing list. I'm on Facebook all the time but it's not public. I imagine this is the case for most people judging by a couple of friends with fairly common names I've just looked for

If that were the case, and I didn't know the prospective date socially or through work, so we had no common acquaintances, then I probably wouldn't meet up with them. Sounds harsh, but there are plenty more pebbles on the beach/fish in the sea.

barbarawright

Alikay wrote: »

If that were the case, and I didn't know the prospective date socially or through work, so we had no common acquaintances, then I probably wouldn't meet up with them. Sounds harsh, but there are plenty more pebbles on the beach/fish in the sea.

So this is why I'm single :sad:

Alikay

barbarawright wrote: »

So this is why I'm single :sad:

Not everyone is as cautious, or disinterested in meeting someone as me! I imagine there will be lots of people who are more open to meeting new people - one of my sons has met a couple of girls off Tinder. As I said, I'm mid 50's and was used to a more "networking" approach to dating in the past...friends of friends and so on.

yvonne13_2

I think if you really wanted to do a search a photo search and email address search would be a better way to go.

Most people are creatures of habit and tend to post the same photos and or use the same email address and or the same handle (Made up user name)on whatever sites they register on. Saying that, photos can be stolen and posted online by anyone even sister companies if you're on a dating app. So the email address would be the best route as that's unique to the individual.

torbrex

You could check out potential dates on MSE, make sure that they are of a similar tight-fisted nature as you are

As a gent I am not sure if I would like to be discounted as a potential date by what is taken from my online presence, I know that I would rather meet someone and get to know them in person rather than toss her away without meeting her.

I am not on fb but I do know that I have been bad-mouthed by people that do use it and a search would probably show up their petty remarks and I would get left waiting under the clock in the Kingdom Centre

Gloomendoom

Hmmmm...

Just Googled my name and discovered that I have been languishing on death row for the last twenty years or so after committing a heinous crime in the mid 90's.

Quite a catch.

System

Heck i'm plastered all over the internet thanks to Facebook, Amazon and Fixmystreet. My name isnt exactly common so i'd be easy to find.

I'm not very happy about that. Last time i checked i had managed to escape Google's beady eye.

Back to the question.... would i vet potential dates on the internet? Probably, it would help me build up an overall picture.

According to my information on Google. I go to Tesco a lot. Am listed in LinkedIn (which has got nothing to do with me) and have reported a dumped black plastic bin to the council.

Gavin83

Alikay wrote: »

I don't know: I'm 50-something and been with my DH for 30+ years, so not au fait with modern dating. Basically, if I couldn't glean anything about my intended date via straightforward internet browsing and my own social network, I wouldn't proceed with meeting him. I was always shy and met my boyfriends via my own established networks back in the 70's and 80's....simply couldn't imagine myself getting together through Tinder or POF. I guess the bottom line is that I'd run the risk of missing out on meeting someone great through my own cautiousness. That's life.

Theres a lot of negatives to this though:

Unless they've done something seriously wrong (ie: news worthy) you'll only get the best aspects of someone through an internet search. Someone isn't for example going to post on facebook or linkedin that they've a bit of a temper or they're a regular cheat. They'll only list what they want people to see. There is really no way around this except the old fashioned way, meet someone and see what they're like.

People share names. You could well end up googling someone to see they've committed a serious crime but it be totally the wrong person.

In my case I do actually have a bit of an online presence. I have the usual social media accounts and have been involved with several projects which would list my name. However I share my full name with a semi famous person so if I google my name all the results are for him. Even our email addresses are almost identical which I know as I've had several emails meant for him in the past. He is famous for a positive reason so hopefully if future employers google my name they'll get mixed up.

It makes me sad that potential partners would reject me based purely on not finding me online but I guess that is their choice.

Guest101

Alikay wrote: »

Yes I would - my safety is paramount, so I'd be checking a few basic things by googling his name. I'd be reassured if he popped up on LinkedIn or his employers website, sports club etc. I wouldn't go mad and probe deeply, just check he had a normal online presence, and no newspaper reports of violent crime!

a 'normal' online presence.


Sorry, stop the earth, I want to get off!

Guest101

HappyMJ wrote: »

It's very easy to change ones name after a criminal conviction for a violent crime so don't rely on Google for that.

I would ask the police under Clare's law. They know of any previous names used and can tell you if the person you are going to date has been known by a previous name and if they have any domestic violence convictions.

I don't think asking the police about someone you don't know and haven't met any of his/her family or friends is going overboard.

If you meet someone locally through mutual friends there's no need for that as you would just ask your friends.

The police would be so, so , SO wrong to give out this information, or even consider such a request.


There's no relationship there at that point.


It's so totally overboard that I would genuinely hope the police would actually use the words, "leave, you are wasting police time"