Do you/Would you vet potential dates

Bobby2016

Have you, would you or do you check potential dates out on the internet prior to meeting them?

Alikay

Yes I would - my safety is paramount, so I'd be checking a few basic things by googling his name. I'd be reassured if he popped up on LinkedIn or his employers website, sports club etc. I wouldn't go mad and probe deeply, just check he had a normal online presence, and no newspaper reports of violent crime!

HappyMJ

Alikay wrote: »

Yes I would - my safety is paramount, so I'd be checking a few basic things by googling his name. I'd be reassured if he popped up on LinkedIn or his employers website, sports club etc. I wouldn't go mad and probe deeply, just check he had a normal online presence, and no newspaper reports of violent crime!

It's very easy to change ones name after a criminal conviction for a violent crime so don't rely on Google for that.

I would ask the police under Clare's law. They know of any previous names used and can tell you if the person you are going to date has been known by a previous name and if they have any domestic violence convictions.

I don't think asking the police about someone you don't know and haven't met any of his/her family or friends is going overboard.

If you meet someone locally through mutual friends there's no need for that as you would just ask your friends.

Gavin83

Alikay wrote: »

Yes I would - my safety is paramount, so I'd be checking a few basic things by googling his name. I'd be reassured if he popped up on LinkedIn or his employers website, sports club etc. I wouldn't go mad and probe deeply, just check he had a normal online presence, and no newspaper reports of violent crime!

What about if you couldn't find anything? After all not everyone feels the need to share every aspect of their life on the Internet.

Hermia

Gavin83 wrote: »

What about if you couldn't find anything? After all not everyone feels the need to share every aspect of their life on the Internet.

You cannot find anything under my real name on the internet as I was stalked once. I have been told that that is a red flag for potential dates, but I have no wish to tell everyone I meet that I was stalked just so they don't think I am hiding something by not being searchable online!

Alikay

Gavin83 wrote: »

What about if you couldn't find anything? After all not everyone feels the need to share every aspect of their life on the Internet.

I don't know: I'm 50-something and been with my DH for 30+ years, so not au fait with modern dating. Basically, if I couldn't glean anything about my intended date via straightforward internet browsing and my own social network, I wouldn't proceed with meeting him. I was always shy and met my boyfriends via my own established networks back in the 70's and 80's....simply couldn't imagine myself getting together through Tinder or POF. I guess the bottom line is that I'd run the risk of missing out on meeting someone great through my own cautiousness. That's life.

kingfisherblue

Alikay wrote: »

Yes I would - my safety is paramount, so I'd be checking a few basic things by googling his name. I'd be reassured if he popped up on LinkedIn or his employers website, sports club etc. I wouldn't go mad and probe deeply, just check he had a normal online presence, and no newspaper reports of violent crime!

The problem is that information on the internet can be false. One chap that I know is on LinkedIn. His profile doesn't mention that he was jailed for embezzlement.

For myself, the only thing that you will find on the internet with my name on is stuff from when I was a voluntary director of a local charity.

One thing I would do is text the registration number of his car if I saw it (although I wouldn't be getting into it). I'd only ever meet in public places, but texting a car reg to a friend would make me feel marginally safer. At least if something happened to me, the police would have a potential lead.

I would, however, make every effort to maintain my safety, so hopefully the car reg would never be needed.

(I have actually done this, but several years ago now. It's a long time since I've been on a date ).

heuchera

Most people I know don't show up on an online search (including me!)

Hermia

heuchera wrote: »

Most people I know don't show up on an online search (including me!)

I know far more people like that than ones who are all over social media under their real names (and I am not old BTW!). I work with teens and there are a surprising amount who aren't on social media or are really careful with privacy settings. I think social media is talked about so much that there is as assumption that everyone is on it. I have also seen a lot of my friends close their accounts over the last few years, especially Facebook.

onomatopoeia99

Alikay wrote: »

Yes I would - my safety is paramount, so I'd be checking a few basic things by googling his name. I'd be reassured if he popped up on LinkedIn or his employers website, sports club etc. I wouldn't go mad and probe deeply, just check he had a normal online presence, and no newspaper reports of violent crime!

I've been through the first 25 pages of google results for my name and have found three matches, all to do with my hobby (more if you count the "Fred Bloggs is on facebook, click here to connect ..." which match loads of people). While my surname is unusual, there is an author / government adviser with the same name as me and about 90% of the hits are for him.

No one is listed by name on our company website, I'm not on linkedin (I admit to not know what it's for) and while involved in a sport which is the source of the online references to me, they are few.

barbarawright

I have a very common name. Five pages of Google and I only appear once - something innocuous I wrote on a mailing list. I'm on Facebook all the time but it's not public. I imagine this is the case for most people judging by a couple of friends with fairly common names I've just looked for